tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38432607209365993002024-03-14T05:15:02.446-05:00BoomLife- Values Driven SuccessThe BoomBlogAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-77453975669474547022015-09-01T10:31:00.001-05:002015-09-01T10:31:25.530-05:00Successful Losers and Failing Winners<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Would You Rather Be A Successful Loser or a Failing Winner?</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are Those My Only Options?</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No, and here's a story that will help you look at success, failure, winning and losing in a different way.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I had set a goal with my kids back in May. For me, the goal had several purposes. I wanted the kids, upon their return to school in August, to be able to say that they had written and published a children's book on their summer vacation. In meeting that objective, I wanted to give Madeleine, 13, a chance to share her artistic talent with the world and I thought it would be a great way for Evan, who says his favorite part of school is writing, to experience the iterative process of writing something for publication.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The goal was to complete and publish the book by the first day of school. We made progress. We created a great story line, Evan has crafted a very nice draft, and Madeleine has drawn some great illustrations, but we didn't make it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yesterday, I called a team meeting to give everyone a chance to assess the situation. I asked, "What was our goal? What was complete supposed to look like?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Apparently, we didn't go a good enough job of defining that because we all provided different answers. All were pretty close, but definitely not the same. After we got aligned (again?), I knew we needed clear something else up- why this project is important to each of us?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Assessment</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Did we fail to meet our goal?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Yes," Madeleine looked down at the table.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Yes," Evan did the same. I could tell they both dreaded what they thought was coming next: a lecture on doing what you "<a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/11/this-word-dooms-change-initiatives.html" target="_blank">should</a>" do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"I agree. Now, let me ask you this, are you satisfied with failing?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Madeleine replied right away, "Nope."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Good. I'm glad to hear that. Evan?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He shrugged his shoulders. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Curious, I asked him, "What does that mean? Are you satisfied with failing, or not?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He looked up, "Sort of." </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I could tell he wanted to say something but wasn't sure how I'd react. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"It's okay, Evan, I want to understand what you're trying to say. I need you to explain it for me.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Well...sometimes...I want to lose."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Hmmmm. What do you mean by that?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Sometimes, I'm going up against someone who isn't as good as me and I don't want them to feel like they always have to lose, so I lose the game."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This conversation was a great time to explain the difference between "successful losers" and "failing winners".</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What Is The Success We Really Want?</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see, we have this tendency in our culture to simplify things and we often inappropriately categorize success with winning and failure with losing. The truth is, they're not the same and while I felt a sense of pride and satisfaction with Evan for wanting to give compassion to others, I knew his point needed clarification.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you've never read any of my stuff before, it's important that you understand the real nature of success. You see, success is getting what you want. But, I'm not satisfied with that definition and neither should you be. The problem is, we can't always get what we want and my point is the results we reap actually don't make us winners or losers.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Winning and losing is about competition, a situation where two parties vie for resources, influence, power, status, or a ranking. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My dissatisfaction with the definition of success compelled me to expand on it (notice, I did not try to change it!) so that as a very competitive person (as former U.S. Army Rangers tend to be), I could learn how to fail without believing I was also a loser. So, I determined that I wasn't going to spend my life trying to be a successful winner, what I wanted was values-driven success. Values-driven success is getting what you want and being the person you want to be. Here's the catch, you can't get what you really want if you are not first the person you want to be. The truth really is that simple!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Difference Between Success and Winning</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I recognized in Evan's answer an incomplete understanding of the difference between values-driven success and winning.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the scenario he gave, Evan said he sometimes wants to give someone else a win. In other words, he wants to help them. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I explained this, "In the case where you're helping someone else at a personal cost, you're not failing to get what you really want. You're actually being a successful loser, a state of being that does not give you a win but more importantly also does not prevent you from believing you can win. That's because you're intentionally doing something that will make you satisfied with yourself. In other words, you say you want to give the other player a win and then you do it. You meet your goal despite the fact that the results indicate they've won and you've lost. In the meantime, you've built trust and strengthened the connection in the relationship."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Evan nodded, I continued, "Now, that scenario is much different than this one where we have not done what it takes to meet our goal. In our case, we did not do what we said we'd do. We failed to get the results we wanted and that was because of the effort we gave, it's different than competing against others with everything we have and losing. We may not always win, but we can always be successful. We didn't lose the opportunity to celebrate meeting our goal because we had competitors who were better than us, we lost because we failed. Get it?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He smiled and said he did.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"So Evan, I'll ask again, are you satisfied with failing?"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"No."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Great! So, now let's figure out what we need to do to complete our goal! I want us to be successful winners! You have drafted a great story and Madeleine has created some awesome illustrations, so far. Now, we need to finish what we started!"</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I looked around the table. Madeleine smiled. Julie Smiled. Evan smiled. I smiled. Incredible! I was amazed at how focused and productive we were in that team meeting. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How to Know When You're a Successful Loser or a Failing Winner</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">...And, What To Do About It</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Focus on a specific situational context and use this matrix to guide you (<a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-bFLXgVLTccbkxaMUpsUUlpbXM/view?usp=sharing" target="_blank">open the .pdf so it's easier to read</a>).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The discerning reader will take note that there is no easy path through the matrix.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This line of thinking, where finding values-driven success in the long-run is a higher priority than short-term results, isn't contrary to what we've been taught or what our culture encourages (in word, if not indeed). It's easy to understand but difficult to practice because our self-serving desire to get what we want, to win, often overpowers conviction. And, sometimes what we think we want isn't really.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope this article has helped you rethink the concepts of success and failure, winning and losing and how you allow them to affect your thinking and decision-making.</span><br />
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<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you, like every client I've helped so far, have only a "general idea" of what you value at your very core, <u>it isn't enough!</u></i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Generally knowing who you want to be as you go about trying to get what you want is a sure path to becoming confounded and stuck, even if you're winning right now...even if you've always been a winner. Things change. Think about it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are You Sometimes a Successful Loser? A Failing Winner?</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Do you know exactly what your core values are and how you define them? Do you know how to identify and define your core values? Do you think conflict, distraction, and stress in relationships come from inconsistent definition and application of values to decisions and actions?</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Do you have a story that illustrates a time when you were a successful loser? A failing winner?</i> (I do, <a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">my book</a> is full of them and I can tell you nothing has been more satisfying than finding the courage to share them with the world so I can help people make positive changes in their personal and professional lives with confidence and conviction)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Why not share your story or your insights on this article? I'd love to read about it as well as your insightful responses to these questions in the comment section, below!</i></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">THIS BOOK!</a></span></b></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. <b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/about-tom-eakin.html" target="_blank">LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...</a></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-81269844413174205692015-08-20T14:55:00.000-05:002015-08-20T15:24:23.307-05:00Ever Do What You Said You Wouldn't?<h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">EVER DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T?</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was recently asked if I could facilitate a workshop intended to help align an executive team that had gone through an enormous amount of change. Almost half of the dozen, or so, team members had joined the organization within the past six months. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I said I could facilitate the process and provided a proposal that included a team alignment workshop. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They hired me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh, the workshop happened. But, I did anything but facilitate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You see, I had just re-engineered my content. I had a new workbook full of new stuff that I couldn't wait to share with everyone. That "stuff" included information, activities, and videos all identified, crafted, and assembled to facilitate a new process through which a team could become aligned in a way that would be meaningful for the organization and to each individual.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then, a funny thing happened. I started talking.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I started sharing my pearls of wisdom and the gold verbal nuggets I'd thought up in the previous weeks while I was developing this "new and improved" team alignment process. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Apparently, I liked the sound of my voice so much...I kept on talking...and sharing...I felt so generous!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I Planned To Not Do</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My client didn't need me to talk and share so much. He needed the people on his "new" team to talk and share.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He gave me a few signals throughout the afternoon. He tactfully urged me several times to get to the part where his people could start to define the reasons why they would want to connect with each other. He wanted them to discover why they might start to develop trust so that some day <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2015/05/why-people-give-more-and-why-they-dont.html" target="_blank">they'd love working with each other enough to ask more of, and give more for, each other when they really needed to</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, by that point, the train (a.k.a. my mouth) had gained a lot of momentum. I'd gotten far and deep enough into the minutia of most of the concepts that I was compelled to take them the rest of the way despite his polite and respectful signals. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, when the afternoon was almost over and we only had about a third of the time needed to start the process I had planned to facilitate I put myself in a position where I had to make a choice: Start the process at the beginning knowing it won't be finished? Or, skip a few steps and get to the heart of the process?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I chose the latter. It didn't go well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I tried to pull everyone straight to the climactic point in my process where they would all join hearts and hands and make up a team song, or something. Meanwhile, they struggled to build a framework on top of something they hadn't had a chance to build a foundation under. Thanks to me, they knew everything there is to know about the building materials for that foundation, but I didn't give them a chance to put their hands on them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I Said I Wouldn't Do</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/facilitate?s=t" target="_blank">facilitate</a> a workshop! </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To facilitate is to "<a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/facilitate?s=t" target="_blank">make easier or less difficult</a>," "<a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/facilitate?s=t" target="_blank">to assist the progress of</a>." I didn't do that. I didn't make it easier for my client's team members to progress in the development of connection, trust, and love. I didn't make it harder for them either...but that's not the point.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Instead, I did what I'd always said I didn't want to do if I were going to get into this kind of business: regurgitate. I puked "wisdom" all over them. Not once, not for a short period...for several hours!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How I Felt About It After</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I felt like anyone who, drunk on his own wine, threw it back up on people he wants to be his friends- Disgusted and dissatisfied with myself. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When the workshop ended, at first, I wasn't sure how well it had gone. As I was driving home after the workshop, I kept asking myself, "Are they even going to have me back?" The inquiring voice was my subconscious trying to force the question to a conscious level. Was I successful at facilitating the workshop? Did I give them a reason to continue the conversation? I just didn't know. I felt terrible as if I'd broken a promise. The truth of the matter was, I did not do what I'd said I'd do. Not completely anyway.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm glad I listened to that voice and heeded the subconscious signal...or else I'd still feel disgusted and dissatisfied with myself today.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I Did About It</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First, I had another workshop with another client five days later. I changed my whole approach. I followed the plan I'd envisioned but didn't prepare well enough to execute in the previous workshop. I could tell by the level of engagement, the animated conversations, the singing (OK, there wasn't any spontaneous singing...but it would have been really cool if there was!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Second, I went back to that first client and I told him the truth about my dissatisfaction. I said, "</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: HelveticaNeue, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">I apologize if my learning curve compromised the value of the day in terms of your team's ability to align with its newer members. I know I could have done better. I recognize I wouldn't be able to live up to my own core values of serving, being trustworthy, supportive, seeking, creative, and courageous if I didn't reach out to communicate these thoughts with you, even if doing so is difficult." And, yes, it was really difficult.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the end, I thanked him for his patience and for the grace he showed during the workshop and told him I looked forward to seeing where the relationship might progress. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well, so far, nothing. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I haven't heard back from him. Not yet. Maybe never, although I am eager to see whether the "relationship might progress" from here. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, it's not always about the results you get. I feel better. I'm still not satisfied with the way I conducted myself during that workshop, but I can't turn back and change that. Instead, I created the possibility for the truth to become a part of the conversation and I followed a path from failure to values-driven success:</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1) I felt like I'd failed and </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">paid attention to the signals which indicated so. You see, I gave a workshop. It would be easy to call it a success.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3) I asked why it felt like I'd failed even though it appeared I'd done what I'd been hired to do. It's difficult to argue with success, you know.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4) I determined what I could do better the next time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5) I did it better the next time.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6) I told the truth. I admitted that in that workshop I did not perform like the expert I said I was...that I did not act like the facilitator I've been for others countless times before and should have been for my client that day. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7) I found satisfaction in my actions regardless of the results and the conviction to keep moving forward...even though it's really hard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Success is getting what you want. Values-driven success is getting what you want and being the person you want to be. Here's the catch, you can't get what you really want if you are not first, the person you want to be." (from </span><a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Finding Success</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I may not be as self-aware as I need to be in the moment...I'm human...but I'm thankful to be willing and courageous enough to hear the voice I often want to drown out with self-served "atta boys;" the one that tells me I could have done better. Shame cannot be overcome without facing it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Onward; full of fear and imperfection. Yet, I go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What Did You Plan to Do and Didn't...or Not To Do and Did?</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ever not do what you'd said you'd do even though, technically, you could call it a success? What happened? What did you do about it and how did that change things for you for the better...or worse? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'd love to hear your story and so would everyone else, so why not share it in the comments section, below! What's the matter? Afraid we'll laugh at you? It's hard to laugh at what we see in the mirror.</span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">BUY THE BOOK!</a></span></b></td></tr>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. <b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/about-tom-eakin.html" target="_blank">LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...</a></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-90294801462163250152015-07-27T16:17:00.000-05:002015-07-27T16:17:58.539-05:00Succeeding at Dodgeball and in Life<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="A Dodgeball on a court," height="445px;" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/vDoysp6ZGjgJ-Dz4lw7DHIu6AEvvh2hxwro-rLDk_H48EaQwxrOshUvqIAvM7mHMyi99iDwBPoXuUFmLXvq5xldN3e9av8X0iJiGDS2KhRox1eeDdBXJcjb3laRAyNCJHldlt2o" style="border: none; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; transform: rotate(0rad);" width="624px;" /></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Source: </span><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dodgeball" style="text-decoration: none;">https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dodgeball</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">SUCCEEDING AT DODGEBALL AND IN LIFE</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To understand how succeeding in life is much like winning at dodgeball, you first need to understand how your brain uses heuristics, or shortcuts, to make decisions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Think of your brain as having two systems. In one of those systems, System 2, we analyze data rationally. System 2 serves us very well in making decisions that reduce risks when choices, possible results, and probabilities are known. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But, we live in a world of uncertainty, especially where potential results and probabilities are concerned. So, we have System 1 that uses shortcuts, or heuristics, to help us make decisions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; font-weight: bold; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">WHY WE LIKE SYSTEM 1 MORE</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There are several fundamental reasons why we have a strong preference to use System 1 over System 2:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">System 2 requires a lot of energy and our brains are hard-wired to allocate less energy to thinking than action.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Real life scenarios are typically full of uncertainty. Sometimes, we just don’t have the time to gather information, but back to reason number one: Our brains just don’t want to.</span></div>
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<span><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Gerd Gigerenzer gave an interesting talk (</span><a href="https://youtu.be/Mx_5_4Qur5Y" style="line-height: 1.38; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">TEDxNorrkoping, Sweden, 2012</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">) titled “</span><a href="https://youtu.be/Mx_5_4Qur5Y" style="line-height: 1.38; text-decoration: none;"><span style="color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Simple Heuristics That Make Us Smart</span></a><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">,” which provides some great examples of heuristic-level thinking and how it can help us. At 5:30, he provides the example of the Gaze Heuristic to show how mental shortcuts help us catch a fly ball, like in baseball.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I like the example. But, life is life is more like dodgeball than baseball in that:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We must concern ourselves with more than one ball.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We can’t catch every ball.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Some balls, we want to dodge.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">HEURISTICS IN DODGEBALL</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">In dodgeball, we need to prioritize so we can make fast decisions. Here are just a few factors to consider as you attempt to thrive amongst your:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Avoid what is most dangerous:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Smaller balls can be thrown faster by just about anyone. They sting more when they hit you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Watch for the kid who has an OK arm and is waiting for that moment when you’re not looking! Especially if he has a small ball.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Stay away from the kid whose arm is so good it doesn’t matter whether you see it coming.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Larger balls are better for blocking than small ones. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Avoid throwing larger balls, they’re easier for the opponent to catch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Seek the best opportunities:</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The bigger the ball coming at you, the easier it is to catch. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Any kid who doesn’t see you is the best target.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Aim low to avoid head shots and bloody noses!</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The payoff for catching someone out is higher if someone on your team is out.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The point is, there is a lot to process and you don’t have time to process everything in dodgeball or in life. Do you throw, catch, block, or dodge? Who is throwing at you? Who do you pick for your next target? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To succeed, you create mental shortcuts that help you decide and act most efficiently. But, how yo prioritize is critical. Without cognitive bases skewed toward safety, following self-serving heuristics can lead you to knock someone upside the head really hard with the little ball. Sure, he’s out, but only because he’s bleeding out of his nose. And, you’re out too because you focused more on throwing hard than aiming low! It’s hard to get one of your friends to catch you back in when the reason you’re out is because you were a jerk.</span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PLjMZfhuGSg/VbaRxXmKZ0I/AAAAAAAAJ-8/PVeEfcjNdpM/s1600/Decision-Making%2BIn%2BAny%2BSituation.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="191" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PLjMZfhuGSg/VbaRxXmKZ0I/AAAAAAAAJ-8/PVeEfcjNdpM/s320/Decision-Making%2BIn%2BAny%2BSituation.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">HEURISTICS IN LIFE</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Life is much the same. Decision-making is critical. And, much like in dodgeball, prioritizing is the key to making heuristics work to your advantage. So, it’s important to understand what the priorities of success are.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Success is getting what you want. Seeking success prioritizes results-driven thinking. In this mode, your thoughts, decisions, and actions have a higher probability of getting what you want. But, results-driven thinking tends to skew your cognitive biases so the end always justifies the means. So, when you use mental shortcuts to make quick decisions you increase the probability of getting the results you want, but you also increase the risk that you will not be satisfied with yourself. Dissatisfaction is not a part of success.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Values-driven success is getting what you want AND being the person you want to be. Being the person you want to be creates satisfaction in your own efforts; it drives inspiration, resourcefulness, and resilience. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Prioritizing your values in front of the results may seem like it reduces your chances of getting what you want, but not really. It actually works out the opposite way. You can’t get what you really want if you are not first the person you want to be. So, if you want to be happy and find success, you need to focus on getting what you want while being the person you want to be. It’s much easier to celebrate from a position of satisfaction than one of regret or desperation. </span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-t0HpcxjtbYo/VbaQ-lgLdBI/AAAAAAAAJ-4/8B6XDxOdSAY/s1600/Decision-Making%2BIn%2BAny%2BSituation-%2BValues-Driven%2BSuccess.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="190" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-t0HpcxjtbYo/VbaQ-lgLdBI/AAAAAAAAJ-4/8B6XDxOdSAY/s320/Decision-Making%2BIn%2BAny%2BSituation-%2BValues-Driven%2BSuccess.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">HOW TO REWIRE YOUR COGNITIVE BIASES</span></h3>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6666669845581px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Identify and define your Core Values.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6666669845581px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Be disciplined in your approach:</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Consistently ask the question: How can I get what I want AND be the person I want to be?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-size: 14.6666669845581px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hold yourself accountable. Evaluate how your decisions and actions aligned with each of your Core Values. Focus on the actions you can't justify and the Core Values you should have applied.</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666669845581px; white-space: pre-wrap;">Continuously Improve.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14.6666666666667px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Rewire your cognitive biases so they skew your heuristical reactions toward your values and you’ll always know what to do even in times of uncertainty. In life, just like in dodgeball, you will constantly be choosing which balls to catch, block, dodge, or throw, always watching for the kid with the fastest arm while searching for the best target of opportunity. In the end, it’s how you play the game that matters most. And, that, my friends depends on why you decide to play it that way...whether you’re thinking in System 1 or System 2.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Do you know what your Core Values are? Have you taken the time to define exactly what they mean? Do you have a story about how you've used your Core Values to make the hard right over the easier not-so-right decision? The other way? What did you learn from that experience?</b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Success-what-really-want-ebook/dp/B00QPHDQHG/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=&qid=" target="_blank">BUY THE BOOK!</a></span></b></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. <b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/about-tom-eakin.html" target="_blank">LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...</a></b></strong></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-43719832111685140642015-07-20T13:30:00.001-05:002015-07-21T17:45:50.582-05:00On Confidence, Conviction, and Finding Success<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">On Confidence, Conviction and Finding Success</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a U.S. Army Ranger-qualified Combat Engineer Officer, I learned how to find the confidence and conviction to do what it took to accomplish the mission even when it was really hard…<b>especially when it was really hard.</b></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Later, I applied what I’d learned in the corporate environment. I developed a values-based approach that helped my team increase performance by over 300% and was awarded at the highest level by my company. Two years later, I was fired. Even though I had proven my values-driven approach increased employee engagement, I was doing something others just weren’t ready to try to understand.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why Confidence Can Be Good</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></span></div>
<b id="docs-internal-guid-35c92e20-acae-d414-5e10-cfd86678b053" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0s_darCtytE/Va08atcNJdI/AAAAAAAAJ8Y/uLINXGagiKk/s1600/The%2BSituation-%2BPart%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="360" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0s_darCtytE/Va08atcNJdI/AAAAAAAAJ8Y/uLINXGagiKk/s400/The%2BSituation-%2BPart%2B1.png" width="400" /></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Decision-making is the most critical aspect of achieving success: A decision precedes every act. Everything we do leads to what we have, and will, become.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Confidence </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">comes from past successes and learning. Our experience teaches us we can be successful. We need confidence to make decisions in uncertain situations.</span></span></div>
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<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Problem with Confidence</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We have a tendency to become lazy in our confidence. Relying more on what experience has taught us and ignoring relevant facts can </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">trick </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">us into thinking that just because something worked in one situation, it will work in another. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My own confidence proved to be deceptive as I tried to expand my values-driven approach beyond my span of authority. </span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.3800000000000001; margin-bottom: 10pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Confidence can leave us without a solid foundation in times of failure. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If I only had confidence to rely on as I introduced my new concept to the world, I would have quit long ago.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Where Conviction Fits In</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Conviction comes from what you believe and </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">compels you to inspired action. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">While it was difficult for me to reconcile the organizational success I’d created with the personal result I’d reaped by getting fired, I believed in my new approach. I forged ahead. I </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">developed “GPS Theory” and launched BoomLife. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Conviction has driven me past the frustrating failures and entrepreneurial loneliness that come with creating something that is not yet commonly understood.</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Challenge with Conviction</span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s very easy to inappropriately apply conviction to the means instead of the end. </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I launched the “GPS Theory” application on my website, people didn’t interact with it as I had expected. If all of my conviction was focused on this tool I would have given up. Instead, I realized I needed to find different ways to present the concepts behind “GPS Theory” in order for others to recognize its real value. </span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hinFZ4nsud4/Va08v7rp4XI/AAAAAAAAJ8g/PKSgBhpKT7Y/s1600/The%2BSituation-%2BPart%2B2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hinFZ4nsud4/Va08v7rp4XI/AAAAAAAAJ8g/PKSgBhpKT7Y/s400/The%2BSituation-%2BPart%2B2.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">See what I did there?</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Find the Perfect Blend</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span></span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></b><br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Confidence and conviction are not mutually exclusive. You need confidence in what you’re doing, so you can repeat what works. You need conviction to compel you to keep moving forward even when things don’t go your way so you can find what works. You need to find the perfect blend to find values-driven success. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For more thought-provoking discussion on finding values-driven success, inspiring stories of people who’ve achieved it and strategies you can apply, read my new book, </span><a href="http://www.valuesdrivensuccess.com/" style="text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: blue; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Finding Success: Get what you really want</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #191919; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Have a story about a time when you may have had too much confidence for the situation? Too much conviction? Why not share your story in the comments section? Who knows...sharing your pain may spare someone else theirs.</b></span></span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1zTln0sJYo/U_869RoerCI/AAAAAAAAFV8/9Ufp8YrvfA0/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1zTln0sJYo/U_869RoerCI/AAAAAAAAFV8/9Ufp8YrvfA0/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" width="206" /></a></div>
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<b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Success-what-really-want-ebook/dp/B00QPHDQHG/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&sr=&qid=" target="_blank">BUY THE BOOK!</a></span></b></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. <b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/about-tom-eakin.html" target="_blank">LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...</a></b></strong></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-89169314269474303292015-07-13T18:04:00.000-05:002015-07-13T18:13:29.552-05:00Push for Growth<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oVVK4uFpnFY/VaRAk4h_6LI/AAAAAAAAJ6k/yaoFLKqzetQ/s1600/Push%2Bfor%2BGrowth.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-oVVK4uFpnFY/VaRAk4h_6LI/AAAAAAAAJ6k/yaoFLKqzetQ/s640/Push%2Bfor%2BGrowth.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">PUSH FOR GROWTH</span></h2>
<div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Is Growth for the Sake of
Growth What You Really Want?</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Leaders
everywhere are struggling to find the best way to satisfy customer needs while
maintaining a reliable, skilled, and engaged workforce. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I recently
met with Bill, a client of mine, and asked him this clarifying question, “Can
you tell me why you bought out three other companies in the past year and a
half?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Bill is the
owner, and president, of a service company he started 25 years ago. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> “That’s simple. To grow,” he replied.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“Why do you want
to grow?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">“Why not?
Growth is good.” He smiled at me in a patronizing way that indicated he wasn't sure why he'd hired someone who didn’t understand such a simple concept to help
his company.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> “Well,” I replied, “here’s the reality. Since
you started this growth campaign, two long-time key leaders who were
instrumental in the success you enjoyed in the decade and a half before you
decided to acquire these companies, have left. Two of your three remaining
top-level managers don't trust each other and are in constant conflict. Most
employees fear one and feel sorry for the other. They're burned out; many are
thinking of leaving and have resigned themselves to do what they need to
survive and nothing more. Finally, a large number of customers have closed their
accounts in the past six months. Let me ask you this, have the results of the changes
you’ve made met your expectations? Is this really what you planned to do?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Bill didn't respond
because he didn't like being asked those questions. I wouldn't either. But, we both knew the answer was, “No.” He was learning the hard lesson that growth for
the sake of growth is no more effective at helping you get what you want than punching
yourself in the face because you want to know what it feels like to punch
someone in the face. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Change is NOT Evil!</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Neither is
Bill. He really did want to make positive changes. He certainly got changes
just not the ones he really wanted. Successful
change happens for organizations because of one, or more, of the following
reasons:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Relationship Dynamics</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">- People connect with each other when
they see a net-positive value-proposition in doing so (intrinsic, extrinsic, or
a combination of both) and they adjust their level of investment according to
the value they get out of it in relation to their expectations.</span></li>
<li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Innovation</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">- Someone does something new and
different that creates the potential for a redistribution of one or more resources
in a given culture, community, or market.</span></li>
<li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Growth</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">- Someone seeks the prospect of
meeting the needs of more people than they have in the past.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 38.25pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The order of
the three points listed above is important… critical actually. There is a very
strong human tendency to want to cut around the process and get straight to the
good stuff. It’s easy to see that growth can lead to more mutually beneficial
relationships, more business. More business can mean more profits so that’s
where we think we want to focus. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The Change-Pull Effect</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">There are two
fundamental problems with trying to create growth for the sake of growth:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">It
undermines the ability to deliver a net-positive value for all key stakeholders
involved because it assumes no considerations are necessary to continue to meet
their needs before growth-focused action occurs.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">It
assumes innovative solutions that will redistribute resources in a mutually
beneficial manner for all stakeholders involved will just happen.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">So, in the
case of Bill’s company the desire for growth created different and new
behaviors (purchasing new companies with the prospect of serving more
customers) that resulted in a net-negative value delivered and over time the
various stakeholders engaged less at variable rates. Some key leaders and
customers divested completely while others adjusted how they related to each
other and the company.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Bill and his
company were experiencing problems caused by the “change-pull effect”. It
happened when Bill created a vacuum through self-serving changes in how his
company operated expecting everyone to adjust and fill in the gaps. It’s a
technique…not the recommended technique…but a technique, just the same. What
typically happens is: Growth pulls away from the innovation because the
affected stakeholders perceive they’re being excluded so they resist. They pull
back. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The whole
point is, real mutually beneficial relationships are magical- When one occurs,
every stakeholder involved walks away from interactions, transactions, and
situations feeling like they've gotten more out of it than they put in. See?
Magic. It’s the reason why you can’t
skip past the relationship dynamics; the magic will be lost.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">The
change-pull effect doesn't only happen during acquisitions; it can also happen
when an organization attempts to launch new products, new, services, new
customers, new locations…any time changes are made to grow for the self-serving
sake of growth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When You're at Risk</span></h4>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">The
best time to stop, listen and adjust is before you create negative pull-change
effects. In other words when this kind of conversation happens:</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><i>Any
employee-</i> “How-are-we-going-to…”</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><i>You</i>-
“We’ll figure it out.”<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><i>Any
employee</i>-“I just wish we'd think this through first.”</span></div>
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</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">The
second-best-time to adjust is as soon as possible after you’ve
created negative pull-change effects.
The conversation will probably sound like this:</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "Courier New"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Courier New";"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><i>Any
employee</i>- “Now that we've,
<<insert great="" here="" idea="" your="">>, how am I supposed to….?”</insert></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><insert great="" here="" idea="" your=""><br /></insert></span>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><i>You</i>-
“You’ll figure it out” (See what you did there? Your employee does.)<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><i>Any
employee</i>- “OK, I'll do my best but I just wish we’d thought this through
first!” </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">(<i>Thinks to self: “In the end, I'll have fixed the problems they created and they'll get all the credit. Maybe
this isn’t the best place for me.”)</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The Solution: Create Push-Change
Effects</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The solution
for Bill, and people who have created similar punishing change-pull effects in
their own organizations is…more change. But, here the change must begin with
them. They need to change how they think so they can create positive
push-change effects for their key stakeholders which will create opportunities
for growth. Here’s how they can do it:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Focus
on the needs of the people they wish to serve and seek to understand the gaps
between those desires and the value the organization can currently deliver.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Closing
the gaps identified in #1 takes innovation- new and different decisions,
behaviors, tools and processes. When innovation creates more efficient use of
resources the capacity to serve is increased and the conditions for
successfully meeting the needs of more people are set.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Grow
by seeking new mutually beneficial relationships and then reap the additional
profits.</span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">The solution may
seem like it takes longer to get what you really want than just seeking growth
for the sake of growth…because growth is good. But, it doesn’t. Just ask Bill. He’s
got a lot of work to do now…relationships to mend.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>Have you experienced the Change-Pull Effect before? Share your story and what you learned from the experience in the comment section below! Be a part of the conversation!</b></span></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1zTln0sJYo/U_869RoerCI/AAAAAAAAFV8/9Ufp8YrvfA0/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1zTln0sJYo/U_869RoerCI/AAAAAAAAFV8/9Ufp8YrvfA0/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" style="cursor: move;" width="206" /></a></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. <b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/about-tom-eakin.html" target="_blank">LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...</a></b></strong></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-32388686493783426932015-06-01T09:00:00.000-05:002015-06-03T17:10:25.089-05:00The Math Behind Integrity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MjFywgyZ8R4/VW97Q4f30GI/AAAAAAAAJns/KAATQRf5JgE/s1600/Integrity%2BDo%2BThe%2BMath-%2Bcropped.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="246" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MjFywgyZ8R4/VW97Q4f30GI/AAAAAAAAJns/KAATQRf5JgE/s640/Integrity%2BDo%2BThe%2BMath-%2Bcropped.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 28px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<br /></h3>
<h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 28px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
How Value Propositions Really Work in Relationships and Success</h3>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
When I was a kid, my parents always told me integrity is "doing what you say you will do." </div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
When I was in basic training, I remember the Drill Sergeants insisting integrity is "doing the right thing, even when nobody is watching." I'd ponder this sentiment as my cohorts and I stared down at the puddles of sweat forming below while we collectively did push-ups in penance the impudent act one of our own committed.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Neither definition is wrong. But, I've always believed both left some important questions unanswered, like:</div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Do I really know the <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">right</em> thing to do in every situation?</span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Do I even know <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">why </em>it's the right thing to do?</span></li>
</ul>
<h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What the <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #96999c; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Dictionary</a> tells us:</span></h4>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #96999c; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Integrity</a> (<a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #96999c; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">noun</a>)</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
1. adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character, honesty</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
2. the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
3. a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition</div>
<h3 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What does it mean?</span></h3>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
It's simple: The only way to have integrity, to achieve a state of being whole, is to consistently personify each of your values (a.k.a. virtuous, "moral and ethical principles").</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Think of your values as pieces of a puzzle and <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"of your life as a puzzle. </em></span><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">You create and form the pieces that fit together to create the whole. If you don’t give each piece the attention it needs, it just won't fit into the others. You may have the pieces, you may understand that you need them, but because they don't fit, they leave empty spaces in your life until you give them the needed attention." (From <a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #96999c; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;" target="_blank">Finding Success</a>)</em></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
The point is, every human being knows who they really want to be. That ideal person is defined by a specific set of values, each of which have meaning and together make up a potentially integrated whole.</div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">In any situation, when our decisions and actions are focused on personifying each of our values integrity is sustained regardless of the results. </span></div>
<h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Our Biggest Challenge</span></h4>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The external results we seek have a tendency to distract, or divide, our thoughts, decisions, and actions from our values. When that happens, we cannot have integrity because the person we really want to be, is compromised, the whole becomes disintegrated to some extent.</span></div>
<h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The Simple Solution: Expand Your Definition of Success</span></h4>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Expand your definition of success.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">When making a decision, always remember that there is a difference between success and values-driven success.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Success is getting what you want (desired external results).</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Values-driven success is getting what you want and being the person you want to be. Here's the catch, you can't really get what you want if you are not first the person you want to be.</span></div>
<h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
The Problem Begins With the Least-Best Question</h4>
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Our problem with integrity happens when we ask ourselves, "How can I get what I want?"</div>
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The question, itself, directs us away from the direct path to the person we really want to be. It begins to divide our thoughts, decisions and actions from the words we would love others to use to describe us. It creates the least amount of value for us, especially in our relationships with others.</div>
<h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">The Best Question </span></h4>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"How can I get what I want and be the person I want to be?"</span></div>
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The secret sauce is to consistently choose to do things that reflect every one of our values. I call it Values-Driven Thinking. Add a dab to every decision and the results will taste much better.</div>
<h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Why Values-Driven Thinking is So Critically Important</span></h4>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Values-Driven Thinking helps us to consistently prioritize values over results: the person we want to be is more important than the things we think we want to get.</span></li>
<ul style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style: disc; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Potential results (rewards or punishments) either motivate or coerce.</span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Values inspire!</span></li>
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<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Values-Driven Thinking provides an indestructible foundation from which we can always build.</span></li>
<ul style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style: disc; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Conviction will drive us to keep working at getting the results we want. Getting what we want, in and of itself, is not the problem. </span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Results are temporary and can be changed if we keep trying.</span></li>
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<h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What the Math Looks Like</span></h4>
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<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><img alt="" class="center" data-loading-tracked="true" height="292" src="https://media.licdn.com/mpr/mpr/shrinknp_750_750/AAEAAQAAAAAAAAJrAAAAJDBlNTY4YTZiLTA3Y2UtNDYwZC1hMDEwLTFlNjE2YTYzN2MyYQ.png" style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; display: block; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; height: auto; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px auto 15px; max-width: 100%; padding: 0px; text-align: center; vertical-align: baseline;" width="588" /></span></div>
<h4 style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; font-stretch: inherit; font-weight: normal; line-height: 26px; margin: 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Let's break down the equation:</span></h4>
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<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Words </strong><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">= The words you want people to use to describe you and the actions you take; your values and the "moral and ethical principles" they represent. These words represent the value proposition you promise.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Acts</strong> = The things you do. How you create and deliver value for yourself and the people who are important to your success.</span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Nothing </strong>= </span>Zero distracted thoughts + Zero divisive decisions = Zero compromising actions.</div>
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You cannot be "whole, entire, or undiminished" if <em style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">anything</em> divides your values from your actions. People see the gaps between the value proposition you promised them and the value you deliver. So can you, my friend, let's be honest. You're not hiding anything from anyone.</div>
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It Appears We Need To Be Perfect. That's impossible!</h4>
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It truly is impossible. So, let's look at the solution to this problem in terms of whole and partial numbers. Math has a solution for less-than-whole numbers- it's called the decimal.</div>
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If perfection = 1, then any solution less than perfection is a part of one. So, we may be 0.82, 0.25, or even 0.98 of the person we really want to be.</div>
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The question is, could we even round-up to get to 1 from where we are today? And, how far is the distance between the person we are and the whole definition of who we want to be? </div>
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Don't get confounded. The important question here isn't, "How can I be perfect?" That question has way too many rabbit holes. The critical questions are:</div>
<ul style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"How close am I to the whole? How far away from 1? </li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">That question leads to to the next, "What do I need to do now that I know I'm not equal to 1?"</li>
</ul>
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Rounding-up is a neat trick, but it's not the solution you really want.</div>
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How to Make the Math Work</h4>
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Nobody is perfect. Perfection is not possible. But, we can keep driving toward it.</div>
<ol style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Identify and define your own values. </span>Answer this question:</li>
<ul style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style: disc; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What words do I want to use people to use to describe me and my actions?</span></li>
</ul>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Ask yourself the one question that will lead you toward values-driven success:</span></li>
<ul style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style: disc; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How can I get what I want and be the person I want to be?</span></li>
</ul>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Check your math afterword:</span></li>
<ul style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; list-style: disc; margin: 0px 0px 30px 40px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Did I get what I want?</span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Was I the person I want to be?</span></li>
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<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">This answer tells you if anything divided your words from their actions.</span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Can you round-up to get to 1 and what </span>is the value of the gap?</li>
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</ul>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Make incremental changes. Remember, nobody's perfect and it's a journey. So, when you recognize the gaps, make a plan for the future. Don't beat yourself up. Look ahead. Ask the question.</span></li>
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<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What can I do differently next time to get both?</span></li>
<li style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">How can I decrease the gap between me today and 1?</span></li>
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<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Do you believe others recognize can gaps between the value propositions you promise and the value you create and deliver? If so, do you think it helps or hinders your relationships with them?</strong></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">What does "driving toward perfection" mean to you?</strong></div>
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<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Can you close the gap without assistance and guidance from other people?</strong></span></div>
<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; color: #4d4f51; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 30px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">Become a part of the conversation! Share your thoughts and responses to these questions! Or, maybe there's something I've missed here, you can help me become a better communicator.</strong></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">BUY THE BOOK!</a></span></b></td></tr>
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<span style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; font-weight: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><strong style="border: 0px; box-sizing: border-box; font-family: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. <b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/about-tom-eakin.html" target="_blank">LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...</a></b></strong></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-54659473374777116892015-05-29T14:50:00.004-05:002015-09-04T11:17:53.784-05:00Why People Give More and Why They Don't- A Love Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGAxm3RMPJY-tX74F4f-5yM9TNAWUEIYKVQi-nk0Ok3Is15c9ezpazKjEMvooXsVBOm69ClwOggays2hC0t7St-u-Fn8bCkq3HxAlVgwduSYOnP61wiDX49PTzo6ih0TsX0QUES5Da741x/s1600/I+LOVE+working+with+You.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="281" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGAxm3RMPJY-tX74F4f-5yM9TNAWUEIYKVQi-nk0Ok3Is15c9ezpazKjEMvooXsVBOm69ClwOggays2hC0t7St-u-Fn8bCkq3HxAlVgwduSYOnP61wiDX49PTzo6ih0TsX0QUES5Da741x/s640/I+LOVE+working+with+You.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I Searched for a Decade for an Answer to This Question</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a Ranger and Combat Engineer Officer, I learned how to make values-based decisions every day…even when it was really hard…especially when it was really hard. In that culture, success absolutely depended on relationships and trust.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Later, I learned that success in the corporate culture was often limited by the desires of the individual and for years my frustration with that attitude drove me to seek a solution. If I had a dollar for every relationship I messed up trying different things...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I didn't realize it at the time, but I was constantly asking this question, "Why were the soldiers I served with so much more willing to give such tremendous effort and serve so selflessly when so many of my corporate colleagues who were making so much more money were just putting in their time?"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Answer Finally Came to Me In a Book</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In 2012, I read a story in the book, <a href="http://www.kellykennedy.net/TheyFought.html" target="_blank"><i>They Fought for Each Other</i>,</a> by <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pub/kelly-kennedy/3/230/507" target="_blank">Kelly Kennedy</a>, and I was soon able to put all of the pieces of the values-based system that had been floating around in my head for years. It was a true</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> story about a soldier named </span><a href="http://www.army.mil/medalofhonor/mcginnis/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Ross McGinnis</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> who saved the lives of his friends by purposefully blocking them from the blast of a grenade that was inside their vehicle. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I later analyzed a part of McGinniss' story in <a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">my own book</a> as an example of someone who finds inspired values-driven success.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Kennedy is so genuine in telling the stories of McGinness and his brothers in Charlie company as they help each other live through a series of devastating experiences that I'll leave the details to hear. I highly recommend her book. If we want to grow as human beings, we need to read stories like this one, stories about real human beings that break our hearts while reminding us of the spirit that drives people to do incredible things.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every soldier wonders if they'll do what it takes to do what their friends need them to do when it matter most…especially when it’s really hard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If You're Struggling With Following Me So Far, Here's Why</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People have asked me many times, “How can such a tragic story possibly illustrate the real meaning of success? He was killed! Nobody wants that!” And, they wonder, "What does a story about soldiers have to do with success in business, anyway?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I get it. It doesn't appear to be a very good example. But appearances can be deceiving.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, I reply, "Think. What words would you use to describe Ross’ actions?"<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They invariably use words like Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/math-behind-integrity-tom-eakin" target="_blank">Integrity</a>, and Personal Courage (These words, by the way, are U.S. Army Core Values) and others like them. I hear words which any human being would want others to use to describe them even more than they'd like to hear themselves defined by their job title, the company they work for, how much money and power they have, the car they drive, the clothes they wear, etc. You know, all the things that appear to be measurements of success in our culture. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, the reason why Ross did what he did was much more significant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why Did He Do It?</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What Ross McGinnis sacrificed his life for was LOVE. You see, every virtuous value leads back to Love.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ross saw the grenade go into the Humvee. He tried to keep it from getting in. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He could have jumped out immediately after alerting everyone. He’d done his duty, right?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But, McGinnis recognized that no one inside the vehicle saw the grenade, they didn't immediately react after he screamed, "Grenade!", and he saw it sitting right in the middle of four people he couldn’t imagine the world without: These were people he Loved.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ross knew in that split second what he was willing to live the rest of his life for.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The fact that the rest of his life lasted only a split second longer isn't the point. He made a choice to live for LOVE and in his critical moment, Ross McGinnis gave four lifetimes worth of it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love reminded him of his loyalty and his duty and gave him an overwhelming respect for the lives of others. Love compelled him to serve selflessly and on the honorable path.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love provided integrity within his decisions and actions and created the personal courage Ross needed to face the consequences of his dilemma.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In Case You're Still Not Convinced</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Think about it this way: What if Ross had made the different choice? What would the rest of his life had been like? Would he have considered himself a success if he'd jumped out knowing he could have done something to save his four friends? Would he have gotten what he really wanted?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ross McGinnis believed in what he was doing, he was satisfied with his actions. He died, and it's tragic. But, he died with Love in his heart. His example is truly one of values-driven success.His is a story about Love- A Love Story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What Does This Mean in the "Real" World?</span></h4>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We are each faced with dilemmas great and small every day and fail to recognize the <b>opportunity</b> to create value by being vulnerable.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After I read Kennedy's book, I realized what is lacking in corporate cultures where success is limited so much by the desires of the individual- Real relationships based on trust. The reason so many employees are not engaged is because nobody has given them reason to care about anybody else but themselves. What they get from the organization, their leadership and their colleagues is relegated to a transactional level, so they reciprocate.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In other words: If people don't feel the Love, why would they fight for you? Not all Love stories have happy endings. Some are tragic. Some leave you longing for something more.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Still, people say, "But, McGinnis' story is about war where lives are at risk! It's not like that in the "real" world!"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Really? Are you going to tell me finding meaningful success in your personal and professional life doesn't depend on doing what you Love with people you Love? Do you really believe you can do it without authentic relationships? Without trust? Without Love? Isn't it always relationships in which trust and Love do not exist that lead to war in the "real" world?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I promise you this, my friend, your life absolutely depends on it! And, your stake in it grows exponentially with every person you genuinely care about. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Think about it. If I haven't convince you by now, don't bother reading the next section. It won't help you. I wish you well.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I Want to Share This Simple but Amazing "Trick"</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Success is getting what you want (<a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/success" target="_blank">Look it up</a>, see if come to the same conclusion as me). I'm not satisfied with that definition and you shouldn't be either! Something very important is missing!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s really hard to always know the right thing to do in every situation especially with such an incomplete definition of success, so here’s a simple "trick" that will always help you: Expand your definition of success. I call the expanded version, "Values-driven success".</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Values-driven success is getting what you want </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> being the person you want to be. Here’s the catch, you can’t get what you </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">really</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> want, if you are not first the person you want to be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Actually, it's not a trick, at all. It's a clear and logical way of thinking and acting. So, if you use it, you'll actually be clearing away all of the crap that has been limiting your success. You limit your success with confounded thought process that makes things (money, power, position, etc.) the main characters in your Love story. Are they really the reason why you're here?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>If You Want to Lead Anyone...Anyone at All, You Need a System</b></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The practice of values-driven success is scalable and can work in any cultural context if you know how to build a system for communication, measurement, and continuous improvement. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Build that system and you can begin to build trust. Eventually, people will Love working with you. Think about it this way. I told you Ross' story and explained why he did it. The truth of the matter is, that story is as much about the other guys, the people he saved. He did it because he felt Love for them...which means up until that critical moment they did things that caused him to trust them...to Love them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once you've given people a reason to engage and satisfied the conditions for Trust and Love, they will lead you to your greatest opportunities for growth. There's just no telling how much value you'll get from the Love they'll give because of what you give them!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How will your Love stories end?</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will people will do amazing things because what they value aligns with what you need them to do?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will your staff give the effort you need them to?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will your board focus and lead the way you need them to?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will your customers and members give what you need to fund your efforts to help more people?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Do you know why they will or won't?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It all starts and ends with Love.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm interested in your thoughts and insights. Why not give some Love and share them in the comments section below? And, remember, Love doesn't always mean agreement. If you disagree with anything I've shared here, I'd Love to hear your logic and reasons.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">BUY THE BOOK!</a></span></b></td></tr>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. <b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/about-tom-eakin.html" target="_blank">LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...</a></b></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="http://www.iauthor.uk.com/chapter/:11174" target="_blank"><b>READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER </b><b style="line-height: 21px;">FROM T</b><b>HE BOOK</b></a></span></div>
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-15136657452859730402015-05-02T12:46:00.000-05:002015-05-06T05:56:31.477-05:00Three Books Every Graduate Should Read<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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It's that time of year. A point in the lives of people of all ages who are getting ready to graduate. So you're thinking, "What should I give them? There's always cash. But, isn't there something else that would be of more value to them?" </div>
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The answer is, yes. </div>
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Here is a guide to a few gifts that provide powerful tools every graduate on your list can use. I've made it even easier by helping you decide which of these books would be the best gift for the graduate you're thinking about.</div>
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<b id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_4357"><span id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_4356" style="font-size: large;">There are three kinds of graduates:</span></b></h3>
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<b id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3032">1. The Completely Confident.</b></h4>
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They have a plan, they know what they want to do, and what they will do next. You know who I'm talking about, the students who were active in clubs and student leadership while in school. They're excited about moving on to the next step! </div>
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Now, as this graduate leaves the networks that have helped them gain success in their academic endeavors, they're going to re-structure their network to fit their future needs. </div>
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This graduates need to develop or expand their network so they can make connections with the people who will help them. </div>
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<i id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3265"><b id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3264"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Ties-that-Bind-Networking/dp/098551339X/" target="_blank">The Ties That Bind: Networking With Style</a></b></i>, by networking expert, <a href="http://www.dannybeyer.com/" target="_blank">Danny Beyer</a> is a great gift for the graduate on your list who fits this description. It is the consummate guide to networking. Whether your graduate is new at it, or a seasoned connector, they'll learn something new and significant!</div>
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<b><i id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3851">Q: How can I know which graduate on my list needs this book?</i> </b></div>
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<i id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_4376"><b>A:</b> Don't worry, their parents will be bragging about them. There's your sign.</i></div>
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<b id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3048">2. The Confidently Confounded.</b> </h4>
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They have a plan and they think they know what they want to do, but they're not quite sure. </div>
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There is a little voice inside them that keeps asking whether they've chosen the career path that's right for them. That little voice is a signal. They will probably end up taking a job, "Just to get started out," and then a few years later may find themselves stuck. That voice is actually confirming what they already know, They sense their plan isn't refined enough to get them where they really want to go...unless they're lucky (and some people are), but they don't know exactly how to change that.</div>
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It's OK to take that first job to make ends meet, the key is to avoid getting stuck.</div>
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This graduate needs a refined plan. So, when they take that first job so they can systematically plan exactly what they need to do, over time, so they can work toward what they really want to do. </div>
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<b id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3517"><i id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3735"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Cracking-Career-Code-Tom-Henricksen/dp/0986241628/" target="_blank">Cracking the Career Code</a></i></b> provides the structure this graduate will need to assess, plan, and implement, so they find satisfaction in life. <a href="http://myitcareercoach.com/about-me/" target="_blank">Tom Henricksen</a> is the career planning expert who wrote this book to share his system.</div>
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<b><i id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3889">Q: </i><i id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3851">How can I know which graduate on my list needs this book?</i> </b></div>
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<i id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3905"><b>A:</b> When you ask them, "What's next?" Look in their eyes. Listen to their language. If they kind of have that, "I'm good, thanks," attitude but they also look like a deer blinded by headlights and they use words like, "hopefully" a lot, you'll know.</i></div>
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<b id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3459">3. The Completely Confounded.</b> </h4>
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They're simply overwhelmed by the changes that are right in their face. They don't have a plan, they don't have a useful network, and they're scared to death, right now. Others, especially their parents, are really concerned about them and wonder if they're even capable of stepping out into the great unknown. </div>
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This graduates is capable, I can assure you of that. They need to find conviction. They don't know what they value and because of that, they don't know what career path will align best with the person they really want to be. </div>
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The truth is, right now, they think they need to figure everything out all at once. They can't wrap their minds around the fact that they don't need to. </div>
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Why not?</div>
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Because, right now, success is being measured, for them and their peers, by the strength of their plan. Everybody is shaking their hand, slapping them on the back and congratulating them on accomplishing this milestone. These well-wishers are also asking, "What's your plan?" </div>
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It feels like their entire future...their whole life...is staring them in the face. Scary stuff. Especially when their friends and peers have answers! I know this...I've been there. </div>
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<i id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3719"><b id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3718"><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Success-what-really-want/dp/0985513381/" target="_blank">Finding Success: Get What You Really Want</a></b></i> can help people define their own destination: the person they really want to be. Without a destination, it doesn't matter how you get there, right? In other words, if you don't want to go through life with "no more control" over your "direction than a paper airplane has over its flight path," figure out who you want to be so you can do things that will make you that person. </div>
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Help the graduates you know make decisions and take actions that align with what they truly value at their core.</div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><b><a href="http://www.iauthor.uk.com/chapter/:11174" target="_blank">READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER</a> from <i>Finding Success</i></b></span></div>
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<i class="yiv3983166514" id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3889"><b>Q: </b></i><b><i id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3851">How can I know which graduate on my list needs this book?</i></b></div>
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<i class="yiv3983166514" id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3905"><b>A:</b> Again, their parents will let you know. They'll say things like, "I just know know what he's going to do," or, "We told him he's going to have to figure it out because he's not staying with us," or "It's like he doesn't know what's about to happen." The graduate, might even tell you. Too easy.</i></div>
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<i class="yiv3983166514"><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;"><span style="font-size: large;">A Question for You</span></span></i></div>
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<i class="yiv3983166514"><span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: bold;">When you made a major life-transition like graduating from high school or college, what resources do you wish you had available to help you get where you really want to be without so much pain? </span></i></div>
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<i class="yiv3983166514"><span style="font-style: normal;">I'd love to hear your story. Please share it in the comments section, below!</span></i></div>
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<b id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3748"><span style="font-size: large;">Final Thought.</span></b></h3>
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Is it possible<b id="yiv3983166514yui_3_16_0_1_1430481541973_3947"> </b>all three categories of graduates could use all three books? The world changes. People change their minds. Unexpected things happen. The resources available to a person dealing with major life changes can make a world of difference.</div>
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If you were thinking about giving them a $50 bill, here's an opportunity to spend about the same amount and provide something much more valuable.</div>
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Here are your options:</div>
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<li style="text-align: left;">Cover a tiny fraction of your graduate's college tuition, or maybe their electric bill for about a month if they're entering the workforce. </li>
<li style="text-align: left;">Add significant values to their life and their livelihood with a powerful toolbox consisting of these three books which are chock full of the kind of help they'll need.</li>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" height="200" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. <b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/about-tom-eakin.html" target="_blank">LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...</a></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-67959258862173401682015-04-30T12:08:00.000-05:002015-08-17T12:46:24.047-05:00Don't Be Confused About Why People Leave<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wW2J0amYzkI/VUJYarN1ztI/AAAAAAAAJN0/GtD1SpPMBwg/s1600/See%2BWhat%2BYou%2BNeed%2Bto%2BSee.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="276" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wW2J0amYzkI/VUJYarN1ztI/AAAAAAAAJN0/GtD1SpPMBwg/s1600/See%2BWhat%2BYou%2BNeed%2Bto%2BSee.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you have key employees who, if you lost them, would leave such a hole in your company or team that you're not sure you could ever fill it? Do you know what would make them want to stay with you? Do you know the real reason about why they might leave?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A friend of mine started working for a startup company a few years ago. She managed the operation as the company grew from less than 50 employees to over 200. It's easy to see that she's been critical to the company's growth and financial success. She recently gave her boss two week's notice. She accepted another job and took a large pay cut. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Awesomeness...and the Confusion </span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First, I'm happy for her because she found the courage to make this difficult decision. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She had to conquer her fear that she and her husband would not be able to make ends meet. In the end, they decided the most important influencing factor was her satisfaction in the work she was doing. I want to celebrate their level of faith that fulfilling the human spirit is more important than filling the bank account. You see, they recognize they have a challenging money problem. They also recognize they're capable of finding solutions. <b>BOOM!! </b>(picture a fist bump explosion here)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the other hand, I also know her boss. He's confused and never saw it coming. Why did she leave? He's concerned about how he's going to make things work, although he won't admit it. I can hear it in his voice. Meanwhile, he's doing what entrepreneurs have a tendency to do, focusing on the best solution to this complex problem. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My concern for him is this: I'm quite sure he recognized the opportunity that's been lost for him and his company. The future value of the value she'd helped him create in just a few short years instantly turned to zero.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In his rush to fill the vacuum, has he taken the time to understand <b><u>why</u></b> that opportunity was lost and how he could have seen it coming? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Was it About the Money?</span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When she was hire, in the early days of the company, he pitched her a value-proposition that looked like this: "I can't pay you very much right now. But, if you help me grow this company, your compensation could more than double in the next few years."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He gave her a few small raises along the way. He provided a few perks and she appreciated them. But, as the Company realized the success he envisioned, the ratio between the rewards he promised in relation to the growth and the rewards he provided were miles apart.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's easy to think this means it was about the money. But, actually, it wasn't. She heard that initial value-proposition, she bought into it, she delivered what she promised. He delivered part of it. But, it was easy for her to see the gap and it caused her to wonder if she could trust him, especially while she watched him spend money on things the company didn't really need</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, money was a part of the problem, but not the real root cause. It was trust. He offered her more money the minute she told him she was leaving. She turned his offer down. Nobody who takes a job that pays them less money than they're currently making does it because of the money.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Other Key Factors</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My two friends think in different ways. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She knows that you can't make everyone happy so the best you can do is build a structure that creates accountability and be consistent so that people can be satisfied that they are being treated as fairly as is reasonably possible. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He wants everyone to be happy and have fun at work. He thinks the way to do that is not create cumbersome rules and structure.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She values the personal relationship and puts it in front of the transaction.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He values the things success brings and prioritizes the transaction over the relationship.</span></div>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's how things went down:</span></h4>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She quickly became dissatisfied when he didn't allow her to create a structure with which she could lead the staff and hold them accountable.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He became dissatisfied any time he recognized a gap between the things the employees on their staff did and his definition of acceptable professional behavior...a definition that was never documented and never fully communicated.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Her dissatisfaction turned to frustration as she watched his emotional reactions and suggested solutions which he rejected.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">His dissatisfaction turned to frustration as he failed to solve the same problems over and over again.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As he continued to react to situations based on emotions, he never felt he could trust his employees.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Employees became confused about what they were supposed to be doing because no clear expectations were ever given. A lot of turnover in the staff resulted.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She became frustrated in her efforts to create the kind of high-performance work environment he said he wanted, and she knew how to deliver, because he wouldn't allow her to create the structure needed. So, she lost trust that she would be able to lead in his company the way she envisioned she could.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She worked extremely long hours through the growth, the turnover, the shortage of resources, and her personal need to fulfill her responsibilities. No matter how many unplanned problems she had to help solve throughout the day, employees still needed to get their paychecks, invoices still needed to be created and sent to customers, the bills needed to be paid. She arrived at six thirty and often worked until ten at night for weeks and months at a time. He worked a normal work day.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He failed to recognize the gap between the value-proposition he promised and what he delivered. The loss of trust weakened the connection for her.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He failed to help her be the leader she really wanted to be. His lack of trust in her abilities further strained the connection.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He failed to recognize her efforts and to reward them in meaningful ways. It's important to say, "You're doing a great job," but there comes a point where that's just not enough. She felt her efforts were unnoticed, under-valued, and unappreciated. One day she asked herself, "Why should I continue doing this?" The love was lost.</span></li>
</ul>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Could He Have Prevented it?</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The simple answer is, yes. But only if he'd seen it coming. </span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Could He Have Seen it Coming?</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Again, yes. But, only if he was looking...and listening...only if he valued his relationships with all of his key stakeholders more than the transactions that created wealth for his company...only if he were willing and able to measure the strength of the relationship as much as he measured the bottom line.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Business success is based on the value of the transaction. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The transaction only happens if the relationship is seen as mutually beneficial by all involved. So, which is more important? The transaction or the relationship? Which one sets the conditions for success for the other?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know you're smart. You know the real answer.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How to Create Mutually Beneficial Relationships</span></h3>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Create Connection- Strengthen the attraction!</b></span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Define your value-propositions with every key stakeholder so expectations are in alignment on all sides.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Employees as well as customers as well as vendors....</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Create Trust- Strengthen the bonds of connection!</b></span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Build the structure that creates accountability.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Engage key stakeholders so they can help you identify your greatest opportunities for Innovation, Growth, and Profits.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">See what they see.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Listen!</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Create Love- Help them to love working for you!</b></span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Deliver what is promised. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Be honest when you can't and about why.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Show you're willing to do the work to fill the gap.</span></li>
</ul>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I use a system I call GPS Theory to create meaningful and lasting mutually beneficial relationships. The system is </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">based on the principles of Connection, Trust, and Love and</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> has allowed me to expand my definition of success so I can create values-driven success for the people with whom I love to spend my personal and professional time! The magic happens for me because I create if for others. I'm able to create if for other <u>because</u> they help me see what I need to see instead of what I want to see. This helps me actually meet their needs instead of trying to convince them that what I'm giving them does. It works in every personal, professional, and organizational situation. My clients see it this way too!</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>How do you ensure you're creating mutually beneficial relationships based on Connection, Trust, and Love? </b></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My friend, Peter Beaumont, from ConnXN, and author of <i><a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Relationship-Roadmap-Professional-Strategically/dp/1492140732/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top?ie=UTF8" target="_blank">The Relationship Roadmap</a></i>, just published an article on building trust with customers. He's a relationship expert so <a href="http://connxn.net/customer-service/7-ways-to-build-customer-trust/" target="_blank">you may want to check it out.</a></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">BUY THE BOOK!</a></span></b></td></tr>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. <b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/about-tom-eakin.html" target="_blank">LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...</a></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-45051706255089685732015-04-10T16:25:00.002-05:002015-04-15T15:13:14.065-05:00What's Your Cultural Problem?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ozGQ7VG0ovw/VSg1DKSiSEI/AAAAAAAAJB4/7mR_ekbE3tE/s1600/Whats%2Byour%2Bcultural%2Bproblem.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ozGQ7VG0ovw/VSg1DKSiSEI/AAAAAAAAJB4/7mR_ekbE3tE/s1600/Whats%2Byour%2Bcultural%2Bproblem.png" height="348" width="640" /></a></div>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></h2>
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">WHAT'S YOUR CULTURAL PROBLEM?</span></h2>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We read and hear about it all the time, "experts" and "normal" people, alike, explaining the cause of an important issue as a "cultural problem". You hear it on the news, on the bus, at the coffee clutch, the classroom, the board room, the family kitchen. You read about it in books, newspaper and magazine articles and, yes...on blogs. Just scroll through the results of a culture-related search engine query and you'll find some of the most talked about issues of our times in the results. For example, search </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"<a href="https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=it%27s+a+cultural+problem" target="_blank">It's a </a><a href="https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=it%27s+a+cultural+problem" target="_blank">Cultural Problem</a>" or </span><a href="https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=it%27s+a+cultural+issue" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">"It's a Cultural Issue"</a> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and you'll find myriad communications on:</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Bullying and Hazing, Family Life, Gender Equality, Addiction, Education, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Religion, War, Race and Ethnicity Differences, and Workplace Issues like Employee Engagement, Environmental Safety, Employee Safety, Product Quality, Product Safety, Customer Relationships, and Leadership, to name a few.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, we are all aware and able to identify that culture is at the core of the greatest problems of our times. The solution is simple, isn't it? Fix the culture and you fix the problems. Easy. Right?</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is a Culture?</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Here's the definition:</b> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Culture is the shared and learned way of thinking and acting among a group of people within a specific organizational context.</span><br />
<div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Culture- It's Not As Simple As It Seems</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Culture is everywhere. Each one of us operates within multiple cultural contexts. Even what appears to be a clear-cut context such as a company culture isn't really what is seems. The truth is, the culture is divided by sub-cultures, both formal and informal.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let me illustrate: </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Both Company and Family Cultures are divided into sub-cultures because of differences in thinking created by </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Five Factors of Cultural Influence:</b></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Proximity</b>- Location-specific thinking.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Different company facilities, divisions, and departments in different locations have a high-risk of identifying and translating different meanings of values based on the influences the people have on each other because of the strength of their exposure to one another. It's that whole "you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with" thing.</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Functional</b>- Process-specific thinking.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The process one group in a given location follows to create value (intrinsic and extrinsic) can affect how they perceive different key value-propositions.</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Resource</b>- Constraint-based thinking.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The uneven distribution and limited availability of important resources (Time, Materials, Equipment/Tools, and People (Skills, Expertise, Leadership) between different locations and functional areas can create different views on values-based principles like:</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Internal safety and security</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">External safety and security</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Quality</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Efficiency and Profitability</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Expertise</b>- Experiential-driven thinking.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Each individual's unique combination of age, level of education and training, and amount of experience can skew how they perceive values and how they should be applied in different situations.</span></li>
</ul>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><strong>Position</strong>- Authority-driven thinking</span><ul style="list-style-type: disc; margin-bottom: 30px; margin-left: 40px;">
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How leaders exercise the authority in their areas of responsibility and the power their position provides will influence how employees think and act.</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Appropriate uses of authority and power will influence others to engage and exercise their creativity.</span></li>
<li style="margin-bottom: 5px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Inappropriate uses will influence others to disengage out of fear of punishment. </span></li>
</ul>
</li>
<ul>
</ul>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Each of these influencing factors can play a role in any given context and definitely affects the quality of the culture whithin which it exists</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. Cultural issues can be enormously complex if we don't take a systematic approach at solving them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our human tendency is to allow our Expertise to drive our decisions which, in and of itself, is not enough.</span></div>
</div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Common Denominators</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are three common denominators in the influencing factors associated with cultural complexity: Values, People, and Relationships.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Potentially Simple Solution to Cultural Issues</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Create a consistent definition, and understanding of the definition of values and value-propositions for your people across all locations, functions and levels of expertise within the company-level context. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Create a culture where thinking and actions are focused on </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">using expertise, resources, and functional capabilities to identify and implement innovative solutions that contribute to your purpose and mission.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In other words: Align people on values. Get them to use those values are the primary drivers for decisions, actions and behaviors and you'll et the conditions for creating meaninful and lasting mutually-beneficial relationships.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've said it before: <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/12/create-magic-for-every-stakeholder.html" target="_blank">Mutually beneficial relationships are magical!</a> Why? Because, when they occur, e</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">very stakeholder involved walks away from the situation feeling like they got more out than they put in. </span></div>
<div>
<ul><ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The desire to make a connection and stay connected is reinforced. The kinds of employees and customers you need to be successful will be attracted to you.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Trust is created through a history of shared positive outcomes. Be consistent and reliable and they will come to you when they really need help.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The willingness, or conviction, to transcend conflict is strengthened when the highest form of love is achieved in a relationship. You may recognize this concept. It's what you mean when you say things about wanting people to, "Go above and beyond," "Go the extra mile," "Take the extra step," "Hit it out of the park." It's what you're talking about when you say your highest performing, most loyal team member has "An intangible quality." It only happens if the bonds of connection and trust are created and consistently reinforced.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How to Solve A Cultural Problem</span></h3>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. <a href="https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-bFLXgVLTccLVRVQUZaVnBwakE&authuser=0" target="_blank">Define Your Company Culture</a>- The culture you really want.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Identify and define the problem.</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Identify <b>WHAT</b> value-propositions are not being fulfilled and <b>WHEN</b>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Identify <b>WHAT</b> Influencing Factors are involved and <b>WHERE</b> (It could be one...it could be all of them).</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Identify <b>WHO</b> is not fulfilling those value-propositions.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Identify <b>WHY</b> they are not fulfilling them. The answer will fall under one, or both, of these two categories:</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u>Capability</u>- Identify the conflict, or gap, between process, resource constraint, or experiential situations at the locations involved and the expectation.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u>Will</u>- Identify the conflict, or gap, between the value-propositions the individuals involved are choosing to fulfil and the expectation.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Solve the Capability and/or Will problem. </span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This problem. Now. </span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't try to solve every problem all at once. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Incremental, systematic change will change the culture one problem at a time. The change can be positive or negative...you get to choose which depending on how engaged you are.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As a leader, you're either part of the problem or part of the solution.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Find conviction, belief in what you are doing, and you will <a href="https://drive.google.com/open?id=0B-bFLXgVLTccUUswNTRBY0pnazQ&authuser=0" target="_blank">create Values-Driven Leaders</a> who will:</span></li>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><span style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><a href="http://goo.gl/forms/4VpgR9Y9nv" target="_blank"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Sq76F9HdRJg/VSLoEQ8Ld2I/AAAAAAAAI_g/WS9SVyUj03o/s1600/eBook-%2BSign-Up-%2BAre%2BYou%2BGetting....jpg" height="640" width="241" /></a></span></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><a href="http://goo.gl/forms/4VpgR9Y9nv" target="_blank">GET THE FREE eBOOK</a></b></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Know</b> what the culture you want them to create looks like.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So they can <b>Think</b> before they take <b>Action</b>.</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Do</b> things that will reflect it.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Be</b> successful at building lasting mutually-beneficial relationships that are meaningful to your organization's success.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every culture is a reflection of how it is led.</span></h3>
</div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you feel like you keep addressing the same problems with your employees?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do it feel like you're constantly trying to fill gaps in your talent pool and want to reduce employee turnover?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you frustrated with employee attitudes?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Does it seem like you're constantly chasing customers? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Does it feel like you can't make key customers happy no matter how hard you try?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These are all symptoms of cultural problems that create enormous amounts of frustration, waste, and lost opportunities for you, your company and the key stakeholders critical to your success. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you know how to lead the efforts necessary to fix the cultural problems that are at the root of these symptoms? </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/about-tom-eakin.html" target="_blank">ABOUT TOM EAKIN</a></b></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vQnzBWJtQ30/VSg_NSDpTuI/AAAAAAAAJCI/prU777CVKA4/s1600/Tom-FindingSuccess.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vQnzBWJtQ30/VSg_NSDpTuI/AAAAAAAAJCI/prU777CVKA4/s1600/Tom-FindingSuccess.png" height="236" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">BUY TOM'S NEW BOOK- FINDING SUCCESS</a></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-25046219804885161152015-02-04T17:18:00.001-06:002015-02-05T10:12:56.921-06:00Influencing Change Through Humility<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This one's for the parents who care about being a consistent and loving example so their children can learn to make sound, rational decisions, be positively productive, and live satisfying, happy lives. In other words, parents who want to lead values-driven families (not a parent? Read it anyway...you may be able to apply this concepts to your situation).</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cEbo5YA6ZYg/VNKoC3CpS0I/AAAAAAAAHMw/hXzM7q4NlTM/s1600/pass%2BFAIL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cEbo5YA6ZYg/VNKoC3CpS0I/AAAAAAAAHMw/hXzM7q4NlTM/s1600/pass%2BFAIL.jpg" height="250" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let’s say you have a teenager who’s been partying too much at
college. They just showed you their grades from the Fall semester when they
came home for the holidays…and, they’re failing…everything!<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your natural reaction, “You need to do better! You should go
to class every day! You could stop partying so much and focus on your education!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You’re right. They do. They should. They could. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And, they agree with you, in principle, but your answers won’t
help them change their behavior. They’ll only make things worse. Everyone will
become even more frustrated.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h3>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why Won’t Your
Answers Help?</span></b></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Think about it for a moment. Did anything you say really
tell them something they didn't already know? Do you really believe a young
adult who is going to college doesn't know that they could get their grades up
if they focused on their education instead of partying? Are you some kind of
genius? Are they some special kind of idiot who became the first Freshman to
party too much at school?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you trying to fill the role of the expert in a situation
where you can’t be a part of the solution because you aren't a part of the
problem? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In my experience, there is only one thing that will get someone
to find the solution they really need. They know they have a problem but they
don’t want to think about it…so they don’t find a solution.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Who really needs to have the expert <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/why-how-translate-power-influence-tom-eakin?trkInfo=VSRPsearchId%3A735379241423152224173%2CVSRPtargetId%3A5958280065367240704%2CVSRPcmpt%3Aprimary&trk=vsrp_influencer_content_res_name" target="_blank">power</a> in this conversation? You, or your kid?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Will your answers help them think about the problem and how
to solve it?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is being the expert really what you want? Or, do you want to
respond with humility so they can find the solution that is meaningful to them?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h3>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What Can You Do to Make Them Think About Their Problem?</span></b></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What questions can you ask to create an atmosphere of
acceptance rather than where they can only focus on self-defense? Is this
really a time you want them to dig in? Would you rather see them be the
expert in their own situation and attack the problem?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What questions can you ask that will allow your college
student to illicit and explore their own reasons for change? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What questions can you ask that will provide them with a
safe environment to evaluate so they can decide what values they really want to
personify?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What questions can you ask that will help them define the
boundaries and the goals they want to set for themselves?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(See what I did there?
I didn't give you one "how-to" throughout this entire article, did I? Only
questions. You’re the expert in this conversation, my friend, not me!)</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are You A Parent Who Cares?</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The past few months, we've been feverishly working on a new program designed to ask parents who want to lead values-driven families the
questions that will help them build their own solutions around a simple cultural
framework:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Think</b>- <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/09/three-simple-words-path-to-success.html" target="_blank">Know</a> what you want and the person you want to be
(identify and define your core values).<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Act</b>- <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/09/three-simple-words-path-to-success.html" target="_blank">Do</a> things that will reflect the person you want to be
as you try to get what you want (Targeted Effort + Values personification =
Progress Toward Values-Driven Success ). <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Be</b>- <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/09/three-simple-words-path-to-success.html" target="_blank">Be</a> satisfied with your own efforts at getting what you
want while you continuously adapt to an ever changing world.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We ask parent-leaders how they want to apply the principles
of kinship, trust, and love and to create an engaged, satisfied, and focused
family culture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-y1TvE7e8SPc/VNKhl4YClZI/AAAAAAAAHMg/ZzTUGqOgj9g/s1600/The%2BCultural%2BSystem%2BYou%2BReally%2BWant.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-y1TvE7e8SPc/VNKhl4YClZI/AAAAAAAAHMg/ZzTUGqOgj9g/s1600/The%2BCultural%2BSystem%2BYou%2BReally%2BWant.png" height="197" width="400" /></a></div>
<h3>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></b></h3>
<h3>
<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If It All Starts With Thinking Then Doesn't the Best Thinking Start With the Best Questions?</span></b></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Humble parents ask questions about problems so the real
experts can find solutions.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s a journey…always a journey. If you're not good at putting your expert hat aside then think about it in terms of "Not Yet." Practice. Try new approaches. Get help if you need it.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our new program is called <a href="http://findingfamilysuccess.com/" target="_blank">Finding Family Success</a> and it's based on GPS Theory, the main subject of <a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">my new book, Finding Success: Get What You Really Want</a> in which I share some inspiring stories including one about my own experiences as a struggling parent. </span></div>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GPS Theory asks a very powerful question: What do you want, success or values-driven success?</span></h4>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Before you answer...consider these points:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Success is getting what you want. </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Values-driven success is </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">getting what you want </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and being the person you want to be. Did you notice the a catch? Can you really get what you want without first being the person you want to be? </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You be the expert! </span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We'd love to hear your thoughts. What questions would you ask your college kid to help influence them to think about the solution to their problem? Which is more important: Success or Values-Driven Success?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/finding-family-success.html" target="_blank">CHECK OUT BOOMLIFE'S</a></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/finding-family-success.html" target="_blank">FINDING FAMILY SUCCESS PROGRAM</a></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span><span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/finding-family-success-resources.html" target="_blank">Get FREE Parenting Resources</a></b></span><br />
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://eepurl.com/YTWQz" target="_blank"><b>BOOMLIFE'S NEWSLETTER- SIGN-UP</b></a></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1zTln0sJYo/U_869RoerCI/AAAAAAAAFV8/9Ufp8YrvfA0/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1zTln0sJYo/U_869RoerCI/AAAAAAAAFV8/9Ufp8YrvfA0/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" height="320" width="206" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8000001907349px;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">BUY THE BOOK!</a></span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" height="200" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife, and helps people achieve values-driven success. Through his writings, workshops and inspirational speaking, Tom helps people find and expand the sweet spot between what they value, what they’re good at, and what their situation requires so they can exceed even their own expectations. Tom is a former U.S. Army Ranger-qualified Combat Engineer officer with a Master’s Degree in Business Administration and Master’s Certificate in Executive Coaching from Bellevue University and has created stellar performance in teams in a wide range of environments. Originally from the Adirondack Mountains of Upstate New York, Tom lives in Jefferson, South Dakota, near his three children with his wife, Julie. He is an active and passionate advocate for parents, veterans and entrepreneurs in his community and region.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.iauthor.uk.com/chapter/:11174" target="_blank"><b>READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER </b><b style="line-height: 21px;">FROM T</b><b>HE BOOK</b></a></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-26694089326989805302015-01-21T12:11:00.003-06:002015-01-29T11:14:14.533-06:00Fairness is Like Perfection<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BDW_06aeyho/VL_roMVi9pI/AAAAAAAAHHM/viPHn_-A3G4/s1600/Fairness%2Bis%2BLike%2BPerfection.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BDW_06aeyho/VL_roMVi9pI/AAAAAAAAHHM/viPHn_-A3G4/s1600/Fairness%2Bis%2BLike%2BPerfection.png" height="241" width="640" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I told the group I was speaking to what they really wanted was to
constantly drive toward perfection.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One of them asked, “What does perfection look like to you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“I don’t know. I've never seen it. And, I never will.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I could tell most of the people in the room were thinking my
answer invalidated my previous statement. So, I shared my story.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I Thought I wanted Perfection</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In my marriage to my ex-wife, I was failing so badly at
being an example of a loving husband that my botches were also evident in the
example I provided my children. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wanted parental perfection. But, I kept telling myself, “You’ll never be the father you want
to be! Just look at the things you’ve done!” I paralyzed myself with the impossibility of being perfect. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One day, someone showed me that they saw what I thought I
was hiding from the world: My failures at being the example of the loving
husband and father I wanted to be. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I’d known for a long time my failures as a parent were
rooted in the fact that my relationship with their mother was not based on love.
We’d worked very hard at trying to find common ground. Turns out, there wasn't
enough for both of us to stand on. Sadly, the results were disastrous. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wish I could say it was for reasons more noble than
embarrassment, but the realization that my failures were evident to the people
around me shook me at my very core. I finally determined to do something.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I found the confidence and conviction to change the
relationship with my ex-wife when I decided:</span></div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">I cannot move forward if keep looking backward.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">I can be a good parent who is not married to my
children’s mother if I know what that looks like and drive my thoughts,
decisions, and actions toward that ideal.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">I can be a parental partner with my children’s
mother, if not a marriage partner, if I know what that looks like and drive my
thoughts, decisions, and actions toward that ideal.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">I can overcome the excuses I’d made in the past
to maintain the status quo.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Financial fears.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Fear of damaging my relationship with my
children.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Fear of being viewed as a failure by others.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bGhUxjWFZxk/VL_ogx8BmZI/AAAAAAAAHHA/WSJmrMZd6QQ/s1600/You%2Bwere%2Bborn%2Bto%2Bbe%2Breal%2Bnot%2Bperfect.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-bGhUxjWFZxk/VL_ogx8BmZI/AAAAAAAAHHA/WSJmrMZd6QQ/s1600/You%2Bwere%2Bborn%2Bto%2Bbe%2Breal%2Bnot%2Bperfect.jpg" height="167" width="320" /></a></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why I Didn't Choose Fairness</span></h3>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I changed the nature of the relationship with my children’s
mother first. </span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She initially didn't think it was fair for me to ask for a
divorce at the time I did. It wasn’t. But, I realized I couldn't wait for
perfect circumstance and we both needed the fighting to stop or we’d never be
the parents we really want to be. </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I worked at refocusing our interactions on what we both
valued: Raising children who can make sound, rational decisions, are positively
productive, and can find satisfaction in their own efforts. To do that, we both
needed to create a family culture based on kinship, trust and love. It took several years, but we got closer every
day.</span></div>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next, I started to change the nature of my relationship with
my children.</span></h4>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I communicated new expectations for my children. Change is hard, my
children initially resisted it, “That isn't fair! How can you expect us to
_______ (insert new expectation) when you used to_______(insert my past/related
failure here)?”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s true. It isn't fair to change the rules on people. But,
if you don’t start out with the best rules in the first
place, and you want to make things better, you have to change them. <i>Changing
things for the better with people can’t ever be fair in relation to the past.</i>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If I didn't have conviction in my values as a person and a parent, I might have given in, because they were
right about it not being fair. But, I wanted things to change and I couldn't argue
with my past failures, so I didn’t. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Yes, I did _______(insert my past/related failure(s) here).
Because I want to be a _______(insert value here) father and I want you to grow
up to be a _______(insert same value here) person too. We both need to change
how we think so we can change how we act and react.”</span></div>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, fairness is like perfection...</span></h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">...in that neither is
possible. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Try to be either </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">completely </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and you'll immobilize yourself with impossibilities. Drive toward fairness and perfection and you move forward.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It took some time to gain momentum but everyone made
progress. We’re still making progress.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How to drive toward parental perfection and fairness:</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>Define the person and the parent you want to be.</b></span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">What values do you want to personify?</span></li>
<li><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">What words
do you want others to use to describe you and your actions as a parent?</i></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Gain conviction through strength in the belief
that </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">you can be those words</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> for other
people.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>Communicate the definition of the person you
want to be and why achieving it is important.</b></span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">To your spouse or parental partner.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">To your children.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Why stop there? Tell everyone! It will make you
feel courageous as all get out! Plus, it you will gain advocates who care.</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>Evaluate every situation.</b></span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">How can you achieve values-driven success?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">What actions will help you get what you want AND be the person you want to be?</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Are you being the person you want to be while
you try to get what you want?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">A great tool for assessing this is the free </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">GPS Theory App</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> on my website.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><b>Drive toward perfection and fairness, and
values-driven success:</b></span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Do things that will help you get what you want
AND be the person you want to be.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Gain confidence as you make progress.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Here’s the catch: </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">You can’t get what you really want if you are not first the person you
want to be.</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"> This is true of parents…and everything else human beings try to
become.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My point to the group I was speaking to was this: Just because perfection is not attainable doesn't mean we can’t try to continuously get closer to it- that’s what self-improvement is. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And, whether they realized it when they signed up for the Finding Family Success Workshop, or not, they came for self-improvement. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They came to challenge the status quo and drive toward perfection and fairness as parents.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></i></div>
<h3 style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">We'd like to hear what you think. </span></h3>
<h4 style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Answer these questions in the comments section, below:</span></h4>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0px;">
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">What words do you want others to use to describe you and your actions as a parent?</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0px;">
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0px;">
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Who are the most important people for you to hear those words from?</i></div>
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGok/npINKhkxLGI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" height="200" width="141" /></a><b>ABOUT THE AUTHOR: </b>Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and the Success Engineer at BoomLife, and helps people achieve values-driven success. Through his writings, workshops and inspirational speaking, Tom helps people find and expand the sweet spot between what they value, what they’re good at, and what their situation requires so they can exceed even their own expectations. Tom is a former U.S. Army Ranger-qualified Combat Engineer officer with a Master’s Degree in Business Administration and Master’s Certificate in Executive Coaching from Bellevue University and has created stellar performance in teams in a wide range of environments. Originally from the Adirondack Mountains of Upstate New York, Tom lives in Jefferson, South Dakota, near his three children with his wife, Julie. He is an active and passionate advocate for parents, veterans and entrepreneurs in his community and region.</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-44853809611141317732015-01-16T09:44:00.000-06:002015-01-25T10:27:16.514-06:00Be a Tenacious Failure<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NiX5S4YO6Io/VLktsKmJuKI/AAAAAAAAHEA/D80j0juse3c/s1600/image.tmdb.org-t-p-original-kv3BYjq1GkVGLMctm8DZIAK651L.jpg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-NiX5S4YO6Io/VLktsKmJuKI/AAAAAAAAHEA/D80j0juse3c/s1600/image.tmdb.org-t-p-original-kv3BYjq1GkVGLMctm8DZIAK651L.jpg.png" height="308" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Image Source: http://image.tmdb.org/t/p/original/kv3BYjq1GkVGLMctm8DZIAK651L.jpg</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Failures provide opportunities to understand the gaps between what you wanted and and the results you got (internal & external) in any situation (</span><span npdkey="i4znqdir0.a012ncm9yffxbt9" style="color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; line-height: 21px;">Hint-</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;"> Gaps always exist. Always.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">)</span><br />
<div npdkey="i4zn1h740.cp23efeqc2em6lxr" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br npdkey="i4zn1h7k0.7s2gwj9k9styy14i" style="line-height: 1.4;" /></span></div>
<div npdkey="i4zn1hi00.sv21ljnm755qaor" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you're interested at all in getting better results in the future, you will take the opportunity to seek the root causes for the gaps and then adapt your efforts accordingly. </span></div>
<div npdkey="i4zn3urk0.ymshek7nuufecdi" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br npdkey="i4zn3urn0.34hragywmkuik9" style="line-height: 1.4;" /></span></div>
<div npdkey="i4zn3v1z0.zt8okwz6jqjs8aor" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You'll never get to a destination where all conditions are perfectly in your favor and where some, or all, of those conditions won't change in the next moment. The world always changes around you in ways you cannot possibly predict, therefore, you will always fail on some level and <a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">finding success</a> is a neverending journey. </span></div>
<h4 style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, if you're always going to fail, <span npdkey="i4zn6ha80.0tfq2su7zzykqpvi">be a <span npdkey="i4zndhrp0.i8bnurenfeyfzuxr" style="font-weight: bold;">"tenacious failure."</span> </span></span></h4>
<h3 style="color: #333333; line-height: 21px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span npdkey="i4zn6ha80.0tfq2su7zzykqpvi"><br /></span></span></h3>
<h3 style="color: #333333; line-height: 21px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><span npdkey="i4zn6ha80.0tfq2su7zzykqpvi">Here's How to be a Tenacious Failure:</span></span></h3>
<div npdkey="i4zndq9p0.5sa3acn1p5le4s4i" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">
<span npdkey="i4zndmou0.jlxhx5ej8ctmx6r" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">Tenacious Thinking-</span><span npdkey="i4znde5i0.bc007steh77gb9" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-decoration: underline;"></span><span npdkey="i4znag7j0.nz4hvv0xc8qfflxr" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Always think about and decide</span><span npdkey="i4zndmou0.hr6t3jt7ix1lwhfr" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> what you want (<span npdkey="i4znd0r90.30xws59i47a54s4i" style="font-style: italic;">Success*</span>) and the person you want to show the world in every situation (<span npdkey="i4znd6hx0.uj5kz4ttqhicz0k9" style="font-style: italic;">Values-Driven Actions*</span>) so you will <span npdkey="i4zndbj10.by92zpr6bog06bt9" style="font-weight: bold;">KNOW</span> what to do to get both (Values-Driven Success*).</span></div>
<div npdkey="i4zndy2m0.ag4az2yupsgd5cdi" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">
<span npdkey="i4zndy2t0.z3m15h32oo6wp14i"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br npdkey="i4zndy350.clwaoh0cea4cayvi" style="line-height: 1.4;" /></span></span></div>
<div npdkey="i4zndwti0.hddd0bsaj00e8kt9" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span npdkey="i4znak620.pxbm1qbe6tzhyqfr"><span npdkey="i4zndujo0.snn7oej02hiu23xr" style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><span npdkey="i4znb6490.6ytt28qsq5d8to6r" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">Tenacious Actions-</span><span npdkey="i4zndujo0.qg3d5l597y6tj4i" style="text-decoration: underline;"></span> </span><span npdkey="i4zndwql0.1vqca1au4gnl8fr" style="font-weight: bold;">DO</span><span npdkey="i4zndwql0.0echj03dnqmsfw29"> things that will help you get what you want while being the person you want to be.</span></span></div>
<div npdkey="i4zne1s60.gp5de2vf3yz4zpvi" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">
<span npdkey="i4zne1sc0.vbb9qjgqtwdhd7vi"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br npdkey="i4zne1si0.he0ij602e8aug14i" style="line-height: 1.4;" /></span></span></div>
<div npdkey="i4zne1j20.njn3qdxxraoflxr" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">
<span npdkey="i4zni0co0.89v4h4dxw2fenrk9"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span npdkey="i4znf44u0.2j2qleh34hjmj9k9" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span npdkey="i4znf3em0.is4dysv7jubrcnmi" style="font-weight: bold; text-decoration: underline;">Tenacious Progress-</span><span npdkey="i4znf44u0.4nkztui5mt18xgvi" style="font-weight: bold;"></span> Assess and evaluate- Did you get what you want while being the person you wanted to be? </span></span></div>
<div npdkey="i4zni0cg0.s7kti65j3f0tfbt9" style="line-height: 21px;">
<ul npdkey="i4zni1lz0.vat0w56idtt0ggb9" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px; list-style-image: initial; list-style-position: initial; margin: 8px 0px 8px 16px; padding: 0px;">
<li npdkey="i4zni1m40.j8n9emhpad53tyb9" style="margin: 0px 0px 8px; padding: 0px;"><span npdkey="i4zne0ly0.o13txkqdfsmdkj4i"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If no, <b>BE</b> dissatisfied with the gaps and seek to understand their root causes and what you need to do more of, what you need to do less of, and what you need to do differently the next time. </span></span><span npdkey="i4znjfrq0.fj2aj7322tpdgqfr" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: bold;">BE</span><span npdkey="i4znikqv0.ucya6wu1tu51att9" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> satisfied with your decisions and efforts and you just might find happiness...even when you fail.</span></li>
<li npdkey="i4znj7w70.iyw4t1dxo6wp14i" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span npdkey="i4znjfrq0.s2zby9zy65bqpvi" style="font-weight: bold;"></span><span npdkey="i4znjfrq0.fj2aj7322tpdgqfr" style="font-weight: bold;"><span npdkey="i4znjkwh0.kfvurftvjejnhfr" style="font-weight: normal;">If yes,</span> BE </span><span npdkey="i4znjfrq0.fj2aj7322tpdgqfr">satisfied with the choices and actions that got those results, but also, <b>BE</b> alert! The world will keep changing around you. Your new success is now your status quo...<b>BE</b> a Tenacious Thinker.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/09/three-simple-words-path-to-success.html" target="_blank">Three simple words: KNOW - DO - BE</a> = The Path to Success</span></div>
<h3 style="color: #333333;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The Alternative</span></span></h3>
<div npdkey="i4znk7w10.qy2sds0pn9hk6gvi" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you're not willing to be a tenacious failure then you're making a choice to ignore the gaps (the gaps that always exist. Always). You become complacent, blinded by the boundaries of your comfort zone. Stuck and<a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/07/why-are-people-afraid-of-success.html" target="_blank"> fearful of the success you really want</a>. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ultimately, even if you try to blame the world, you become dissatisfied with yourself. </span></span></div>
<div npdkey="i4znk7w10.qy2sds0pn9hk6gvi" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div npdkey="i4znk7w10.qy2sds0pn9hk6gvi" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then, you'll just be a regular ol' failure.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div npdkey="i4znk7w10.qy2sds0pn9hk6gvi" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px;">
<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, that's no way to truly live, is it? </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></h3>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">The Hardest Part is the Part You Usually Avoid</span></h3>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">BUY FINDING SUCCESS!</a></span></b></td></tr>
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<div npdkey="i4znk7w10.qy2sds0pn9hk6gvi" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Truthfully, the hardest part to master is the thinking part. We human beings can be impetuous and foolish- </span><em class="markup--em markup--p-em"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">the human heart and it’s constant craving to be filled so often compels us to focus on getting what we think we want- we too often forget about the person we really want to be.</span></em></div>
<div npdkey="i4znk7w10.qy2sds0pn9hk6gvi" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div npdkey="i4znk7w10.qy2sds0pn9hk6gvi" style="color: #333333; font-size: 15px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In my book, Finding Success, I share a number of stories from my own life that show how much pain I created for myself by not failing tenaciously. The stories in the book illustrate the difference seeking values-driven success made in my life and the lives of the people around me <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-birth-of-gps-theory.html" target="_blank">once I created GPS Theory and started sharing it with the world</a>. I started really living for love, for faith, honor, charity, and reason by seeking to understand, finding the courage to face the truth in every situation, and the creativity to do more to get what I want and be the person I want to be. By applying GPS Theory, any human being can create the mutually beneficial relationships they really want.</span></div>
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<span style="color: red; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b>BOOM!</b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/finding-family-success.html" target="_blank">CHECK OUT BOOMLIFE'S NEW</a></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/finding-family-success.html" target="_blank">FINDING FAMILY SUCCESS PROGRAM</a></b></span></div>
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Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and Success Engineer at BoomLife, he helps</div>
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<div style="color: black; font-size: medium; line-height: normal;">
people achieve values-driven success. Through his writings, workshops and inspirational speaking, Tom helps people find and expand the sweet spot between what they value, what they’re good at, and what their situation requires so they can exceed even their own expectations. Tom is a former U.S. Army Ranger-qualified Combat Engineer officer with a Master’s Degree in Business Administration and Master’s Certificate in Executive Coaching from Bellevue University and has created stellar performance in teams in a wide range of environments. Originally from the Adirondack Mountains of Upstate New York, Tom lives in Jefferson, South Dakota, near his three children with his wife, Julie. He is an active and passionate advocate for veterans and entrepreneurs in his community and region.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><a href="http://www.iauthor.uk.com/chapter/:11174" target="_blank"><b>READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER </b><b style="line-height: 21px;">FROM <i>FINDING SUCCESS</i></b></a></span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-19118974970234702662015-01-14T12:20:00.000-06:002015-05-20T08:58:33.875-05:00Teaching Children the Math Behind Integrity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pQibX2kTcxs/VLamm9TInnI/AAAAAAAAHDY/vxa0TwOvxSc/s1600/Integrity%2BDo%2BThe%2BMath-%2Bcropped.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-pQibX2kTcxs/VLamm9TInnI/AAAAAAAAHDY/vxa0TwOvxSc/s1600/Integrity%2BDo%2BThe%2BMath-%2Bcropped.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I was a kid, my parents always told me integrity is "doing what you say you will do."</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I was in the Army, I learned it was "doing the right thing, even when no one is watching".</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Neither definition is wrong. But, I believe both always left some important questions unanswered, like:</span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What if what I say I will do is not what I want?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do I know the right thing to do in every situation?</span></li>
</ul>
</div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What the <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/" target="_blank">Dictionary</a> tells us:</span></h3>
<div>
<a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" style="font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 20px; line-height: 22px;" target="_blank">Integrity</a><br />
<br />
<header class="luna-data-header" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px;"><span class="dbox-pg" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 20px;">(<a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" target="_blank">noun</a>)</span></header><br />
<div class="def-set" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; padding-bottom: 17px;">
<span class="def-number" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; float: left; padding-right: 5px;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" target="_blank">1.</a></span></span><br />
<div class="def-content" style="box-sizing: border-box; padding-left: 37px;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" target="_blank"><span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">adherence</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">to</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">moral</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">and</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">ethical</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">principles;</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">soundness</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">of</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">moral </span><span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">character;</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">honesty.</span></a></span></div>
</div>
<div class="def-set" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; padding-bottom: 17px;">
<span class="def-number" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; float: left; padding-right: 5px;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" target="_blank">2.</a></span></span><br />
<div class="def-content" style="box-sizing: border-box; padding-left: 37px;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" target="_blank"><span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">the</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">state</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">of</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">being</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">whole,</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">entire,</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">or</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">undiminished:</span></a></span><br />
<div class="def-block def-inline-example" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #979797;">
<span class="dbox-example" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; quotes: '"', '"';"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" target="_blank"><span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">to</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">preserve</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">the</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">integrity</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">of</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">the</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">empire.</span></a></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<div class="def-set" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: Verdana, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px; padding-bottom: 17px;">
<span class="def-number" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; float: left; padding-right: 5px;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" target="_blank">3.</a></span></span><br />
<div class="def-content" style="box-sizing: border-box; padding-left: 37px;">
<span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" target="_blank"><span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">a</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">sound,</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">unimpaired,</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">or</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">perfect</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">condition:</span></a></span><br />
<div class="def-block def-inline-example" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #979797;">
<span class="dbox-example" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic; quotes: '"', '"';"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/integrity?s=t" target="_blank"><span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">the</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">integrity</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">of</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">a</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">ship's</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">hull.</span></a></span></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What does it mean?</span></h3>
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's simple: The only way to have integrity, to achieve a state of being whole, is to personify each of your values (a.k.a. virtuous, "moral and ethical principles") consistently. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Think of your values as pieces of a puzzle and <i>"of your life as a puzzle. </i></span><span style="line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>You create and form the pieces that fit together to create the whole.
If you don’t give each piece the attention it needs, it just won’t fit into the
others. You may have the pieces, you may understand that you need them, but
because they don’t fit, they leave empty spaces in your life until you give
them the needed attention." (From <a href="http://valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">Finding Success</a>)</i></span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The point is, every human knows who they want to be. That ideal person is defined by a specific set of values, each of which have meaning and together make up the integrated whole.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In any situation, when our decisions and actions are focused on personifying each of our values integrity is sustained, regardless of the results. </span><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's our biggest challenge</span></h3>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-weight: normal;">The external results we seek have a tendency to distract, or divide, our actions from our values. When that happens, we cannot have integrity because the person we want to be, is compromised, the ideal whole person becomes disintegrated to some extent.</span></h4>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's the deceptively simple solution</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When making a decision, always remember that there is a difference between success and values-driven success.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Success is getting what you want (desired external results).</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Values-driven success is getting what you want and being the person you want to be. Here's the catch, you can't really get what you want if you are not first the person you want to be.</span><br />
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your children can always have integrity if they answer this question and then do what it tells them to: </span></h4>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How can I get what I want and be the person I want to be? </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The secret sauce is to choose to do things that consistently personify all of their values.</span></div>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why Teaching your children this way of thinking is important to parents who care</span></h4>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Helps them consistently prioritize values over results: the person they want to be is more important than the things they want to get.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Potential results (rewards or punishments) either motivate or coerce.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Values inspire.</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Provides a values-based foundation upon which they can always build.</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Conviction will drive them to keep working at getting the results they want.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Results are temporary and can be changed if they keep trying.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
</div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What the Math Looks Like</span></h3>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-scxS38cnHKc/VLak93u6N0I/AAAAAAAAHDQ/MRV5Eq_72hM/s1600/Integrity%2BDo%2BThe%2BMath.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-scxS38cnHKc/VLak93u6N0I/AAAAAAAAHDQ/MRV5Eq_72hM/s1600/Integrity%2BDo%2BThe%2BMath.png" width="640" /></a></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's break the equation down:</span></h4>
<div>
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Words </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">= The words you want people to use to describe you and the actions you take; your values and the "moral and ethical principles" they represent.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Acts</b> = The things you do.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Nothing </b>= You cannot be "whole, entire, or undiminished" if anything divides your values from your actions.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How to Make the Math Work</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(<a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/finding-family-success.html" target="_blank">We have an awesome program to help with this process...it's called Finding Family Success</a></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">)</span></div>
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</div>
<div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Identify and define your own values then h</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">elp your children identify and define theirs. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Teach your children how to define the person they want to be. Answer this question:</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What words do I want to use people to use to describe me and my actions?</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Teach your children to find the answers to the question that will lead them toward values-driven success:</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How can I get what I want and be the person I want to be?</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Teach your children to <b>always check their math</b>:</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Did I get what I want?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Was I the person I want to be?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This answer tells them if anything divided their words from their actions.</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What can I do differently next time to get both?</span></li>
</ul>
</ol>
<div>
<span style="color: red; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b>BOOM!</b></span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/finding-family-success.html" target="_blank">CHECK OUT BOOMLIFE'S NEW</a></b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: red; font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/finding-family-success.html" target="_blank">FINDING FAMILY SUCCESS PROGRAM</a></b></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
Tom Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i> and Success Engineer at BoomLife, he helps<br />
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people achieve values-driven success. Through his writings, workshops and inspirational speaking, Tom helps people find and expand the sweet spot between what they value, what they’re good at, and what their situation requires so they can exceed even their own expectations. Tom is a former U.S. Army Ranger-qualified Combat Engineer officer with a Master’s Degree in Business Administration and Master’s Certificate in Executive Coaching from Bellevue University and has created stellar performance in teams in a wide range of environments. Originally from the Adirondack Mountains of Upstate New York, Tom lives in Jefferson, South Dakota, near his three children with his wife, Julie. He is an active and passionate advocate for veterans and entrepreneurs in his community and region.<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<b style="font-size: xx-large;"><a href="http://www.iauthor.uk.com/chapter/:11174" target="_blank">READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER FROM <i>FINDING SUCCESS</i></a></b></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-48819935407995241402014-12-29T12:40:00.000-06:002015-01-09T14:20:17.745-06:00Six Steps to Expanding Your Sweet Spot<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iMLu_aBKJpA/VKGWmBnzQ9I/AAAAAAAAGn8/rtykiV_WRuU/s1600/The%2BSituation-%2BPart%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iMLu_aBKJpA/VKGWmBnzQ9I/AAAAAAAAGn8/rtykiV_WRuU/s1600/The%2BSituation-%2BPart%2B1.png" height="288" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's hard to get into The Sweet Spot when it is so tiny!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<h2 style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><a href="http://www.valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">Finding Success</a> in any situation depends on how well you are able to
balance relevant facts (what you know) with confidence (what you think you
know) and conviction (what you believe)</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">.
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">It can be very difficult to find success when the sweet spot is very small.</span></i></span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><i>The following six steps will help you expand the sweet spot in any situation so you can get what you want while being the person you want to be.</i></span><br />
<h3>
<span style="color: #191919; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt;">SIX STEPS TO EXPANDING YOUR SWEET SPOT:</span></h3>
<div>
<div>
<i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">1</span><span style="color: #191919;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">.</span><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal;"> </span><span style="font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal;"> A</span></span></i><span style="color: #191919; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">lways ask the question: <i>What do I want and how can I get it while
being the person I want to be?</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><i><br /></i></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">2.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">Research the answers. The more work you do in
this step to define the following three things, and in this order, the more
confidence and conviction you’ll have later on:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Fpnt5sBztVs/VKGagEq3fTI/AAAAAAAAGoI/MGL92iZ8MZI/s1600/The%2BSweet%2BSpot-%2BPart%2B1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Fpnt5sBztVs/VKGagEq3fTI/AAAAAAAAGoI/MGL92iZ8MZI/s1600/The%2BSweet%2BSpot-%2BPart%2B1.png" height="188" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Identify the real value-propositions</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">a.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">What
you value</span></i><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">: Why do it? What
personal, professional, and/or organizational value-propositions does it
represent the opportunities to realize for you and your stakeholders? Define
what you know, what you think you know, and what you believe about why it is
important to you and your stakeholders.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">b.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">What
you are good at</span></i><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">: How will you go about
achieving the results you want? Define what you will do.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">c.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><i><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">What
people care about</span></i><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">: Why will they interact
with or invest themselves in it? <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">3.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal; font-style: normal;">
</span></span></i><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">Develop
your hypothesis. A good simple but clear hypothesis looks something like this: <br />
<i>I believe when I ___________, I will
create __________ (external value-proposition for stakeholder(s)) and
__________(internal value-proposition for self)</i></span></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ad-hZuERUzY/VKGbWf6Z_HI/AAAAAAAAGoQ/1RBKCeMEkyc/s1600/The%2BSweet%2BSpot-%2BPart%2B2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ad-hZuERUzY/VKGbWf6Z_HI/AAAAAAAAGoQ/1RBKCeMEkyc/s1600/The%2BSweet%2BSpot-%2BPart%2B2.png" height="201" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your hypothesis must focus on taking advantage of the real opportunities if you want to expand The Sweet Spot</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="color: #191919; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="color: #191919; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;">4.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><span style="color: #191919; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;">Test your hypothesis. Do it!</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="color: #191919; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; text-align: center; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">5.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">Analyze the Results<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">a.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">Did you get what you want? Based on the
results (data, feedback, etc.), do you have enough <u>confidence</u> in the idea and
the approach you took to do it again?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span>i.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">If yes, go to 5.b.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span>ii.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">If no, go back to 2. Do more research to
identify what you need to do differently the next time you test your
hypothesis?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">b.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">Did you personify your values completely while
you were doing the things that led to the results you got?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span>i.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">If yes, go to 5.c.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span>ii.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">If no, go to 5.d. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">c.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">Do you have the <u>conviction</u> to follow
through and continue to do what it takes to realize the value-proposition for
yourself and your stakeholders?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span>i.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">If yes, go to 6.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span>ii.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">If no, go back to 2 and do more research on
why achieving the results you seek is important to you before you go to 6.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">d.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">Do you have the <u>conviction</u> to change
the approach?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span>i.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">If yes, go back to 2. Do more research on what
you need to do to get what you want while being the person you want to be.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-URNNlS5bURk/VKGb7ie-INI/AAAAAAAAGoY/8vjDT7t-RgY/s1600/The%2BSituation-%2BPart%2B2.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-URNNlS5bURk/VKGb7ie-INI/AAAAAAAAGoY/8vjDT7t-RgY/s1600/The%2BSituation-%2BPart%2B2.png" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="color: blue; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">BOOM!</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;">
</span>ii.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">If no, Go back to 2 and do more research on
why achieving the results you seek is important to you and re-work your plan
before you test your hypothesis again. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 1.5in; text-indent: -1.5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">6.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">REPEAT & SHARE THE VALUE YOU'VE CREATED! <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.25in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><br /></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt 0.75in; text-indent: -0.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">a.<span style="font-size: 7pt; font-stretch: normal;"> </span></span><!--[endif]--><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;">Even when you’ve achieved values-driven
success, you should always go back to 2 periodically to understand how you can
continuously improve…the world will change…you need to change with it.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span><br />
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<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you make it to step 6: You have not only expanded your SWEET SPOT, you are in it!</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1zTln0sJYo/U_869RoerCI/AAAAAAAAFV8/9Ufp8YrvfA0/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1zTln0sJYo/U_869RoerCI/AAAAAAAAFV8/9Ufp8YrvfA0/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" height="200" width="128" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank"><b>BUY IT NOW!</b></a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #191919;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">For more thought-provoking discussion on finding values-driven
success, inspiring stories of people </span>who've<span style="font-size: 12pt;"> achieved it and strategies you can
apply, read my new book, </span></span><a href="http://www.valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Finding Success: Get what you really want</span></a></span><span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><span style="font-family: TimesNewRomanPSMT;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #191919; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
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<i><span style="color: #191919; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/QzR40Q9XU1Q?list=UUwKFoq9N6cMoR-QhE3tmnAg" width="560"></iframe><o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGog/qhB7Sg92xjI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-b5Sj-fukunU/VKGc_JEoeOI/AAAAAAAAGog/qhB7Sg92xjI/s1600/Tom%2BEakin-%2B300%2Bdpi.jpg" height="200" width="141" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Tom
Eakin is the author of <i>Finding Success</i>
and founder of BoomLife, an organization that helps people achieve
values-driven success. Through his writings, workshops and inspirational
speaking, Tom helps people find and expand the sweet spot between what they
value, what they’re good at, and what their situation requires so they can
exceed even their own expectations. Tom is a former U.S. Army Ranger-qualified
Combat Engineer officer with a Master’s Degree in Business Administration and
Master’s Certificate in Executive Coaching from Bellevue University and has
created stellar performance in teams in a wide range of environments.
Originally from the Adirondack Mountains of Upstate New York, Tom lives in
Jefferson, South Dakota, near his three children with his wife, Julie. He is an
active and passionate advocate for veterans and entrepreneurs in his community
and region.</span></div>
</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-23899131049694694972014-12-05T11:14:00.001-06:002014-12-23T13:45:18.478-06:00To You, Who Dares to Dream of Finding Success<h2>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To You, Who Dare's to Dream of Finding Success</span></h2>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Is your idea marketable and profitable? Make an experiment.</span></h3>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DOjuiRuTPIk/VIHVBs56fGI/AAAAAAAAGPQ/lNYOwYbbLJA/s1600/The%2BBig%2BUntested%2BIdea%2BRemains.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DOjuiRuTPIk/VIHVBs56fGI/AAAAAAAAGPQ/lNYOwYbbLJA/s1600/The%2BBig%2BUntested%2BIdea%2BRemains.png" height="179" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You have big dreams of finding success. <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2014/10/what-every-person-on-this-planet-really.html" target="_blank">You're human. You can't help it.</a></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">You have an idea of what success looks like. You like the idea. No, you love it. So naturally, it's time to develop your plan and start making things happen, right? Oh, the things you could do if you only had the money, or talked to the right person! That's what you're thinking...If only... Am I right? (I wouldn't have started BoomLife or written <a href="http://www.valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">Finding Success</a> if I didn't believe you were thinking this way)</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">As a <a href="https://www.score.org/" target="_blank">SCORE volunteer</a>, I encounter this line of thinking quite often when entrepreneurs tell me about their big idea. Then, right away, they ask me where they can get the grant, the funding, the financing that will make their dream a reality. You can imagine their disappointment and frustration with me when I tell them everything they are talking about is wrong, except <i>MAYBE</i> one thing: their idea.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"></span><br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" lang="en">
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">“There is only one way to succeed at anything and that is to give everything.” <a href="http://t.co/OCBxeQxVD2">pic.twitter.com/OCBxeQxVD2</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">— SCORE Biz Mentor (@SCOREMentors) <a href="https://twitter.com/SCOREMentors/status/540945081357074433">December 5, 2014</a></span></blockquote>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">
</span>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script></span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The Truth About The Money </span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Here's what I tell people with great ideas. Grants exist, but they are ghost-like in nature for the new idea, nearly impossible to grasp. Investors will fund, but only proven opportunities. Banks will loan, but only to manageable risks. </span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The Truth Behind The Truth About The Money</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Here's what I tell people with great ideas who think they need the money. Money is granted, invested, loaned to help ideas that meet a need in the market grow (note the use of present tense there?). Entrepreneurs who have an unproven idea are looking for money for self-serving purposes. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Some, not all, say this to me next. </span><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"But, I can't build my dream company...I can't invest in the (<i>insert various assets here</i>)<insert assets="" here="" various=""> I need to launch at the scale necessary to fulfill my dream...I can't make a living...without the money." Every one of them is thinking it. </insert></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">So, they generally don't like what I have to tell them. They can only see me as an obstacle at this point, a naysayer, they think I can't or won't help them.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The entrepreneur with the big idea and who is frustrated with the messenger who wants to help them by telling them the truth doesn't recognize that </span><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2014/08/the-agony-ecstasy-of-being-genuinely-me.html" style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;" target="_blank">I agonize with them and what they will go through</a><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">. They don't know that I've started at least five businesses that didn't quite crest the hill. They have no idea that I've never made a fortune mostly because I've gotten caught up in the way they are thinking right now. I too, want to turn my big idea, my dream, into a living. </span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">They can't see that although I, too, am struggling, I will not give up (I will <a href="https://exploreb2b.com/articles/quit-tomorrow" target="_blank">quit tomorrow</a>)because I believe in the idea at the very core even if proving the value-proposition is obscured by the human desire to have everything easy. The people who are frustrated by what I'm telling them can't understand that by volunteering to help them make their dream a reality, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%2021:1-4" target="_blank">I'm giving out of need</a>.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">About Those Who Don't Make Their Dream Come True</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Heuristically speaking, less than 5% of the people I help as a volunteer and in my own business really follow-through. You could look at that seemingly pitiful statistic and ask, "What does that say about you, Tom?" </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">It actually says less than me than it does about the other 95%, or more, who give up because getting what they think they want isn't easy. What does it say about the larger frustration they feel from a life's dream untested, unproven, contained and unshared? I agonize for them. I've been there.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The truth is, nothing feels more like success than being willing to help meet someone's need...and actually doing what it takes to try.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Ask The Best Questions, Get the Best Answers</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">The other day, I got a request from an entrepreneur who asked me, "How can I know my idea will be profitable?"</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">"You're only asking half of the big question." She was assuming her idea meets a need her target market recognizes it can fill. I told her the best question for her to ask right now is: </span></div>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">How can I know if my idea is marketable and profitable?</span></h4>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Then, she showed me that she just might be a member of the tenacious "less than 5%" who are willing to do what it takes. She asked, "How can I know if my idea is marketable and profitable?"</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I'm so glad she asked!</span></div>
<div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Dare to Dream...Dare to Do</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The answer is deceptively simple. I say deceptively because I can provide it in a short, six-word sentence, "You try it and find out," yet translating that direction into the right combination of actions is what separates the dreamers from the willing "less than 5%".</span><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Everything is an experiment. </span></h3>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">That's right, everything we need to know about <a href="http://www.valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">finding success</a> we <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/weve-created-application-that-helps-you.html" target="_blank">learned in 8th Grade Science</a>. The Scientific Method.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">I helped this entrepreneur find the path to the answers to her specific question by showing her how to apply the Scientific Method to her idea and situation. And, I did it by asking her a bunch of questions and challenged her to answer them:</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>1) Ask the Question: </b>How can I know if (<i>insert idea here</i>) is marketable and profitable?</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>2) Do the Research: </b>Find the answers to these questions (<i>Note: This list of questions is not all-inclusive</i>):</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Who</b> does the idea serve?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Who</b> is willing to try it (target customer)?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>What </b>is your idea (product/service)?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>What</b> need does it meet?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i><u>Why</u></i></b> do you think it will meet this need?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><i><u>Why</u> </i></b>do the willing <b>Who</b>'s think it will meet their need?</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>What</b> resources do you need to try it?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People/Skills?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Materials</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tools?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Equipment?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facility?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Time?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Other?</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>How </b>will you deliver your idea (product/service) to the willing <b>Who</b>'s?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>When</b> can and will you coordinate the <b>Who</b>'s and the <b>What</b>'s to test your hypothesis (date/time)?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are there lead times?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are there schedules to deconflict?</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Where</b> will you test your idea?</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>3) Develop a Hypothesis: </b>It should look something like this.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I believe <i>(insert idea here)</i> will do <i>(insert need the idea will meet here)</i> for <i>(insert the willing <b>who</b> here) </i>when I provide them with <i>(insert the appropriate <b>what</b>'s here) by (insert the <b>how'</b>s here) </i>on (<i>insert <b>when</b> here</i>) at (<i>insert <b>where</b> here</i>).</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>4) Test your Hypothesis: </b>Do it! Execute the <b>What</b> for the <b>Who</b>, <b>When</b>, <b>Where</b> and <b>How</b> you said you would. <b>Why?</b> Because your idea is really about helping someone in a way only you can...your dream can never come true if you don't try.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>5) Analyze your Results: </b>Answer these questions.</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Check for <b>Marketability</b>:</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you think the idea (product/service) met your customer's need?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If No, why not and what can you do differently to make it so? Go back to Step 2. The real failure, right now would be for you to give up, the results you got are just data.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If Yes, think about what could have made it better for you in terms of <b>Who</b>, <b>What</b>, <b>When</b>, <b>Where</b>, and <b>How</b> then go to the next question.</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Does your customer think the idea met the need they expected it to?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If No, why not and what can you do differently to make is so? Or, did it meet a different, unexpected need in a way you should pursue instead? In either case, go back to Step 2. Remember...the results are only providing you with information that will help you make different decisions. Different decisions will probably lead to different results.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If Yes, find out what could have made it better for them, in terms of <b>Who</b>, <b>What</b>, <b>When</b>, <b>Where</b>, and <b>How</b> then go to the next analysis step.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Check for <b>Profitability</b>:</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How much did the test cost?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Direct Costs</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People/Skills X Time?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Materials?</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Indirect Costs</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tools?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Equipment?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Facility?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Other?</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How much would it cost to repeat the test continuously?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Direct Costs) X ((# of repetitions/Period) + (Indirect Costs/Period)) = Costs/Period</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are there any additional indirect costs to consider that weren't necessary to run the test but would be if you operated continuously (licenses, leases, purchases, etc.)?</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How much revenue did you generate when you tested your idea?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Revenue/Repetition</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you need to make any adjustments to your pricing model? </span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How much revenue would you generate if you repeated the test continuously?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Revenue/Repetition) x (Repetitions/Period)</span></li>
</ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Does the data indicate it can be profitable?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Revenue/Period) - (Costs/Period) = Profit</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If equal to or more than $0.01, then Yes. Repeat. Learn. Improve. </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If less than $0.01, then No. Go back to Step 2. Refine the idea and try again. What conditions do you need to change within your test, or the idea itself, to change the data in your favor with the next results?</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
</ul>
</ul>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">The Truth About the Dream</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">When my SCORE client thanked me for asking those questions about her idea in the form of the Scientific Method she said, "It has given me a track to run on."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">What she does next...and after that...and after that...will determine if she is one of the "less than 5%". I hope she is. I'm willing to help her.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">You will notice there is no reference in the experiment to foundations, investors, or banks. </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">It is focused only on the idea and how to answer the best question to ask about it, "Will the idea be marketable and profitable?" That's what she's focused on right now. She's not distracted by ethereal grants, investment dollars, or bank loans. She's doing her thing!</span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">No one can answer the best question about your idea until it is tested. It's your idea. Test it! Find the answers to your question by doing. Avoid the distractions. Provide a solution. Don't rely on anyone else (foundations, investors, banks, etc.) to make your dream to find success come true and get what you really want. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Find the willing and give out of need. Become one of the "less than 5%" who dares to dream of finding success...and then actually brings something new and special into the world. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Ready to run your own experiment?</span></h3>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><a href="https://www.fiverr.com/s/6v54fc" target="_blank">I'm offering an ebook on how to Test Your Big Idea on Fiverr.com that has even more experiment-creating help than provided in this article. Get it for only $5.00 here</a>!</span></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Tell me what you think:</span></h3>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1zTln0sJYo/U_869RoerCI/AAAAAAAAFV8/9Ufp8YrvfA0/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C1zTln0sJYo/U_869RoerCI/AAAAAAAAFV8/9Ufp8YrvfA0/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" height="320" width="206" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: orange;"><b><span style="font-size: small;">BUY FINDING SUCCESS NOW!</span></b></span><br />
<b>Hard Copy Available at:</b><br />
<a href="http://www.valuesdrivensuccess.com/">WWW.VALUESDRIVENSUCCESS.COM</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Do you agree that everything is an experiment and that we use the Scientific Method every day? Why or why not?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;">Do you agree that failure is actually giving up on the idea and the dream...that the results provide the data you need to keep making decisions and doing what it takes? </span><span style="font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace;">Why or why not?</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace;"><br /></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-40287614666837698642014-11-14T10:24:00.002-06:002014-12-16T15:34:57.783-06:00The Perfect Blend of Life and Work<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Perfect Blend of Life and Work</span></h2>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am immersed, heart-deep, in the greatest challenge of a lifetime.</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-a-TCMkzXWW0/VGYskv1srkI/AAAAAAAAGD0/bStOYouFLv4/s1600/LIFE-WORK.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-a-TCMkzXWW0/VGYskv1srkI/AAAAAAAAGD0/bStOYouFLv4/s1600/LIFE-WORK.png" height="268" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How do I make what I do for a living align as completely as
possible with what I value most?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am a veteran. I have worked in the corporate world for
over a dozen years. During that period, I’ve experience the following results.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">I have achieved professional success while simultaneously experiencing significant failures and problems in my personal life due to values misalignment.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">I have experienced significant professional failures during prodigious periods of positive personal growth.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><a href="http://siouxcityjournal.com/weekender/veterans-views-on-veterans-day-and-army-core-values/article_5dbd0862-f8c6-5f3b-a222-b0b50f6134a1.html" target="_blank">I've been able to blend personal and professional success only for very brief moments in corporate environments</a>. I want more than that...really.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two years ago, I started a small business because, at the
age of 41, I finally figured out what I want to do with my life- I want to help
people find values-driven success. My own experiences and frustrations have
driven me to ask hard questions about myself and my career path. My values have
inspired me to continue to move forward, to break out of the thinking that my
personal and professional lives cannot be blended. I'm convinced they can be through thoughtful, deliberate effort because I've experienced it before. I want to get it back and I know I cannot do it on my own. I need people-values-driven people.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Like almost every veteran I've talked with over the years, what I miss most was being a part of <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2014/05/in-memorial-of-whats-been-lost.html" target="_blank">a culture where people did great things for each other</a>. In that culture brotherhood and trust are earned. It is a culture based on love, the kind that compels one to action.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, even though I still work for someone else…someone who
seeks financial success while giving little more than lip service to values…I continue to develop my
own business. I keep working at setting the conditions for my own values-driven
success.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I volunteer with several organizations. One of them is an
online mentoring program for veterans. In that role, I usually focus on
developing one-on-one relationships and action plans with people I can help instead
of spending a lot of time in discussion threads. Recently however, I came
across a thread that caught my attention. The question that started it all
related to the challenges veterans are facing as they work toward finding
success in the corporate world. Veterans are
struggling with finding satisfying careers.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Veterans and values-driven thinkers have a common problem to solve</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After we transition
out of the military, how do we fit in so we can be successful in a results-driven world? <a href="https://medium.com/@goboomlife/sleeping-naked-finding-success-f61d797722e9" target="_blank">Is this what we really want?</a><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">First, let’s get to the core of the real issue- Veterans
were taught how to think in a way that puts values before results. Many
corporate leaders and hiring managers are conditioned for results-driven
thinking. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The difference between
values-based and results-based thinking is the real problem.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every human being on this planet can recognize when someone else's actions don’t match up with the stated values.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Veterans come from a culture where people come first. They
care about each other so much that they are willing to point out the gaps between words and actions when they become apparent. The reason why they’re willing to do that is they
recognize the real mutually beneficial relationship they seek with their colleagues:
They need each other in order to be successful. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, values-driven thinkers learn how to tell
the hard truths. More importantly, we learn to listen to the hard truths.
Listening to honest feedback from the people we care about is so
important because it is so easy for us to fool ourselves. Ignoring such
feedback leads us to complacency and acceptance of the status quo.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In an environment where people place a higher priority on the
results there is less incentive to provide accurate feedback. One
could argue there is almost no incentive. The risks are just too high when one
works in a culture where cutting to the core and speaking truthfully appear to be judgmental and abrasive. In such an environment, personal results (position, power,
financial) are prioritized over purpose (mission, vision,
values). Results-driven people value job security and political relationships
as the means to get what they think they want (more rewards or maintaining the
status quo).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's not confound the real problem.</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is not meant to be a polarizing discussion. I’m not
saying values-driven people don’t or should not value results. And, I’m not
saying results-driven people do not think values are important. It comes down
to what is most important in every situation. Everything we do is a
value-proposition and our decisions and actions show what is really most
important. So, it is a question of priority. What comes first, values or
results? Results-driven people tend to create gray area around values by
prioritizing results. Here’s the thing about gray area: It expands. Here’s the
thing about results: They’re quantifiable and therefore they become the yardstick
against which success is measured when they are prioritized. The problem with
being primarily results-driven is there is a great risk one will expand the values gray area beyond what is acceptable. Every human being is susceptible to this
risk.</span><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What does a successful blend look like?</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What I'm really trying to say is success is a blend of both values and results. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In my new book <a href="http://www.valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">Finding Success</a>, I tell stories to illustrate how the kind of success each person on this planet really seeks</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> isn't as simple as just getting what you want (results). The kind of success each person is really after is values-driven success- Getting what you want and being the person you want to be </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(or the leader, or the organization)</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. Values-driven success is the perfect blend of values and results; the perfect blend of life and work. Perfection is not possible, but we can always keep moving toward it...but only if we know what it looks like.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, here are the conditions present for the problem I'd love to solve:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Veterans have learned to say the hard truths because
we seek values-driven success through continuous personal, professional and
organizational improvement. Because we've learned how to prioritize values first, we’ve been inspired to achieved results that have
exceeded expectations. The satisfaction we get from our efforts drives us to want to continue to improve and achieve more in the future- We see and we seek
the opportunities for success beyond the status quo.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Results-driven leaders have learned to become both risk and conflict averse. They
are looking for safety and security. This is apparent when performance is measured and recognized only in relation to a budget and financial statements. Why do I say this? Budgets are generally created based on
performance in previous years, especially the successful years. In other words, by wanting to repeat what's been done before results-driven leaders expect to make the same mistakes they made the year
before (think about it). So, a previous level of performance has been
identified as successful by people who hold power they recognize it as such. Here are a few examples:</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Staying safe = maintaining the status quo = meeting the budget = success.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Staying safe = maintaining the status quo = keeping your job safe = success.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Staying safe = maintaining the status quo = keeping political allies = success.</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<ul>
</ul>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why do veterans and values-driven thinkers even want to fit in?</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There has been much discussion on focusing on encouraging
businesses to hire veterans, especially with the recent passing of Veteran’s
Day. The conditions I listed above cause me great concern as I don’t see things
working the way everyone intends. If no one is willing to acknowledge that
these conditions are present things will not end well. <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/12/how-to-perform-first-aid-on-conflict.html" target="_blank">The conflict alreadyexists. The fact that it is publicly not acknowledged does not make itotherwise, but it does make the problem more difficult to solve.</a></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to ask the veterans and other values-driven thinkers- <i>values-driven thinking is not exclusive to veterans</i>- these
questions:</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l4 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why do we even want to fit in?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Is results-driven safety really what we're after? </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Given our experiences, are sustainable safety and security even possible?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don’t we really want to find ways to help people
find satisfaction in their efforts? Don’t we want to help people find
values-driven success?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How do we accomplish values-driven success in a
world where the very resources everyone needs to survive are constrained? Resources
are always either limited or unevenly distributed- This is the ultimate root
cause of results-driven thinking!</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Again, why are we trying to fit into cultures
where actions are primarily driven by the prospect of results (position, power,
financial) when we know it’s not what we really want?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why would we fall into that trap when we know
what truly makes us satisfied, happy, and successful is the personification of
our values? (We know this because we have experienced it before!)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What better way is there to find the blend
between our personal and professional lives than to continue to put values at
the forefront of our decisions and help others do the same?</span></li>
</ul>
<!--[if !supportLists]--></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why would results-driven leaders even want to hire veterans and values-driven thinkers?</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I want to ask results-driven leaders these questions:</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in;">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What is more important to you, continuous improvement or maintaining your status quo?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What if you were given the opportunity to hear
how you could achieve more personal, professional, and organizational success than you currently expect and accept?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What would you do with that opportunity? Would
you listen? Would you recognize it as help? Or, would you perceive it as abrasive, as a threat? (Actually, it is a threat, but not the in the way you might
think: Every values-driven thinker wants to threaten the status-quo, not you.
They want to help you.)</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What difference would it make in your
organization if you hired people who know how to achieve values-driven success and
you let them help you improve your:</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Culture?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Performance?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Profitability?</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<!--[if !supportLists]--></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>(Hint: The order of those last
three sub-bullet points is not coincidental.)</i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why am I asking these abrasive questions?</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am a veteran. I once left an organization by choice despite
great success with regard to results (performance, position, power). I was once
fired from an organization despite great success with achieving values-driven
success which exceeded everyone’s performance and profitability expectations
(even mine). It took me a long time to reconcile what happened but <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-birth-of-gps-theory.html" target="_blank">once I did</a>, I found the conviction to do something about it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have real reasons for my concern with bringing
values-driven thinkers into organizations that are primarily results-driven
because I have been experiencing the frustrations created by the conditions I
described for over 12 years in the corporate world. That’s why I started a
business focused on solving the problem. That's why I wrote a <a href="http://www.valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">book</a> about the problem and what every individual can do to change the world by thinking and acting according to real values.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today, I still work in a corporate environment because of
personal resource constraints and I have not yet created
the business model for helping others achieve values-driven success that can
provide a living wage. But, I get closer every day. <a href="https://exploreb2b.com/articles/quit-tomorrow" target="_blank">I keep working at it.</a> I remember what is most important to me. I do not accept the status quo and
I keep trying to do things that I can be satisfied with so I can find the
values-driven success I seek. I don't want to fit in, I want to help make things better. I know that kind of success can only come in the
form of helping others do the same.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Important questions for everyone. </span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>If you’re a
veteran or a values-driven thinker</i>, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">consider your answers to these questions </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> before you decide to accept a job offer. </span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What kind of success do you really want?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you know what to do to get it?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you willing to do what it takes?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tell the hard truths?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Listen to the hard truths?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Put your emotions aside and solve the real problems?</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>If you’re a
results-driven leader</i>, consider your answers to these questions before you decide to hire a veteran or values-driven thinker.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -.25in;">
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What kind of success <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2014/07/get-win-you-want-most-in-difficult.html" target="_blank">do you really want</a>?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you know what to do to get it?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you willing to do what it takes?</span></li>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tell the hard truths?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Listen to the hard truths?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Put your emotions aside and solve the real
problems?</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes. The questions for each group are the same. <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2014/10/what-every-person-on-this-planet-really.html" target="_blank">We all really want the same thing</a>- success. The key is to become aligned on the kind of success we seek. We can create a world, a culture, a company, a community, a family where the objective is the perfect blend of values and results; the perfect blend of life and work.</span><!--[if !supportLists]--><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is not what we have today. We must challenge the status quo.</span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo5; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Values-Driven Success.</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>BOOM!</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Tom Eakin</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>The Success Engineer, BoomLife</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 1.0in; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l1 level2 lfo5; text-indent: -.25in;">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-40235778538660941012014-10-22T06:53:00.001-05:002014-12-31T07:00:58.667-06:00Quit Tomorrow!<h1 class="head" style="border: 0px; color: #333333; font-family: ff-dagny-web-pro, Helvetica, Arial, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 24px; margin: 12px 0px 16px; padding: 0px 10px 0px 0px;">
<span class="maintitle" style="border: 0px; display: block; font-size: 30px; line-height: 32px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Quit Tomorrow!</span></h1>
<div class="excerpt" style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 20px; line-height: 26px; margin-bottom: 19px; margin-top: 2px; overflow: hidden; padding: 0px;">
Resistance to change in the status quo.<br />
People who don't think about why it's important to them.<br />
Indifference, fear of ambiguity, and the desire to get back into your comfort zone.<br />
Physical, mental and spiritual fatigue.<br />
Worry over damaging relationships.<br />
Uncertainty.<br />
All are conditions which exist everywhere, everyday. The overwhelming situation makes you want to quit trying to do something new and amazing, doesn't it?<br />
Quit tomorrow, then.</div>
<div class="image_teaser" style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
<img alt="The_rib_cracker" src="https://d3ubfbacrh79kl.cloudfront.net/system/images/122604/medium/The_Rib_Cracker.jpg?1413374165" style="border: 0px; color: transparent; font-size: 0px; margin: 0px; max-height: 400px; max-width: 529px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: middle;" /></div>
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<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
There I was: Day two of U.S. Army Ranger School at Fort Benning, Georgia. I hadn't slept in the past 48 hours. The entire time was filled unrelenting vigorous physical challenge in a program intended to weed out the weak. I was exhausted. I'd cracked two ribs on one of the sections of the obstacle course earlier that day. I hurt.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
The first four days of Ranger School is where 60% of dropouts occur. Our class had already lost a large number of strong, determined soldiers who'd prepared for months by sundown on day two.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
It had been a hot day and now that the sun had gone down the temperature was dipping into the 40's. We were on Malvesti Field slogging through the red Georgia clay. Malvesti Field is that place you always see on television. You know the scene, bald-headed soldiers crawling with their miserable faces pushed down in the mud beneath a ceiling of barbed wire. To add to my exhaustion and the ribs, which shot bolts of excruciating pain throughout my body everytime I raised my right arm over my shoulder, I now had what felt like a half-gallon of red Georgia clay underneath my eyelids. I was almost blind and trying to negotiate the challenges Malvesti and the Ranger Instructors (RI's) delivered while I begged my eyes to produce enough tears to wash out the sticky mud.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
While I pushed my body, there was a war going on in my head. I was thinking about the fact that it was only day two and I had over two months to go! I thought; with all of these forces lined up against me, if I am feeling this weak and vulnerable on day two, how can I possibly last? A feeling of despair came over me. I had a choice to make, hide my weakness, or tell someone about it in an environment full of the toughest people on the planet.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
I decided to take a risk.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
"I'm not sure I can make it through this course," I whispered to my Ranger buddy, Arjmandi. He was going through the same things I was. He also knew about my ribs and my eyes. </div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
"Come on, Eakin. I'm going to help you through this."</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
"No, I'm telling you. I'm not sure I can get through the next 60 days."</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
"Eakin, I'll make a deal with you. Get through tonight, with me, and we'll both quit tomorrow."</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
Getting through the night seemed possible. How much worse could it get? Besides, Arjmandi was going to help me. What if he needed me later on? I couldn't help him if I wasn't there, could I? I committed myself in the moment to that short-term goal. "OK. I'm with you, buddy."</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
"OK, Eakin, these RI's want to break us if they can. This next time through, let's scream like madmen and show them they can't break us."</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
"Roger that!"</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
We screamed like banshees! We laughed the whole way through the suck! We made it through every event that night brought us. For our efforts, we got a few hours of sleep that night.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
When we woke up, I looked at Arjmandi.</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
He was grinning from ear to ear. "You still going to quit tomorrow, Eakin?" </div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
I smiled back at him. "Yeah buddy, I'm going to quit tomorrow."</div>
<ul style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; list-style: square; margin: 0px 0px 19px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px;">When you're feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of your situation or the challenges you've taken on. Find something productive and meaningful you can focus on and do it.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px;">Remember, there is someone out there who believes in you and what you're doing. Lean on them when you need them. The love, brotherhood, and trust you create in those relationships will always be the core of your success.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px;">If you don't take a risk and ask for help, you won't get what you really want. Real strength is not shown in facing your problems alone, it comes from having the courage to let others know you need them. </li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px;">Sometimes you're the weakest, sometimes the strongest. Give what you can, when you can.</li>
<li style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 0px 30px; padding: 0px;">Quit tomorrow. Why? It is always today. Tomorrow never comes.</li>
</ul>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
I haven't talked to Arjmandi since we graduated from Ranger School in February, 1999 (Class 2-98), two months after he gave me this powerful gift. If I knew how to get in touch with him today, here's what I'd say:</div>
<div style="border: 0px; color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">"Thank you, Arjmandi, for being worthy of my trust in a time where I was most vulnerable. You taught me a lesson which has served me well and has helped me accomplish more than I ever thought possible. I will always love you like a brother for that. It's been fifteen years, but I still know I can count on you and that, my friend, is priceless. For you, and because of you, I will always quit tomorrow." </em></div>
<div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 19px; padding: 0px;">
<div style="color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
I hope this article finds you some day. When it does, drop me a line. We'll catch up.</div>
<div style="color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #292929; font-family: Georgia, Palatino, 'Palatino Linotype', FreeSerif, serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px;">
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">If you're tired of feeling overwhelmed by the challenges life throws at you, it's time to pick new challenges. Find people who will support you and show you the way. Download our </span><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/boomlife-personal-professional-success.html" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium; line-height: normal;" target="_blank">Success Planning Guide for FREE</a><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">! This guide is full of tools designed to help you through GPS Theory's process of changing the way you think and is a companion to my new book, </span><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/pre.html" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: medium; line-height: normal;" target="_blank">Finding Success: Get what you really want</a><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small; line-height: normal;">. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you're looking for inspiration, take a look at our </span><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/boomshare.html" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">BoomShare!</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> videos. We wanted to share stories about people who are inspired to do great things so we created this series of interviews. These people want to help people find success. Hear their stories and learn how you can connect with them...and help. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Tom Eakin</b></span></div>
<div style="color: black; font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: medium; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Success Engineer, BoomLife</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Author of <i><a href="http://www.valuesdrivensuccess.com/" target="_blank">Finding Success</a></i></b></span></div>
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</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-58726185175447831102014-10-12T12:45:00.004-05:002015-07-20T14:35:38.464-05:00What Every Person On This Planet Really Wants<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What Every Person On This Planet Really Wants</span></h2>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gKjmdRP_u6Q/VDq6Eu95qjI/AAAAAAAAFto/ev5Ieqec8k8/s1600/What%2BEveryone%2BOn%2BThis%2BPlanet%2BReally%2BWants.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-gKjmdRP_u6Q/VDq6Eu95qjI/AAAAAAAAFto/ev5Ieqec8k8/s1600/What%2BEveryone%2BOn%2BThis%2BPlanet%2BReally%2BWants.png" width="290" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you were to ask what one thing every person on this planet really wants, I could provide you an answer with complete confidence. There is not one person capable of rational thought on this planet who would disagree with this answer. It is a fact. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm not talking about what I believe. It's not about my faith (although my faith plays a role in it and vice versa...as does yours and what you believe). If you asked every human being on this planet if they wanted this one thing, they would say, "Yes," without even thinking about it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ask the rich and the poor. Male and female. Ask a Wall Street investor and a Yanomami tribe member if they want it and they'll both answer in the affirmative. Ask professional athletes, spiritual advisors, corporate leaders, homeless people, healthy people, sick people. Ask buyers. Ask sellers. Ask everyone! Ask anyone. People of all colors, shapes and sizes will all say, "Yes. I want that." </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, get on with it, you're saying, "What is it, already!?!"</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The answer is simple: Success. Every living person on this planet really wants to be successful.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What Is It?</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ever since I started talking about success in public forums, every time I've asked the question, "What is success," at least one person in the audience will say, "Getting what you want." Once having heard that simplification of the definition, typically everyone else pretty much agrees. If you <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/success?s=t" target="_blank">look up the word "success" in the dictionary</a>, you'll find several definitions which collectively support that simple view. So, let's go with that, for now. Success is getting what you want.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Problem With It</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The problem with defining success as "getting what you want" is every one of us uses a different path to define it. Not only that, we often use a different method of determining how to achieve it in each situation we find ourselves in. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As we all try to get what we want, we're competing with each other in a world where resources are constrained and unevenly distributed. So naturally, trying to get what we want creates conflict. Things escalate from there. The magnitude of every conflict is based on the scale of the disparity and the strength of the desire each person or group has to get and keep what they want. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">W</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">hen we're primarily driven to get what we want, we lose sight of what we really want. Every person wants to be perceived in a positive way which means we desire for others to see our actions as "good".</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><script async="" src="//assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js" type="text/javascript"></script></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TkBIOHQoeck/UiiggMe6tBI/AAAAAAAABIA/pffDavjGUuU/s1600/BoomLife-%2BCHANGE!.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TkBIOHQoeck/UiiggMe6tBI/AAAAAAAABIA/pffDavjGUuU/s1600/BoomLife-%2BCHANGE!.png" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The moment I realized this fact, my whole life changed. I became obsessed with trying to understand the concept of success so I could be successful. Isn't it ironic that the one thing every single one of us wants is also the cause of all of the problems we face?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My own experience with this universal, but preventable human problem, inspired me to find a solution that could help anyone who wants to find success. I recognized I couldn't, and shouldn't, try to make everyone want the same things. So, I focused finding a way to define it in a meaningful way that can be consistently applied to every situation we face and then measure our progress as we take actions to live out our values. <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-birth-of-gps-theory.html" target="_blank">From</a><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-birth-of-gps-theory.html" target="_blank"> a critical moment in my own life, GPS Theory was born.</a> </span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Solution For It</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I propose a simple addition to the definition of success because, in truth, trying only to get what we want isn't enough for any of us. Every one of us has our fill of the problems this world brings. The truth is, we create those for each other and if we really want that to change we must learn to define success in a different way. That's where values-driven success comes in. </span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Values-driven success is "getting what you want and being the person you want to be." Here's the catch: You can't really get what you want when you are not first the person you want to be. GPS Theory helps you get both. I didn't change the definition of success, I added a component and a new ideal to strive for.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GPS Theory operates under the hypothesis that our values represent what is virtuous and "good" when it comes to human beings.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our behaviors are a reflection of what we truly value which does not always accurately reflect what we say we do. The definition of values-driven success helps us think in a way that will lead to getting what we really want.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><u>Think</u>ing leads to <u>act</u>ion. Our actions are what we <u>be</u>come. THINK. ACT. BE. (<a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/09/three-simple-words-path-to-success.html" target="_blank">See my article on three synonymous words, Know. Do. Be.</a><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/09/three-simple-words-path-to-success.html" target="_blank"> and how they are the path to success</a>)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How to Apply the Solution</span></h3>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Think about the person you want to be and the things you want. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Do things that will reflect that person while you strive to get what you want. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. Become driven by your values and you will get what you really want with conviction and tenacity.</span><br />
<br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you don't get what you want, your values will drive you to keep trying. Because you believe in what you're doing you can <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/07/why-are-people-afraid-of-success.html" target="_blank">overcome the fears that keep you from getting what you really want</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When your values inspire you to do things you can be satisfied with as you strive to realize the results you seek, you can get what you really want. </span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you'd like to learn more about this process, download our <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/boomlife-personal-professional-success.html" target="_blank">Success Planning Guide for FREE</a>! This guide is full of tools designed to help you through GPS Theory's process and is a companion to my new book, <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/pre.html" target="_blank">Finding Success: Get what you really want</a>. </span><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At BoomLife We Want To Share Values-Driven Success</span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you're looking for inspiration, take a look at our </span><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/boomshare.html" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">BoomShare!</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> videos. We wanted to share stories about people who are inspired to do great things so we created this series of interviews. These people want to help people find success. Hear their stories and learn how you can connect with them...and help. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>If you know someone who is doing great things to help others in meaningful ways, we'd appreciate it if you'd make an introduction so we can connect and feature their story in a future <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/boomshare.html" target="_blank">BoomShare! </a>episode. You can email your submission to: <a href="mailto:tom@goboomlife.com">tom@goboomlife.com or use the comment section, below.</a></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/boomshare.html" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;" target="_blank"><img border="0" height="252" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4kkcXUU59iY/VDqymVccH7I/AAAAAAAAFtY/yWp-GGf3c5E/s1600/BoomShare!.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-59337618161241075822014-09-19T12:12:00.001-05:002014-11-28T09:41:38.468-06:00The Sun Has No Comfort Zone<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Sun Has No Comfort Zone</span></h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you believe you have a great idea? Do you have a dream?</span><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your idea does not become something great until you've shared it with the people in the world around you and it helps them in some meaningful way. </span></h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, you may fail at first. The first time you try to share it, you might not actually help anyone. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perhaps the idea doesn't work quite right and needs to be redesigned or tweaked. Failure hurts, but it provides a signal that you need to put forth more thought, more effort, more of yourself.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perhaps, you're presenting it in a way people aren't willing to accept...yet...so they reject it. Rejection can be painful in a soul-scraping way</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Failure and rejection create two questions. Each question creates a different path and you need to choose which one you'll answer:</span><br />
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Why don't they like my idea?</i></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>What do I need to do make my idea recognizably helpful to them?</i></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The first question will take you down the path to becoming <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/07/why-are-people-afraid-of-success.html" target="_blank">afraid of success</a>. It will lead you to think the idea has failed and you'll feel rejected because it was a part of you. You will not like the pain you feel and will want to protect yourself from it in the future. You'll feel overwhelmed by the challenge of helping the unwilling and crawl back into your comfort zone. You like it in that place of comfort and you won't try again so you'll decide to stay. You'll become complacent.</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The second question compels you to focus on the problem you need to solve. It provides you with a forward path that helps you get past the pain the failure creates (oh yes, you'll still feel the pain). You will think about why solving the problem is important to you. Conviction will drive you to take the next step. You will shine your idea out to the world again, only it will be better.</span><br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Protecting yourself from future pain if your idea, your dream, does not immediately come true only ensures you will not make it come true.</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Think about this. Help can only be given to living beings. The Sun only helps one planet out of the eight in our Solar System (sorry, Pluto). The first two planets reached by it's rays are therefore not helped so it fails at it's first two attempts to be helpful. 87.5% of the planets it shares it's light with reject any help it tries to provide.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Aren't you thankful the Sun has no Comfort Zone?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--_Pc97zdkSk/VBwkPnKbDII/AAAAAAAAFlY/z11CEmvDUQ8/s1600/What%2Bif%2Bthe%2BSun.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--_Pc97zdkSk/VBwkPnKbDII/AAAAAAAAFlY/z11CEmvDUQ8/s1600/What%2Bif%2Bthe%2BSun.png" height="468" width="640" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It looks pretty cold out there, doesn't it? <a data-pin-color="red" data-pin-do="buttonBookmark" data-pin-height="28" href="https://www.pinterest.com/pin/create/button/" nbsp=""><img src="//assets.pinterest.com/images/pidgets/pinit_fg_en_rect_red_28.png" /></a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><!-- Please call pinit.js only once per page --></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><script async="" src="//assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js" type="text/javascript"></script></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GPiXgoQUmos/VAYKibznxnI/AAAAAAAAFbM/4YitnZR9-LI/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GPiXgoQUmos/VAYKibznxnI/AAAAAAAAFbM/4YitnZR9-LI/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" height="200" width="128" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><b>Shine your light. Find the way.</b><br />
<b>Find the willing.</b><br />
<b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/f.html" target="_blank">PRE-ORDER FINDING SUCCESS NOW!</a></b><br />
<div>
<br /></div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What life-giving opportunities do you miss by keeping your idea, your dream, protected in your Comfort Zone?</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I wrote my book, <i>Finding Success: Get What You Really Want? </i>to help people use <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-birth-of-gps-theory.html" target="_blank">GPS Theory</a> to <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/weve-created-application-that-helps-you.html" target="_blank">ask themselves the best questions</a> so they can focus on the challenges they need solutions to and find the the conviction to overcome failure. </span></div>
<div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's my way of shining my light so I can find the way to help people in meaningful ways.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Tom Eakin</b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Success Engineer, BoomLife</b></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-60244285767529036872014-09-07T14:41:00.004-05:002014-09-16T16:14:52.716-05:00Tear Away the "Veneer of Uncomfortable Truths"<br />
<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tear Away the "Veneer of Uncomfortable Truths"</span></h2>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3c7vIJ-rbBA/VAy3nnLm8iI/AAAAAAAAFgI/DmYZ8B2lfaA/s1600/Colin%2BGrant-%2BThe%2BSon%2Bof%2Ba%2BDifficult%2BFather.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3c7vIJ-rbBA/VAy3nnLm8iI/AAAAAAAAFgI/DmYZ8B2lfaA/s1600/Colin%2BGrant-%2BThe%2BSon%2Bof%2Ba%2BDifficult%2BFather.png" height="251" width="320" /></a><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is a courageous person, indeed, who is willing to break down the illusions we often turn into "truths". I wanted to share a few quotes from the moving and courageous human story in this TEDx video. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here are a few points to watch out for in the story:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~7:42- "The old adage, 'With age comes wisdom,' is not true. With age comes the veneer of respectability and a veneer of uncomfortable truths." </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">~17:45- "There are no such things as facts. There are only versions. We all tell ourselves the version of the story we can best live with. Each...builds up an edifice which they are reluctant to, or sometimes unable to, disassemble."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/05jJodDVJRQ?rel=0" width="560"></iframe></span><br />
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<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05jJodDVJRQ&feature=em-subs_digest"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05jJodDVJRQ&feature=em-subs_digest</span></a><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A veneer, like a facade, is designed to hide the truth about something...or someone. <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b>Finding Success</b><br />
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you willing to tear away the "veneer" with which you cover your "uncomfortable truths" about who you are and what you can be so you can live the life you dreamed of when you were a kid?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-Tom</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>If you're the kind of person who wants to find the kind of satisfaction that only comes from living by your values sign up for BoomLife's mailing list, below. </b>We'll keep you informed on when are where you can get my upcoming book, <i>Finding Success</i> and what we're doing at BoomLife to help people find values-driven success with GPS Theory.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-39605728267123068652014-08-28T09:57:00.001-05:002014-12-17T15:51:18.424-06:00The Agony & The Ecstasy Of Being Genuinely Me<h2 style="height: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Agony & The Ecstasy Of Being Genuinely Me</span></h2>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyone who has created anything understands what I mean when I say there is both agony and ecstasy in sharing oneself with the world. I am experiencing these two emotions as I prepare my first book, <i><a href="http://bookpresspublishing.com/books-Eakin.html" target="_blank">Finding Success: Get What You Really Want</a>, </i>for publishing.</span></div>
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mA7J_VcktUk/U_89oRp93rI/AAAAAAAAFWE/CH_Ik4BJkOY/s1600/MV5BMTgzNzIyOTE3Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTU4NjcyMQ%40%40._V1_SY317_CR4%2C0%2C214%2C317_AL_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mA7J_VcktUk/U_89oRp93rI/AAAAAAAAFWE/CH_Ik4BJkOY/s1600/MV5BMTgzNzIyOTE3Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTU4NjcyMQ%40%40._V1_SY317_CR4%2C0%2C214%2C317_AL_.jpg" height="200" width="135" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source:<br />
<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058886/">http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058886/</a></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">About twenty years ago, I read Irving Stone's, <i><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/321552.The_Agony_and_the_Ecstasy" target="_blank">The Agony and the Ecstasy: A biographical novel of Michelangelo</a> (it was also made into a <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058886/" target="_blank">1965 movie with the same title starring Charlton Heston and Rex Harrison</a>). </i>Michelangelo has always been one of my favorite artists because he changed the way the world looked at art. You see, Michelangelo painted people differently than anyone else. He showed the human form in a way no one in his culture had ever seen before in works of art. He depicted the curves and shadows formed by muscle and bone structures and it brought his subjects to life. He accomplished this by illegally learning about how the human body is formed through the dissection of human cadavers. Michelangelo risked severe punishment to improve his art. He took this risk because the culture he lived in forbade the level of learning he sought about the human body.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When he shared his new work with the world, I can imagine how Michelangelo agonized over whether people would accept his work and the ecstasy that comes from believing you are creating something that helps humanity take another step toward an understanding of the truth about each and every one of us.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These thoughts occurred to me this morning and I wanted to share them. I am in ecstasy over the work I've done to create <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2014/03/can-you-fathom-your-thoughts-into-one.html" target="_blank">a system that helps people find values-driven success in their personal, professional, and organizational lives</a>. Yet, I agonize. I am sharing myself, the person I've been and the person I want to become. With <i><a href="http://bookpresspublishing.com/books-Eakin.html" target="_blank">Finding Success</a></i> and with <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/weve-created-application-that-helps-you.html" target="_blank">GPS Theory</a> I am asking all of humanity to do the same. I am challenging the status quo.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">in December, 2014</b><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I agonize over the fear that no one will value the ecstasy of being genuine more than the deceptive comfort one perceives from avoiding the agony of being ignored or rejected. I have a deep concern that no one will be willing to even consider the question, but the ecstasy I feel in delivering what I believe will genuinely help people think about and see success differently so they can <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/10/can-she-really-fly-with-her-feet.html" target="_blank">live the lives they dreamed of when they were children</a> powerfully overcomes <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/07/why-are-people-afraid-of-success.html" target="_blank">the following fears</a>:</span></div>
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<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Outside of my circle of family and friends, virtually nobody knows me. How will I be able to find the people who need...and want... the help I can provide with GPS Theory to help them satisfy their craving for success?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have proven time and again that I am not very good at marketing. How will I be able to find the people who can help me make </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Finding Success </i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a success?</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I honestly do not know the answers to those two questions? I am scared to death I may never find them. But, I will invest my self, my love, my time and my resources tirelessly into this work because whether they are the answers I want, or not, I will get answers from the people in my world. I am trusting in them (in you). I will learn. I will react and adapt. I will keep trying. I will always get back up. I will never give up. Because I have conviction, I am committed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Conviction comes from what you believe in. I walk my path feeling both the agony and ecstasy that comes from believing </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://bookpresspublishing.com/books-Eakin.html" target="_blank">Finding Success</a></i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> and with </span><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/weve-created-application-that-helps-you.html" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;" target="_blank">GPS Theory</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> are the most powerful and positive gifts to humanity I can give. I present them from a position of love. They are a part of what is genuinely me. My greatest hope is my creations will help people share their genuine self with the people in their world so they can experience the values-driven success that comes from relationships based on <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2014/05/in-memorial-of-whats-been-lost.html" target="_blank">love, brotherhood and trust</a>. It starts with you. Thank you for reading this.</span></div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-90493273694768123922014-07-21T14:17:00.002-05:002014-07-22T06:47:40.005-05:00Help Real Change Agents Help Themselves<h2>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">HELP REAL CHANGE AGENTS HELP THEMSELVES</span></h2>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-z4dLNoO4vwc/U81nND8QDFI/AAAAAAAAFKE/stFqXquNYYo/s1600/Wrench.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-z4dLNoO4vwc/U81nND8QDFI/AAAAAAAAFKE/stFqXquNYYo/s1600/Wrench.jpg" height="170" width="640" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I've observed many leaders say they're looking for
a change agent. I believe anyone who wants to hire someone to lead the change
they want to see in their organization doesn’t really know what they want. The
conviction and tenacity needed to lead change requires three influencing
factors:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A real vision, based on true passion, of what the
organization can accomplish.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Belief in the mission and <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/12/create-magic-for-every-stakeholder.html" target="_blank">the value-propositions it represents for all stakeholders</a>.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A sufficient amount of dissatisfaction in the status quo.</span></li>
</ol>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I recently worked with a woman who is a real change agent.
She had recently let her frustration get the best of her at work. She had been given a disciplinary warning because her actions were perceived as unacceptable. I was asked to coach her because <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/07/what-you-do-speaks-so-loudly-gps-theory.html" target="_blank">h</a></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/07/what-you-do-speaks-so-loudly-gps-theory.html" target="_blank">er behaviors in the incident distracted everyone from her message</a>. No one was quite sure how what to do next to resolve the situation.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> In other
words, the company recognized the value she created for them and wanted her to
continue to contribute but they didn't really know what to do with her.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I reviewed the facts that had been gathered before I met with her. Then, I listened to her side of the story. When I first told her I believed she was a change agent, she
denied it. She shook her head and said, “I just want to do my job.” I believe this
denial was based on the repercussions of the incident and she was losing sight
of the big picture.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I asked her, “So, what were you trying to accomplish that day?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“When I see someone doing something I know is not right, I
just want to help them understand what they can do differently. How can we ever
get better if no one is willing to listen?” I could tell the incident was
caused by the frustration that built up over time due to what she perceived as collective
indifference toward continuous improvement. I believe her behavior in the
incident was caused by her inability to resolve the conflict created by that
indifference.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TdYMQ3exvq4/U81eNXAm1ZI/AAAAAAAAFI8/zKyyutASV38/s1600/Clamped.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-TdYMQ3exvq4/U81eNXAm1ZI/AAAAAAAAFI8/zKyyutASV38/s1600/Clamped.jpg" height="211" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As she spoke I observed her frustration create energy that
needed to expend itself through the change in her voice, the tears in her eyes,
and her body language.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“OK, so you say you just want to do your job. When I see and
hear the most passion from you, it’s related to making things better. So, what
do you think your job is?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I could tell she was caught between two conflicting thought
processes: one was telling her to play it safe like she’d been trying to do so
the aftermath of the incident would go away; the other was making the
connection between what I was saying and the reason why we were talking in the
first place. “Let me ask the question in a different way. You are highly
skilled at what you do and the company needs those skills. But, do you really
believe your job is only performing tasks requiring those skills? Is that really how you believe you will create real and lasting value for this company?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She couldn't help the smile that appeared on her face
despite the tears, “No.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Are you a change agent?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Yes. I am.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Outstanding! Now, let’s focus on how you can do your job in
this organization. The truth is they know they need you but they can’t
recognize the value-propositions you present them. You need a plan for how you're going to change that.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">By the way, this woman wasn't even in a leadership position but I knew she could drive positive change if she had the right kind of support.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THE TRUTH ABOUT CHANGE AGENTS</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7-wGwQ2V-Ao/U81exe1QphI/AAAAAAAAFJI/2WPj264P_Ww/s1600/Gears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7-wGwQ2V-Ao/U81exe1QphI/AAAAAAAAFJI/2WPj264P_Ww/s1600/Gears.jpg" height="320" width="228" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Real change agents are everywhere and they can't be satisfied unless they are
helping drive continuous improvement. They are inspired to drive change when
they recognize gaps between the value-propositions the organization states it
wants to fulfill and current performance. They just can't help themselves. They are compelled. The incremental
value their ideas can create for the organization are significant and logical
and they believe the only way to communicate the opportunity is to be direct. </span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> The problem is, you're</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> so distracted by how their frustration affects the manner in which they communicate that you can't see the opportunity, you only feel the discomfort their words and actions create for you and the people around you. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your desire to eliminate the
discomfort drives you to do something. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Because it seems easier to silence the wheel that makes the most noise than to change out or re-align the defective parts that make it
squeak you miss the real opportunities and sacrifice the improvements that come from incremental change for the illusion of peace you associate with preserving
the status quo. Maintaining the status quo in a world that is constantly changing
is a recipe for disaster. So, what can you do?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you want real and lasting success, the key is recognizing
real change agents and how to help them manage their frustration as they try to
pull people out of their comfort zones.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">HOW TO RECOGNIZE A REAL CHANGE AGENT </span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ku4AQKE8irs/U81doh-qTQI/AAAAAAAAFIs/ylFWYD2eOQw/s1600/Abrasive.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Ku4AQKE8irs/U81doh-qTQI/AAAAAAAAFIs/ylFWYD2eOQw/s1600/Abrasive.jpg" height="320" width="228" /></a>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They are typically very skilled.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They tend to learn new jobs very quickly.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They ask a lot of questions.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They initially gain credibility quickly then lose it
incrementally over time as they challenge the status quo with more and more
colleagues.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They are eventually perceived as pushy and abrasive. Others
tend to complain about them and will say things like this about them, “He
should just stay in his lane and worry about his own job, not about how I’m
doing mine,” or “She doesn't have the experience I have. Besides, this is the
way I've been doing it for years.”</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They are often the frustrated ones. They perceive no one
else seems to care about the opportunities for improvement. They become
impatient with the lack of positive change which drives them to lash out.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They don't give up. They keep pushing their ideas up the
ladder with the hope that someone with authority will lead the changes
necessary to improve performance and the culture. They continue to try to make
their point because they believe in their message even when they're getting in
trouble for the manner in which they've delivered it.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">HOW TO HELP A REAL CHANGE AGENT</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">1. Typically, you will become aware of a change agent who is
not effectively working with others in one of two ways: They complain to you
about how nobody wants to change or somebody else complains about them. Ask
yourself- If I separate their message from the frustrated emotions they express
while they're delivering it, do I understand it agree? (I’m asking you to
ignore their inappropriate behavior for a moment. We will come back to that)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">a. If your answer is yes, go to Step
2. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">b. If your answer is no, ask more
questions for clarification and repeat Step 1 until one of the following
occurs:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in; text-indent: .5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">You understand
and agree. Go to Step 2.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;">You can’t
understand and agree no matter how hard you try. You may have a change agent
whose values do not align with the organization. Go to Step 2.b.</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">2. Ask yourself- Has this person violated any organizational
policies on acceptable behaviors in the workplace during a specific incident because of their frustration?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> a. If you
don’t know, you need to investigate further until you come up with a definitive
yes or no answer. Gather more facts from people involved in the incident (who, what, when, where, how).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;"> b. If your answer is yes, you must
address the unacceptable behaviors. Follow your organizations disciplinary
process then go to Step 3. This is important if you want to help this change
agent learn how to be effective without compromising their position. You must
give them the opportunity to recognize their greatest opportunity for creating
value is to change the way they react to what they perceive to be wrong.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> c. If
your answer is no, go to Step 3.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">3. It’s important to not steal the change agent’s initiative.
If you want to create a continuous improvement culture you must help them
become influential with their colleagues. At this point, whether they've displayed unacceptable behaviors or not, their actions have distracted everyone
from the value-proposition and their co-workers will be reluctant to work with them <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/12/how-to-perform-first-aid-on-conflict.html" target="_blank">if they don't resolve the conflict</a>. If you try to influence that you will only alienate them further. It’s
time to help the change agent define what they really want.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> a. <i>Ask
them</i>- Which damaged relationship is most important resolve for you to get back
on track and work toward the change you want to realize?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;"> b. <i>Ask them</i>- What behavior have you displayed in
past interactions with them that you’d like to change?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 48px;"> c. <i>Ask them</i>-
What exactly does that person do when you bring up improvement opportunities
and which creates an emotional reaction in you?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 48px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 48px;"> d. <i>Ask
them</i>- How does their reaction make you feel?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 48px;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> e. <i>Ask
them</i>- What reaction would you like to see in the future?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: 0.5in;"> f. <i>Ask them</i>- How do you want to work
with them from now on?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">4. Prepare them for a conversation focused on resolving the
conflict. Help the change agent craft a message with their target audience by
having them fill in the following statements:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">______________(Answer
to 3.a.), I recognize my behavior was unacceptable when I ______________(Answer
to 3.b.). I’d like to apologize and think it’s important we talk about what
happened. Are you willing to talk about it? (We will assume the answer from the
other party is yes).<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you
___________________(Answer to 3.c.) it makes me feel _________________(Answer
to 3.d.). In the future, I’d appreciate it if you could ______________(Answer
to 3.e.) so we can _________________.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">5. Prepare them on how to manage the conversation by
developing strategies for the following scenarios:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> a. <i>Ask them</i>- How will you proceed if
the other party indicates they want to work with you in the manner you’ve asked
them to?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> b. <i>Ask them</i>- How will you end the
conversation without making things worse if they indicate they do not want to
work with you in the manner you’ve asked them to?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">6. Give them the assignment- Set a date and time when you
will meet with the change agent again. Communicate your expectation that they
will have the conversation they prepared for in Steps 3 & 4.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">7. Reconvene on the agreed upon date and time from Step 5.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> a. <i>Ask
them</i>- What was your plan?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> b. <i>Ask
them</i>- Did you get the results you needed?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: .5in;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If yes, congratulate them on their
success! Celebrate! Then, <i>ask them</i> what their next step is. If they need to have
a similar conversation with other employees have them repeat Steps 3 through 6 focusing on what worked well and what they can do better as they repeat the process.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If no, ask them what they believe
the next step is and what they need to do differently to get the results they need. Remember, not to take responsibility for resolving the
situation for them.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E_jrAf8JdvM/U81iv9PPtJI/AAAAAAAAFJ0/IJTu9yXlnow/s1600/Leaping.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-E_jrAf8JdvM/U81iv9PPtJI/AAAAAAAAFJ0/IJTu9yXlnow/s1600/Leaping.jpg" height="233" width="640" /></a></div>
</span></li>
</ul>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Helping real change agents in your organization can set the conditions for huge leaps toward realizing the changes you'd like to see through continuous
improvement. Your role as the leader is to define the objectives and provide
the resources required to achieve them. The steps listed above are intended to
provide you with a strategy you can use
to provide any real change agent with the resources they need to facilitate
change while establishing (or rebuilding) working relationships with the people
they need to be successful at helping your organization realize your vision.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: red; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>BOOM!</b></span></div>
<div style="text-indent: -24px;">
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Tom Eakin</b></span></div>
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Success Engineer, BoomLife</b></span></div>
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-39634890233713517622014-07-12T13:17:00.003-05:002014-09-16T16:16:19.824-05:00Get the Win You Want Most In a Difficult Situation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gSsjq11keVQ/U8Fymwaq-8I/AAAAAAAAE60/DlQ-p300zBM/s1600/Danger+thin+ice.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gSsjq11keVQ/U8Fymwaq-8I/AAAAAAAAE60/DlQ-p300zBM/s1600/Danger+thin+ice.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GET THE WIN YOU WANT MOST IN A DIFFICULT SITUATION</span></h2>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Giving corrective feedback or telling someone something they
don’t want to hear isn't easy and it’s difficult to see how you can get the win
you want if you value the relationship with the person you are delivering
difficult news to. But, it’s not as painful as it appears when you learn how to
watch out for a few signals that indicate you're making it harder than it is.
The good news is the signals come from you. The bad news is, the signals come from you and they’re not always easy for you to see. <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/07/what-you-do-speaks-so-loudly-gps-theory.html" target="_blank">Just remember the people you interact with can see them</a>.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THESE SIGNALS TELL YOU WHY YOU MAY NOT GET THE WIN YOU
WANT</span></h3>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The other day, a friend of mine asked me to help her write
up a disciplinary action. There are a few things I know about my friend. For
one, she has a powerful aversion for conflict. She wanted help with a few
specific sections of the form before she had the difficult discussion with the
employee. I was glad to see she was taking the time to prepare and happy to
help. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">As we worked, I noticed two tendencies which signified my
friend was making the process harder on herself than it needed to be:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TLgJf7TTW5Y/U8Fk_g8gGTI/AAAAAAAAE5Q/n-917J0Z7-A/s1600/Caution.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TLgJf7TTW5Y/U8Fk_g8gGTI/AAAAAAAAE5Q/n-917J0Z7-A/s1600/Caution.jpg" height="133" width="200" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">1.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Each time we made definitive statements about
the expectations of the employee going forward, she would verbalize
counter-arguments as if she knew what the employee would say in response.</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> For
example, as we worked on communicating her expectations for the employee I’d
suggest a statement like, “If you would like guidance and support in rebuilding
and sustaining professional working relationships with your colleagues who were
affected by this incident, please feel free to contact us. Any conversations
relating to these efforts will be kept strictly confidential.” As soon as she
finished typing the statement she put down her hands, her shoulders sagged, and
she said, “She’s not going to believe me, because everybody was talking about
this incident.” I sensed she was rationalizing to give herself an excuse to
avoid saying what she needed to say because she couldn't craft a message the employee would accept outright. <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/07/why-are-people-afraid-of-success.html" target="_blank">This signal indicated my friend wascompromising her message with logic confounded by her aversion to conflict</a>. There is no way to deliver a
difficult message that will be accepted without resistance.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">2.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;"> <b>
</b></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When it was time to communicate the consequence
of the employee’s actions in the incident, she would tangent to another topic
that appeared to be related, but wasn’t.</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
For example, I'd ask my friend what she wanted to do and she'd tell me
about how she believed the incident negatively affected other employees rather
than answer the question directly. I could tell she was evading the question
because once she stated the consequence she'd be compelled to follow through
and deliver it. Saying things about what you intend to do out loud to other people commits you that way. Her avoidance to clearly state the consequence was a signal
that my friend was placing more value on maintaining the status quo in her
relationship with the employee than on holding her accountable for her
unacceptable behaviors.</span></span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">WHAT THE SIGNALS MEAN</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HSSESTjf8_o/U8FzKdO94-I/AAAAAAAAE7M/T9j9IOl3YxM/s1600/Walk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-HSSESTjf8_o/U8FzKdO94-I/AAAAAAAAE7M/T9j9IOl3YxM/s1600/Walk.jpg" height="320" width="228" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Regarding my friend's concern that the message wouldn’t be one
hundred percent valid in the employee’s eyes, I asked, “Was everybody talking
about the incident because you leaked the information you gathered in your
discussions with the people involved? Or, was it because several of the employees
you interviewed talked about it with their coworkers even though you'd asked
them not to?” </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She indicated the correct answer was the latter. I asked her if
she recognized she couldn't control what other people said. Sure, the integrity
of the investigation was compromised by some other employees and that was an
unfortunate fact. However, that fact didn't compromise my friend’s personal
integrity or her ability to make logical decisions going forward. She processed
my questions and I watched as she moved her hands back to the keyboard as if prepared to
continue.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I steered the conversation back to the part of the
exercise she'd been avoiding and asked my friend how she wanted to communicate
the consequence to the employee. She gave me two half-answers. “Half of me just
wants to tell her she will need to fix the relationships she’s damaged and move
on. The other half believes this should be a written warning.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I replied, “In my opinion, the facts you’ve gathered
indicate her behaviors warrant a written warning and she needs to take
responsibility for mending the relationships if she truly wants to be a valued
and productive member of her team. Tell me why you can't give her both of those messages?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Hmmmm, I can, but...” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">WHAT WIN DO YOU WANT MOST? </span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My friend forgot what win she wanted most when she became
distracted by rationalizations driven by her aversion to conflict. I believe my
friend cares very deeply about creating a culture where conflict can be
resolved. She wants people to be able to negotiate through disagreements and
work with each other productively. She wants people to see her as a person who
consistently provides them with the support they need to resolve conflicts. She
wants the organization to have great teams comprised of good people who know
how to work off each other’s strengths. I believe she wants all of those great things.
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, what was holding my friend back from delivering the
difficult message that was critical to getting the employee back on track? What
was keeping her from making an effective decision on the consequence? Her
aversion to conflict drove her to seek the path that would create no friction
between her and the employee. In addition to all of the great things she wanted
for the organization, my friend also wanted the employee to like what she had
to say and in this case the only way to accomplish that was to avoid delivering
the message that was needed most. Her avoidance and rationalization were
leading her toward the win she didn't really want because it wasn't really a
win, it only looked like one.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I asked her, “<a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-birth-of-gps-theory.html" target="_blank">What do you wan</a><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/08/the-birth-of-gps-theory.html" target="_blank">t</a> more in this situation, to help
her understand that she needs to change how she reacts to other employees in
order to continue to work here, or, what you think will make her walk away
feeling good about you?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-H7x9vX0pG4k/U8Fjd0HHnQI/AAAAAAAAE5E/eBOZEmV-6r8/s1600/Solution.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-H7x9vX0pG4k/U8Fjd0HHnQI/AAAAAAAAE5E/eBOZEmV-6r8/s1600/Solution.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I watched as my friend thought about the question. She sat
up a little more straight, “I want her to hear and understand that she needs to
change.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I nodded, “Always remember that every situation represents a
value-proposition for everyone involved. In other words, everyone wants to get the
win they think they want. Right now, you need to decide what win you want the
most. Yes, it’s nice when people are happy with you, it certainly sounds like a
win. But do you believe it’s a win if you need to compromise the principles you
believe in to get it? What kind of problems will you create by focusing your
efforts on making sure she'll like you when she walks away from the
conversation? Is that really the win you want?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She thought about that for a second. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“I get all that. But, how
can upsetting her make things better?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">“Your task is to deliver a message that will help the
organization get better. Focus on the message you need her to hear and you'll end up with a win either way. If she accepts the consequences and makes the
changes she needs to, her team gets better. If she doesn’t accept the
consequences and your expectations, it means her values don’t align with the
culture you want. She may decide to leave or she may eventually get terminated if
she doesn’t change her behaviors in which case her team still gets better. So,
what message do you want her to hear?” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She didn't answer me with spoken words. The sound the
keyboard buttons made as her fingers typed told me which win she wanted most. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Another
thing I know about my friend is she does not lack the courage to do what she
believes in. Conviction creates the power to overcome fear. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I could tell she no longer wanted to pursue the impossible task of
trying to make sure the employee liked her at the cost of the principles she
believed in. She needed to give the employee the opportunity to decide whether she
wanted to make the changes necessary to be a valued member of her team. By
choosing the win she really wanted, my friend found the will to disrupt the
status quo and compel the employee to change how she interacted with her team
in positive ways. As I left my friend to her work, I noticed she was sitting up
straight in her chair, exuding the kind of confidence that can only come with
conviction.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">FIVE SIMPLE STEPS TO GET THE WIN YOU WANT</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2tmjZ027cCU/U8FzqtQIG5I/AAAAAAAAE7c/W79ooO_NwFk/s1600/Steps.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2tmjZ027cCU/U8FzqtQIG5I/AAAAAAAAE7c/W79ooO_NwFk/s1600/Steps.jpg" height="320" width="317" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Having difficult conversations is never easy because they
force you to change the status quo for yourself and the other person. Following
these simple steps can help you make it as easy as it possibly can be:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">1.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Prepare</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-
Do this consistently. The worst results I've reaped in difficult conversations always occurred when I wasn't</span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> prepared. Always go to Step #2 anytime you find yourself
in a difficult situation and don't respond until you have prepared by following
all of these steps. You always want to respond as quickly as possible but it is
so important to know your response can lead to the win you want. In other
words, don't dilly-dally to avoid, but take the time to prepare so you can act
with conviction.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">2.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Define
the Problem</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">- Conflict occurs when two or more parties seek value
propositions which are either at odds with each other in principle (values are
not aligned as evidenced by words, actions or behaviors) or in situations where
there are not enough resources to satisfy everyone’s desires. Think:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">What value-proposition is at stake for you?<br /> </span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">For the other party?</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">3.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Define
the value-proposition you seek</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">- Before you enter the fray make sure the
battle is worth fighting. Ask yourself, “<a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2014/03/can-you-fathom-your-thoughts-into-one.html" target="_blank">What result do I really want and willgetting it in the manner I’m planning align with my own values?</a>”</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">If the answer to the second part of the question
is, “Yes,” then you know you can proceed to Step #4 with conviction.</span></li>
<li><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If the answer to the second part of the question
is, “No,” then go back to Step #2; keep thinking about the problem, the value-proposition
you want and your plan. If you can't ever get to a “Yes,” then ask yourself if you're seeking something you really don't want. Don't make things worse by
continuing to Step #4 until you are willing to get what you want without
compromising your values. Otherwise, you'll be on a path to doing something you'll regret.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">4.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Define
the message you need the other party to hear</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">- Write it down! Here are a few
options, you determine which method will work best in your situation:</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
</div>
<ul>
<li><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Memory- </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">I
recommend this option least. Conflicts are stressful. There is a high
probability you will not remember exactly what you want to say if you rely only
on your memory. Use this option only as a last resort.</span></li>
<li><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Bullet
Points</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">- Use this option if you feel confident enough to speak clearly while
using an outline to guide you through the points you need to make in a
stressful conversation. At the very least, you'll have the cues you need to
remember each point you need to make.</span></span></li>
<li><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Prepared Statement</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">-
Writing out the statement you need the other party to hear can help you think
through not only what you want to say but how you can say it most directly and
effectively. When you have the time, this is a great way to craft the exact
message you want to deliver.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uTTcE34_NeU/U8FlYuLCG4I/AAAAAAAAE5g/WQ2VBm0cSqM/s1600/STOP.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-uTTcE34_NeU/U8FlYuLCG4I/AAAAAAAAE5g/WQ2VBm0cSqM/s1600/STOP.jpg" height="200" width="159" /></a></div>
</span></li>
<li><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">STOP! TAKE A FEW MOMENTS FOR SELF-AWARENESS!- </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Are you:</span></li>
</ul>
<div>
<ul><ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Avoiding any particular point of the message?</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Rationalizing based on how you believe the
person will respond?<br /><div style="text-indent: -24px;">
<br />
These are
signals that you may not have true conviction in the value-proposition your efforts have been driving toward. Go back to Step #3. Keep thinking.</div>
</span></li>
</ul>
</ul>
</div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">5.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Deliver
the message- </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">You’re prepared. So say what you mean.</span></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Be clear
and concise-</b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> If you wrote out a statement, the best approach might be to
just read it to them. This approach may feel awkward but the main point is to
deliver the message, isn't it? I've done this more than once and although I
have to admit it always feels strange to read my statement to the other party,
the approach has saved me from making things worse each time. The point is to stay
on message and avoid adding distracting statements. The biggest mistakes I've made in delivering constructive feedback has been when I've tried to add
language to try and make the person feel better or to justify some parts of the
message. I learned not to assume what parts of my message they will disagree
with or question and to focus on delivering it. I wait for them to respond
because only then can I know exactly what part(s) they take issue with.</span></span></li>
<li><b style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Don't be
distracted- </span></b><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It’s difficult not to become distracted from the message you
really <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NiJwlfDw3Xw/U8Fm-n69QjI/AAAAAAAAE6A/8TD_EANxSOg/s1600/Forked+Lane.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NiJwlfDw3Xw/U8Fm-n69QjI/AAAAAAAAE6A/8TD_EANxSOg/s1600/Forked+Lane.jpg" height="200" width="142" /></a></div>
want to deliver while preparing. The previous steps are designed to
prevent you from trying to rationalize how you will respond to the things the
other parties may say. They probably will take issue with at least one of your
points though.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Remember, your purpose is to deliver your message. Don't let
them distract you from it. It’s the win you really want. You need them to hear
it but you don't need them to agree with it. <br /><br />If after you’ve made your points you
find they still disagree remember, you will have other opportunities in the
future to come to an agreement if you keep the avenues for discussion open. This isn't easy because difficult conversations are stressful and your natural tendency is to end the conversation as quickly as possible. However, it’s important not to stifle the conversation because that will only leave the conflict
unresolved. <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/12/how-to-perform-first-aid-on-conflict.html" target="_blank">Unresolved conflict doesn't go away, it festers. </a><br /><br />Learning to be
calm and think clearly in uncomfortable situations is critical. Here are a few
options you can use to end the conversation. The key is to acknowledge when the conflict is unresolved and that you intend to return to it.:</span></span></div>
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<ol>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="text-indent: -31.5pt;">If they
don't agree with your facts</b><span style="text-indent: -31.5pt;">- Say, “There are two sides to every story, the </span><span style="text-indent: -31.5pt;">truth
is somewhere in the middle, and perception is reality. I'm delivering this
message based on the information I've gathered. Since you don't agree with it,
I suggest we continue this discussion later after we've both had a chance to check our facts.” Then, end the conversation as concisely as possible and go
back to Step #1 so you can continue the conversation with conviction.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="text-indent: -31.5pt;">If they don't agree with your message because they're not getting the value-proposition they sought or expected- </b><span style="text-indent: -31.5pt;">You can say, “I
understand if you don't agree with the outcome. It’s important for you to think
about whether the direction we're taking is acceptable to you. Only you can
decide that. What I need is for you to understand the message I'm delivering to
you clearly, do you?”<span style="text-indent: -31.5pt;"> </span></span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />If they say, “Yes,” then go back to Option 1, above.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iEncrPieHig/U8Fm-o1_tSI/AAAAAAAAE58/gX9nDhMQqP8/s1600/Left+Turn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iEncrPieHig/U8Fm-o1_tSI/AAAAAAAAE58/gX9nDhMQqP8/s1600/Left+Turn.jpg" height="142" width="200" /></a></div>
</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;">If they say, “No,” give them an opportunity to ask questions but don't let them distract you from the message, just listen and try to learn what they specifically disagree with or don't understand to so you can address them directly. <br /><br />If they try to distract the conversation from your main points then say, “We can address that issue if needed after we've resolved this one. Can we get back on topic?” <br /><br />Remain vigilant of your frustration level. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-icvCg3610y8/U8Fm-o3NXII/AAAAAAAAE6E/oFpfMGXIlVM/s1600/Right+Turn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-icvCg3610y8/U8Fm-o3NXII/AAAAAAAAE6E/oFpfMGXIlVM/s1600/Right+Turn.jpg" height="142" width="200" /></a></div>
<br />If things get too stressful and you're concerned you're going to lose your composure or give in just to relieve the tension, go to option 1, above, as a way to keep the conversation going without compromising your position.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b style="text-indent: -31.5pt;">If they understand and agree with you-</b><span style="text-indent: -31.5pt;"> That means the value-propositions you both seek are aligned. This is the win both of you want most! Continue the conversation. Focus on how you can work together to <a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/2013/12/create-magic-for-every-stakeholder.html" target="_blank">create a magical mutually beneficial relationship</a>.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wn17j9V36a0/U8Fve6xW30I/AAAAAAAAE6c/JSlDict-LPM/s1600/Merge.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wn17j9V36a0/U8Fve6xW30I/AAAAAAAAE6c/JSlDict-LPM/s1600/Merge.jpg" height="320" width="225" /></a></div>
</span></span></li>
</ol>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 130.5pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l3 level3 lfo2; text-indent: -31.5pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These five simple steps provide the framework which will
allow you to think and act as </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">logically as possible in relation to what you value most and the results you really want when you're forced to deal with a difficult
situation. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Oh, by the way, you'll always be forced to deal with difficult situations. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GPiXgoQUmos/VAYKibznxnI/AAAAAAAAFbM/4YitnZR9-LI/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-GPiXgoQUmos/VAYKibznxnI/AAAAAAAAFbM/4YitnZR9-LI/s1600/Finding%2BSuccess-%2BCover.png" height="200" width="128" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; text-align: center;"><b>Finding Success</b><br />
<b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/f.html" target="_blank">Get the win you really want and </a></b><br />
<b><a href="http://goboomlife.blogspot.com/p/f.html" target="_blank">PRE-ORDER FINDING SUCCESS NOW!</a></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Follow the steps consistently and you'll notice three things will happen:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">1.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">You will get incrementally better at
communicating with others because you will learn how to become less susceptible
to the stress created by difficult conversations.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">2.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">You will need to respond to incrementally fewer
conflicts over time because you’ve resolved problems versus merely creating the
illusion that you have.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;"><br />3.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 7pt; text-indent: -0.25in;">
</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; text-indent: -0.25in;">Teamwork will improve incrementally. The culture
will improve incrementally.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Incremental progress is continuous improvement, each step a
change from the status quo.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="color: red; font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>BOOM!</b></span></div>
<div style="text-indent: -24px;">
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Tom Eakin</b></span></div>
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Success Engineer, BoomLife</b></span></div>
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-indent: 0px;">
<div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
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<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qv9jnWqKDX4/UmvKJg9og8I/AAAAAAAACCc/yBaN39uGm18/s1600/Tom-+BoomLife+T-Shirt2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qv9jnWqKDX4/UmvKJg9og8I/AAAAAAAACCc/yBaN39uGm18/s200/Tom-+BoomLife+T-Shirt2.JPG" height="197" width="200" /></a><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></b><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Want to know if you're on your path to Values-Driven Success?</b></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: large;"><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Try our GPS Theory App at</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><a href="http://www.goboomlife.com/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">www.goboomlife.com</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qv9jnWqKDX4/UmvKJg9og8I/AAAAAAAACCc/yBaN39uGm18/s1600/Tom-+BoomLife+T-Shirt2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><br /></a></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: large;">email us at <a href="mailto:tom@goboomlife.com"><b>tom@goboomlife.com</b></a></span></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02740429839520099658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3843260720936599300.post-54808030071644049442014-06-20T12:36:00.000-05:002015-05-06T05:58:12.869-05:00Why Meekness Does Not Mean Weakness<h2 style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why Meekness Does Not Mean Weakness</span></h2>
<div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">I recently visited with Tony Olson at his office in North Sioux City, SD. Tony and his colleagues at <a href="http://d2worldwide.com/" target="_blank">Documents & Design, LLC (a.k.a D2)</a>, comprise an talented and eclectic team of “<a href="http://d2worldwide.com/D2-AboutUs.aspx" target="_blank">product designers, coders, program managers, technical writers, graphic designers, editors, behavioral scientists, technicians, testers, patent agents, and business people</a>” who “<a href="http://d2worldwide.com/D2-AboutUs.aspx" target="_blank">strive to make…products and services better</a>.”</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">At one point in the conversation, Tony pointed out the phrase, “</span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><b>Meekness
does not mean weakness</b></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">,” which was drawn on the glass wall of his office with a dry-erase marker so that anyone who walked by would see it. He said he’d written the statement a few days earlier as a way to generate thoughtful discussion amongst the team and to reinforce the culture they want to create and sustatain at D2.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Tony asked me what I thought the statement meant.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">I believe the meanings of the words we use are so important. The words we choose can have a significant effect on how others perceive what we communicate.
So, I told Tony I </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">didn't</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> want to answer his question until I’d had a chance to
look meekness and weakness up in the dictionary. Before I compared and contrasted them, I wanted to understand what they really mean.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img src="http://s3.amazonaws.com/ligonier-public-media/learn/series_images/DevelopingChristianCharacter_620x348.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://s3.amazonaws.com/ligonier-public-media/learn/series_images/DevelopingChristianCharacter_620x348.jpg">http://s3.amazonaws.com/ligonier-public-media/learn/series_images/DevelopingChristianCharacter_620x348.jpg</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-size: small;">Meekness</span></span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I referred to <a href="http://merriam-webster.com/">Merriam-Webster.com</a> for <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/meek?show=0&t=1403275022" target="_blank">the meaning of the word</a>,
I observed three different definitions which can be applied to meek people and summarized as: mild, submissive and moderate. These three words appeared to represent a weak-nature at the surface but I knew a deeper analysis was needed.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">When I apply the three definitions of meek to the context
of Tony’s message, I can see it is most accurately reflected by the first definition, “<span style="background: white;"><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/meek?show=0&t=1403275022" target="_blank">enduring injury with patience and without resentment: MILD</a></span><span style="background: white; font-variant: small-caps;">.” </span>I also believe the<a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/meek" target="_blank"> third definitio</a><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/meek" target="_blank">n</a> provides insight into Tony’s point, in that it tells us that meek people do not
want violent conflict or negative debate simply for the sake of argument.</span></div>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Weakness</span></h3>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The dictionary showed me that <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weakness" target="_blank">weakness is “the quality or state of being weak.”</a></span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, l</span><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">ogically,
I was led to find <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weak" target="_blank">the meaning of the word weak</a> where I learned there are
a number definitions which help illustrate the contrast between weakness and
meekness.</span> </div>
<h4>
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Five Definitions of the Word Weak Which Prove Weakness
Does Not Equal Meekness</span></h4>
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">1. The
<a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weakness" target="_blank">first definition</a> indicates that a weak person lacks strength and the ability to
withstand pressure. </span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;">If meek people are also weak, then they would
not be capable of “enduring...with patience,” a characteristic which I
believe represents significant fortitude. Meek people must be resistant to the
burden of stress created when opposed and especially when attacked physically or with verbal disrespect.</span></span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">2. The
<a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weakness" target="_blank">second definition</a> tells us that weak people lack the intellectual resources to discern
what they stand for and take decisive action.</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Just because a person is meek, it does not
necessarily mean they cannot use reason and logic to determine what they
believe in. If meek people were also weak, they would not be able to resist the
temptation to give in to contrary opinions or opposing arguments just to avoid
conflict. Meek people are not against conflict, they are against losing their
calm in situations where their points of view differ from those of others. Taking a stance is a decisive action.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">3. When
one’s position is “<a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weakness" target="_blank">not factually grounded</a>” the ensuing weakness in their case makes it vulnerable to opposing argument (<a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weakness" target="_blank">Definition 3</a>).</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">This definition can apply to anyone who does
not put forth the necessary effort required to gather facts and understand the
situation as clearly as possible before entering into a debate. So, logically, this definition applies to any type of person. What we must remember about the meek is that they stand resistant to opposing arguments because the reasoning they've invested in determining what they believe in creates the conviction to do so.</span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">4. When
a person or mechanism is not able to function properly, weakness is present within (<a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weakness" target="_blank">Definition 4</a>).</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">This definition applies to the laws of physics
and to systems. Meek and weak people are certainly susceptible to faulty
design and logic, as are the strong. So, there is a correlation. Just remember, that which correlates
does not necessarily translate to cause and effect. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18.399999618530273px; text-indent: -24px;">Displaying the characteristics of the meek does not preclude anyone from “</span><a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weakness" style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18.399999618530273px; text-indent: -24px;" target="_blank">developing vigor of expression or effect</a><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 18.399999618530273px; text-indent: -24px;">”. So, we cannot necessarily exclude the meek from the strong. </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">5. When
one does not apply political power or authority over a situation it makes them
ineffective; <a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weak" target="_blank">impotent</a> (<a href="http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/weakness" target="_blank">Definition 6</a>).</span></div>
<div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">If we believe that meek people are capable of
forming logical arguments to discern their position and are willing to patiently present
their case without resentment, then the only thing they give
up under those conditions is the influence that is gained through political
alliances made with others or the power bestowed through the authority of position. Meek people stand on the merit of their argument.
If that means they stand alone and must resist the current of unified but
irrational influence from others then they must be steadfast.</span></li>
</ul>
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;">Meekness + Conviction = Significant Enduring Strength.</span></h3>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">They seek the truth through reason and logic.</span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">They are thoughtful, and in their thoughtfulness t</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">hey find grace.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">Their steadfastness comes from conviction- The belief in what they are doing.</span></li>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Musings: From Steadfast To Surrender" src="http://eof737.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/steadfast-rocktorres1.jpg?w=500&h=375" height="240" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="320" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="http://eof737.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/steadfast-rocktorres1.jpg?w=500&h=375" target="_blank">http://eof737.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/<br />steadfast-rocktorres1.jpg?w=500&h=375</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">They influence because they endure. </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;"><br /></span></span>
<br />
<h3 style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How Can
You Be Both Meek and Strong?</span></h3>
<div style="margin-left: 0in; mso-add-space: auto;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><span style="font-family: Symbol; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 7pt; line-height: normal;"> </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">When you find yourself in a situation where
your point of view differs from others, be patient, listen, so you can
understand the real root cause of the conflict.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Don’t let the stress caused by the
conflicting position you take against the argument of another cause you to try
to force the other person to agree with you. Recognize it’s possible that neither
of you are entirely right. The key thing to remember is that both of you want
the same thing: to be entirely right. The only way for that to happen is for
both of you to understand the situation accurately, put your pride aside and
accept the logical truth.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Be resistant to showing your natural initial
reaction to the things the other person says even if they are being
disrespectful and insulting. Use your strength and energy to lift their
thoughts and behaviors up to a level of reason through your own deliberate and
logical approach.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">When you believe you disagree with what is
being said and at the same time not sure how to respond, acknowledge the situation and let
the other person know you want to think about what you want them to hear. A rational person will respect that.</span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">D</span><span style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">on’t rely on your allies to strengthen your
argument, depend on the reason and logic behind it. It </span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;">doesn't</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><span style="line-height: 115%;"> matter how many
people are on your side if you are not entirely right. All that does is
multiply the weaknesses in your reasoning and creates an opportunity to use
force to inappropriately coerce someone else.</span></span></span></li>
<li><span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 115%; text-indent: -0.25in;">Focus on the logic and reasoning behind your
argument, not on how many people stand on the other side of the debate. Being
outnumbered is not a reason to change your mind. The only reason to change your
mind is if you’ve been presented with an argument that is more logically
truthful than your own.</span></li>
</ul>
<div style="text-indent: -24px;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="line-height: 18.399999618530273px;"></span></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDgVcpZKbiGPWLogDXqrIR4fnTF9Yex_VICsp47JWit0fJq9ycTJm9HBRcOR_18GRP1Y0rxG4ytV93Vk3VXQHT3E8bHvRKfW7anNde0FdHE3s7RV-U2xW-Fk2O04SrUTTiB2U6JGXr9wQv/s400/meekness.jpg" height="320" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="400" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Source: <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDgVcpZKbiGPWLogDXqrIR4fnTF9Yex_VICsp47JWit0fJq9ycTJm9HBRcOR_18GRP1Y0rxG4ytV93Vk3VXQHT3E8bHvRKfW7anNde0FdHE3s7RV-U2xW-Fk2O04SrUTTiB2U6JGXr9wQv/s1600/meekness.jpg" target="_blank">http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wQQsp5-0_Og/Tj1TVI8TndI/<br />AAAAAAAAAiw/wuiGfVq55KE/s1600/meekness.jpg</a>/</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><b>Wow! I couldn't have said it better myself!</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Tom Eakin</b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Success Engineer, BoomLife</b></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tom Eakin's presentation of "What Do You Want?" is designed to challenge the way you define success and inspire you to engineer your own personal, professional or organizational path to success. </span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JUpkxOA4H2I/UgPulKK0YxI/AAAAAAAABBU/fJy6b2QsgxA/s1600/BuyVeteranBADGE2.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JUpkxOA4H2I/UgPulKK0YxI/AAAAAAAABBU/fJy6b2QsgxA/s200/BuyVeteranBADGE2.gif" height="200" width="117" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: large;">email us at <a href="mailto:tom@goboomlife.com"><b>tom@goboomlife.com</b></a></span></span></div>
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