Four Tips for Identifying YOUR Core Values

Four Tips for Identifying YOUR Core Values

I'm writing a book titled, "What Do You Want?," right now. There is a section in the book where I ask the question, "What are you willing to die for? Are you willing to live for it?"  The first time I considered these two questions together it hit me that most people do not really understand what is truly important to them.  I can say with absolute certainty that up to the point of the birth of GPS Theory, I really didn't know how to find the answers to those questions either.  Oh sure, there were areas of my life that I had a grip on, but when it came to getting past the obstacles between my current "place" in life and my Life-Long Success destination, I didn't even realize what the real obstacles were. It turned out I had left some of the answers up to the people in my world, I had abdicated some of the responsibility of determining the person I was going to be to others, their perceptions and their opinions. Their expectations of what I should do and what I'm capable of accomplishing somehow had bled into my expectations. I didn't even see it at the time. I can't blame anyone but myself for it.

How are you allowing the people in your world to influence your own path to Life-Long Success?

@oscarwilde: Most #people are other people. … Their lives a mimicry. Their #passions a #quotation. pic.twitter.com/7lHjYKlTct
— Cory Kelly (@MarineCory) August 25, 2013

My last article covered the critical insights you need if you want to achieve Life-Long Success. I wouldn't be the Success Engineer if I didn't keep breaking down the concept of success and what it takes to get it, now would I? Those insights are critical, you need to believe them if you want to chase your dreams with conviction, but they don't help you figure out who you want to be, and figuring that out has to be the first step!

These tips will help you identify and define the words you would want other people to use to describe you and the life you've lived:

TIP #1- Identify what you like to do more than anything else in the world. 

What makes you most happy while you're doing it or just after you've finished it? What word would you use to describe the source of that feeling? Here's an activity, fill in the blanks:

I feel ______________(feeling/emotion) when I  _____________ (favorite thing) because in that moment I am a/an ______________ person (the Core Value you fulfill).

Start a list. Write that last word down.

TIP #2- Repeat Tip #1 thinking about your second most favorite thing to do.

I feel ______________(feeling/emotion) when I  _____________ (favorite thing) because in that moment I am a/an ______________ person (the Core Value you fulfill).

Add that last word to your list.

TIP #3- Do it again and again until you think your list is complete! 

Feels good doesn't it? Now you're thinking! You're feeling like you're on to something BIG, you can begin to picture yourself experiencing those feelings all the time.  The good news is, it's entirely possible!

I feel ______________(feeling/emotion) when I  _____________ (favorite thing) because in that moment I am a/an ______________ person (the Core Value you fulfill).


Keeping writing the third word in that sentence down as you complete it!  When I first started writing down my answers to the question, "What words do you want other people to use to describe you and the life you've lived?," or, what I call the "What words...?" question, before I knew it I had written down 64 words. I quickly realized that was way too many "criteria for success" to keep track of. So, I just figured out how to use most of the words to define a few key words, Core Value words (see graphic, below).  This way, I didn't lose any resolution with regard to the ideal-self I envisioned and I was able to pare my "What words...?" list down to eight Core Values ...a more manageable number of success criteria.

TIP #4- Start! Begin! Change your thinking! Get going!

Don't worry or wait if your list of Core Values is not perfect.  Waiting for perfect conditions to begin will only waste more of your precious time (See Critical Insight #3)! It's OK to keep refining your Core Values.  As you focus on your Core Values, you'll find yourself making more decisions that align with them.  You'll also start to gain a different, more refined understanding of some of the words on your "What words...?" list.  Don't be afraid to change a word or two as time goes by.  It doesn't mean you were lying, or wrong, it means you were learning! Life-Long Success requires a life-long journey.  My current eight Core Values were twelve up until about a week ago. I hope to keep making the list smaller as time goes by through continuous improvement efforts at understanding and implementing. Why? I want to keep things as simple as humanly possible.

The journey to Life-Long Success isn't about just doing what feels good.  It's about feeling good because you know the things you're doing are good. It's feeling good about what you're doing.  It's about believing in what you're doing.  This is how we find the conviction to live the lives we want, my friends!                    

A person who looks at these tips at the surface level may respond sarcastically, "Yeah, Tom, great tips, a kid could have come up with those!" The point of the exercise is to THINK!  And, why shouldn't we listen to kids, or take a kid's approach, when it comes to understanding the possibility of being happy? It seems to me we've forgotten how to think like we did when we were kids- when we were happy and the world of possibilities wasn't influenced by the fears of failure we learn from our culture & society. Think for yourself! What do you want?

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Use these Tips to prepare before you use GPS Theory 

If you're planning to interact with BoomLife's GPS Theory application on our website (www.goboomlife.com), I strongly urge you to follow the first three tips from this article first.  Don't even create an account until you've done this! You'll find the experience so much more meaningful when you get the feedback you really seek from the people in your world!  Why? Because you owe it to yourself to put forth real and deliberate effort into identifying your Core Values, the criteria for your Life-Long Success you actually care about! You can interact with GPS Theory on a superficial level if you want to, but just like with any other process: Garbage In = Garbage Out.

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A Few Simple Sentences about Life-Long Success

First off, the title of the article caught my eye because I typically wonder what person means when they discuss “Success,” so as I read Brent Beshore’s article, “12 Counter-Intuitive Practices for Long-Term Success,” I recognized many parallels with what we’re working to help people accomplish at BoomLife.  I want to make sure no one misunderstands something about BoomLife from the beginning, we don’t think we have all the answers, we focus on the questions.  After all, if you don’t ask the right questions, you don’t get the right answers, so there is a critical path we need to follow to find real Life-Long Success.

I could tell right away Mr. Beshore is genuine as he cut straight to the core with every sentence in the first paragraph.  I feel his first paragraph so succinctly communicates the human condition I’m compelled to place each sentence in its own bullet point so the reader can take the time to consider them separately.  I quote:

·         “Life is a complex combination of interactions, events, and relationships.”

·         “We all chase “success,” but we struggle to define it.”

·         “We all want true happiness, but we usually settle for the appearance of it.”

·         “We all seek meaning, but we often succumb to doubt.”

 I read on.  I encourage you to as well.  As you go through the 12 points of the article, think about these questions:

1.       When you’re receiving criticism, do you ask yourself, “What is this person saying, beyond any inappropriate reason and logic or emotional baggage attached to it, that is true about me?”  Or, are you ignoring the gift that is hidden in message because it’s wrapped up in such an unattractive package? 

I, personally, have troubles with this one…I tend to focus on the package in the moment and don’t get to the introspection being asked of me until later on, after I’ve refused the gift.  Don’t be like me.  I’m trying to get better.

2.       What value do you give away to the people in your world? 

3.       Are you a true subject matter expert in your field?  Or, do you hide behind on the expert power others have attributed you, based on your credentials, financial status or job title?   

Here’s the magic formula for real, genuine specialists: Be. Know. Do.  Do you?  What do you know? Are you?

4.       Are you grateful for the value others create for you through their gifts?

5.       Do you have the humility to recognize you don’t control the results?  If you don’t get what you want, do you react by blaming or making excuses?  Or, do you decide to do what it takes to try again?

6.       Do your decisions, actions and behaviors drive toward one simple Life-Long mission?  Do your efforts focus on it?

7.       Do other people really know who you are?  Or, do you communicate in a manner to make sure no one can pin you down so nothing will ever stick to you? 

I’m often amazed at the way people look at me when I tell them truths about some of my biggest failures.  I was just talking with someone today and I watched his eyebrows as I explained how I’ve burned more than a few relationships because I didn’t recognize that although I was genuinely trying to help those people but they didn’t want it and what I was really doing was trying to pull them outside of their comfort zones.  For about a minute, I couldn’t tell if he’d lost his forehead.

8.       Do you value yourself?  Do you know what you’re willing to die for?  Are you willing to live for it?  Do you find inspiration in what you feel when you do?

9.       Do you think you always need to be able to give the answers because admitting you don’t know is a sign of weakness?  Or, do you recognize that trusting others, that the vulnerability of allowing someone else to help you develops the real strength in the relationships with the people in your World?

Leon Hayduchok, the author of Dying to Control- The 21st Century Dilemma, summarized his powerful message like this, "When it comes to personal relationships, there is no greater way to express your commitment or to display your trustworthiness than to devote your life to the people you love."

10.   Have you stopped seeking to learn?  Or, do you recognize that everything you need to know about continuous improvement was given to you in 8^th grade science when you learned how to apply to Scientific Method to challenge every assumption and let the data, the facts you actively sought, help you increase your incomplete understanding?

11.   Do you stay nestled deep inside your comfort zone, surrounded by what and whom you know?  Or, do you seek to expose yourself to “new people, ideas and experiences?”

Remember, this is a sticking point for us at BoomLife, our mission is “To help other people achieve Life-Long Success.”  Don’t come to us if you want everyone or everything else in your life to change, we’ll ruin the relationship by telling you you can’t have it.  What do you want?

12.   Does uncertainly paralyze you from breaking through the barriers you imagine?  Or, do you analyze the situation, assess the risks, take the chance and accept the consequences? 

Finally, I'll attempt to summarize with a few sentences intended to be as powerful as Mr. Beshore's:

• Try.  
• Fail. 
• Be. 
• Know. 
• Do. Think. 
• Seek. 
• Communicate. 
• Thank. 
• Accept facts. 
• Value Yourself.  
• Inspire Yourself. 

Find Life-Long Success by BEING the person you WANT to be!  BOOM!