Showing posts with label influence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label influence. Show all posts

Sunday, September 29, 2013

How To Become Powerfully Social & Socially Powerful!

How Become Powerfully Social and Socially Powerful!

In the next few weeks, BoomLife will be announcing the beta launch of our GPS Theory App and I wanted to take a few minutes to communicate how it represents an opportunity for you to be both Powerfully Social and Socially Powerful. I like to break systems down to their simplest forms so I can understand how the components relate to each other and learn how they can be best combined to create more value than they could on their own. So, let's take a look at what it means to be "Powerful" and "Social" and how they create value together.  Since we're talking about creating value, let's discussion the concept of "Value" first.

Value

Life is all about satisfying the human craving for success in the form of creating or preserving value. The underlying reason any of us does anything is to realize a net-positive value. Value is
Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
a complex concept with many meanings. Our craving to realize a net-positive value, or success, relates to all forms of the word, it relates to getting what we want and being the person we want to be. I can promise you this, though, you can't get what you want if you are not, first, the person you want to be. But, what does "the person you want to be" look like? How can you achieve your ideal-self? Finding the answer to questions like these is where GPS Theory becomes a powerful tool. The simplest way for me to help you understand where to start is to advise you to know the answers to the following question and do the things it takes to represent, or personify, them so you can be the person you want and live the life you dream of.  

What words do you want others to use to describe you and the life you've lived?

The answers to this question, if you've taken the time to answer it fully and deliberately, equal your Core Values. Chances are, you have an idea of what success looks like but the fear of failure has driven you from doing what it takes to realize the success you seek. The problem lies in the gap between what you say you value, or how you say you want to create value in your World, and the value, positive or negative, you've actually created through your behaviors.

Become Powerful

Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
 Do you want to be powerful?  Or, do you want to do things that are powerful? Here's an example that relates to creating value within your World: Let's say you value "Honor". There are two ways you can approach honor. You can say you honor the people in your World whom you have relationships with. Or, you can show them honor through your actions and prove it to them! What do you want? Honor? Or, the illusion of honor? The same thought process can be applied to any Core Value to help you understand whether you're willing to do what it takes to personify it.

GPS Theory provides the means to be able to tell the difference between living your Core Values and creating the illusion that you are. The articles in the BoomBlog communicate the concepts behind GPS Theory; how you can identify and define the Core Values that can drive your success and the importance of being consistent in doing what it takes to personify them. The GPS Theory App is designed to help you understand if your decisions, actions and behaviors are in alignment with your stated Core Values. The term "stated Core Values" implies that you share the person you want to be with the people in your world.  Do you do that? Does it sound kind of scary? Does it sound like you might be putting yourself in a vulnerable position? You will. Just remember, the key to achieving success is breaking through the barriers your imagination creates when you perceive others may judge you harshly for living for what you believe in. 

So, how can you feel powerful and vulnerable to the judgment of others at the same time? The first step in the GPS Theory App helps you prepare for this by identifying and defining your Core Values.  This exercise is empowering!  With every meaningful Core Value you add to your "What words...?" list (your answer to the question, "What words do you want others to use to describe you and the life you've lived?") you will recognize that you CAN personify that word, especially as you seek to understand its meaning. You will see there is nothing stopping you from doing things that allow you to be that word in your own eyes and in the perspective of the people in your World. Now, that's empowerment! That's knowing how to do things that are powerful! Once you know how to do powerful things you will not need to rely on the judgments of others to determine what you can or cannot do.

Become Social

Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
The adjective definitions of the word "Social" provided by visualthesaurus.com 
Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
communicate what it means to be social. Terms like, "enjoying life," "friendly companionship," and "live together," evoke the sense of community we have the ability to build and share as human beings.  But, those terms are placed next to phrases in the definitions like 
"organized groups," and "groups or colonies of the same kind," which reflect the human tendency to separate into groups based on characteristics that make us different. Can you recognize how we've used the concept of social to organize ourselves by focusing on what makes us different from others? Is it possible to find common ground based on what makes us fundamentally the same through our human condition? But, what is common to all human beings beyond just our state of being human?  The answer, I believe and propose, is Core Values. 

I've already stated that we all seek to create or preserve a net-positive value. The fact that you're still reading this article implies, or assumes, you agree with that premise.  Take a look at the picture of the visualthesaurus.com rendering of the word "Value," above, and you will find one definition stating it is " the quality that renders something desirable...." That definition connects the concept of "Value" with "Social" through Core Values.  Core Values, remember, represent the words you want, or desire, other people to use to describe you. You choose your Core Values as representative of what you believe to be "good" and "right". So, here's the connection: You can only believe other people will use the words you want them to if you interact with them and show them the words you want them to use to describe you through behaviors that align with them.

Become Powerfully Social

Does the belief that people will use the words you want to describe you and the life you've lived mean they will? As we interact with people our intentions and motives are only known to us. How they are perceived by others through their observations of our behaviors is unknown. Often, our behaviors communicate different values than we intend to others as we interact with them. The GPS Theory App creates the opportunity to find out whether other people perceive our actions as representative of our Core Values.  How? It allows you to share your Core Values with the people in your World while you ask them to rate how well you personify them based on their observations.  


You will be amazed at they way others will react to you and how powerful your social network will become in helping you achieve success.

Become Socially Powerful

When people give you the gift of trust by asking you to rate them with the GPS Theory App, provide them with honest and accurate ratings. They cannot change if they don't recognize the need to do better. They will not change unless you show them gaps between actions they want to be perceived as "good" and "right" and the value they actually create. 
That's why the GPS Theory App doesn't ask you to:

  • Judge others based on what you think of them. 
  • Tell them how they've done you wrong.
  • Tell them what to do. 
The GPS Theory App asks you to:

  • Show the people who ask for your help which of their Core Values they already personify.
  • Show them through your ratings whether you'd use the words they want to describe them and the life they've lived.
  • Compel them to think more about how their behaviors will affect the people in their World before they decide to act in the future. 

The GPS Theory App provides you with a safe and secure environment to communicate without fear of conflict or reprisal. The ratings you provide are confidential. The person you are rating will never know what feedback you, specifically, provide. Your responsibility is to be honest and accurate.   

You can become socially powerful through the legitimate use of the influence you have in helping others recognize what aspects of their decision-making they need to change in order to do what it takes to get what they want AND be the person they want to be.
 

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If you want to become:
  • Powerfully Social
  • Socially Powerful
Read Finding Success for strategies on how to define your values and doing the things that reflect them!

Then, try the GPS Theory App on our website at: www.goboomlife.com




Thursday, September 5, 2013

Four Tips for Identifying YOUR Core Values

Four Tips for Identifying YOUR Core Values

I'm writing a book titled, "What Do You Want?," right now. There is a section in the book where I ask the question, "What are you willing to die for? Are you willing to live for it?"  The first time I considered these two questions together it hit me that most people do not really understand what is truly important to them.  I can say with absolute certainty that up to the point of the birth of GPS Theory, I really didn't know how to find the answers to those questions either.  Oh sure, there were areas of my life that I had a grip on, but when it came to getting past the obstacles between my current "place" in life and my Life-Long Success destination, I didn't even realize what the real obstacles were. It turned out I had left some of the answers up to the people in my world, I had abdicated some of the responsibility of determining the person I was going to be to others, their perceptions and their opinions. Their expectations of what I should do and what I'm capable of accomplishing somehow had bled into my expectations. I didn't even see it at the time. I can't blame anyone but myself for it.

How are you allowing the people in your world to influence your own path to Life-Long Success?



My last article covered the critical insights you need if you want to achieve Life-Long Success. I wouldn't be the Success Engineer if I didn't keep breaking down the concept of success and what it takes to get it, now would I? Those insights are critical, you need to believe them if you want to chase your dreams with conviction, but they don't help you figure out who you want to be, and figuring that out has to be the first step!

These tips will help you identify and define the words you would want other people to use to describe you and the life you've lived:


TIP #1- Identify what you like to do more than anything else in the world. 

What makes you most happy while you're doing it or just after you've finished it? What word would you use to describe the source of that feeling? Here's an activity, fill in the blanks:


I feel ______________(feeling/emotion) when I  _____________ (favorite thing) because in that moment I am a/an ______________ person (the Core Value you fulfill).

Start a list. Write that last word down.

TIP #2- Repeat Tip #1 thinking about your second most favorite thing to do.


I feel ______________(feeling/emotion) when I  _____________ (favorite thing) because in that moment I am a/an ______________ person (the Core Value you fulfill).

Add that last word to your list.

TIP #3- Do it again and again until you think your list is complete! 

Feels good doesn't it? Now you're thinking! You're feeling like you're on to something BIG, you can begin to picture yourself experiencing those feelings all the time.  The good news is, it's entirely possible!

I feel ______________(feeling/emotion) when I  _____________ (favorite thing) because in that moment I am a/an ______________ person (the Core Value you fulfill).


Keeping writing the third word in that sentence down as you complete it!  When I first started writing down my answers to the question, "What words do you want other people to use to describe you and the life you've lived?," or, what I call the "What words...?" question, before I knew it I had written down 64 words. I quickly realized that was way too many "criteria for success" to keep track of. So, I just figured out how to use most of the words to define a few key words, Core Value words (see graphic, below).  This way, I didn't lose any resolution with regard to the ideal-self I envisioned and I was able to pare my "What words...?" list down to eight Core Values ...a more manageable number of success criteria.



TIP #4- Start! Begin! Change your thinking! Get going!

Don't worry or wait if your list of Core Values is not perfect.  Waiting for perfect conditions to begin will only waste more of your precious time (See Critical Insight #3)! It's OK to keep refining your Core Values.  As you focus on your Core Values, you'll find yourself making more decisions that align with them.  You'll also start to gain a different, more refined understanding of some of the words on your "What words...?" list.  Don't be afraid to change a word or two as time goes by.  It doesn't mean you were lying, or wrong, it means you were learning! Life-Long Success requires a life-long journey.  My current eight Core Values were twelve up until about a week ago. I hope to keep making the list smaller as time goes by through continuous improvement efforts at understanding and implementing. Why? I want to keep things as simple as humanly possible.


The journey to Life-Long Success isn't about just doing what feels good.  It's about feeling good because you know the things you're doing are good. It's feeling good about what you're doing.  It's about believing in what you're doing.  This is how we find the conviction to live the lives we want, my friends!                    



A person who looks at these tips at the surface level may respond sarcastically, "Yeah, Tom, great tips, a kid could have come up with those!" The point of the exercise is to THINK!  And, why shouldn't we listen to kids, or take a kid's approach, when it comes to understanding the possibility of being happy? It seems to me we've forgotten how to think like we did when we were kids- when we were happy and the world of possibilities wasn't influenced by the fears of failure we learn from our culture & society. Think for yourself! What do you want?


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Use these Tips to prepare before you use GPS Theory 

If you're planning to interact with BoomLife's GPS Theory application on our website (www.goboomlife.com), I strongly urge you to follow the first three tips from this article first.  Don't even create an account until you've done this! You'll find the experience so much more meaningful when you get the feedback you really seek from the people in your world!  Why? Because you owe it to yourself to put forth real and deliberate effort into identifying your Core Values, the criteria for your Life-Long Success you actually care about! You can interact with GPS Theory on a superficial level if you want to, but just like with any other process: Garbage In = Garbage Out.

Our Newsletter can keep you informed on the status of the GPS Theory web-app, new articles, workshops, events, etc. SIGN UP HERE


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