Saturday, September 14, 2013

Three Simple Words = The Path to Success

Three Simple Words = The Path to Life-Long Success

Something is not quite right...

Be. Know. Do. I am not the one who identified those three simple words to describe the character and competencies of an effective and genuine leader. It was someone else. I learned them from FM-22-100 (now, FM-6-22) the U.S. Army Leadership Manual years ago and these words were "at the heart" of my training and experiences. I've never forgotten them. They've helped countless people achieve success in many ways. 

I recalled "Be. Know. Do.," the other day during a conversation with a woman who was asking for my coaching services. I've invoked them many times to help people understand how to be successful in situations where the changes they need to make seem confusing and overwhelming. This time, an interesting thing happened, I recognized after all these years there's one critical problem with these three words.  Can you see it?


"Be" Success

Try it. "Be" success. It's a simple instruction, what are you waiting for?

You can't do it with the instruction provided, can you?

My client told me, "Happiness is the top value in my life but I am miserable most of the time...I want the rest of my life to have some good value...I have no idea as to how to do that right now..." Her problem was obvious. She has been living her life following the Be-Know-Do model as her path to Life-Long Success. She wants Life-Long Success and happiness is of major importance to her. It's achievable, but not the way she's been trying to get it.

Here's the problem: You can't "Be" success (happy) if you don't "Do" things that will lead to your success (happiness).


"Know" Success

Try this one. "Know" success. I suggest this instruction is easier to answer. You may not "Know" yet exactly what success (happiness) looks like, but I guarantee you "Know" whether, or not, you're feeling it at this very moment.

If you don't yet "Know" what success looks like, especially Life-Long Success, then your first step is cut out for you.  Figure it out. Focus. Take your time. Don't rush it.  My understanding of it has taken over twenty years to develop and I'd be a fool to claim I have it nailed yet. Just keep working at it, getting ever closer. Think!

"Do" Success

Try it. "Do" success. This instruction is just as simple as the last one, isn't it?  My first response to my client was, "You can't "Do" happiness."  Go ahead and try.  "Do" things that make you happy. Can you "Do" it?

It's possible.  It might just work for you...if you're lucky.  If you hope for it, there's a chance it will work. 

The point is, you can't "Do" things that will lead to success (happiness) if you don't "Know" what success (happiness) looks like. 

Success is getting what you want.


Life-Long Success is getting what you want AND being the person you want to be.

Why Be-Know-Do Doesn't work

As I said earlier, the three words themselves are the key components to the path to success through genuine self-leadership. The problem with Be-Know-Do as a model for anyone to follow is: the probability of success is only influenced by chance. Why? The words are not quite in the right order and it makes a world of difference.

Let me illustrate with a logical test.



Assumptions:

"Be" = The emotion(s) you feel.
"Know" =  The inputs (facts, beliefs) to the reason and logic behind the decisions you make.
"Do" = The actions you take.
"Value" = The intrinsic and/or extrinsic worth you place on any single person, place, thing, or emotion; or any combination of those conditions present in a given situation.

Now, let's test those assumptions for the Be-Know-Do Model (Warning: Thinking is required if you wish to proceed):

The emotions (Be) you seek lead to the knowledge required to logically decide what creates value (Know) for you which leads to taking actions (Do) that will create value.  
OR
Feeling (Be) successful leads to knowledge required to logically decide of what it takes to be successful (Know) which leads to doing what it takes (Do) to be successful.
OR
Feeling (Be) happy leads to knowledge required to logically decide what it takes to be happy (Know) which leads to doing what it takes to be happy (Do).

Is there an acceptable level of probability you can you get what you want and be the person you want to be with the logic provided in those three statements ? 

Photo Source: http://www.srh.noaa.gov/images/
bmx/significant_events/2000/02_13/tree_on_car.jpg
If you answered, "Yes," you can stop reading here if you'd like. I've recognized the folly of trying to help people who don't recognize the need for continuous improvement. But, just the same, put my phone number, 1-888- 743-6838, in your contacts list so you can call me when you recognize you've made yourself, and probably some of the people in your World, "miserable most of the time." The choice is yours. I urge you to read on though. I'd prefer to help you now before the seeds of hubris completely germinate and grow into some big tree that falls down on the people and things around you because it didn't grow deep enough roots.



If you answered, "No," we're on the same page, so far.

When you follow the Be-Know-Do model, because your focus is on "being" or maintaining a particular emotion, you have a tendency to do things mainly because you think it will feel good. 
You skip right over understanding, or knowing, what it really takes to feel good about yourself. Without self-satisfaction, there is no real satisfaction in anything else. Keep looking for satisfaction externally and your internal craving will grow and grow. You will eventually feel miserable and your craving for success becomes stronger and more powerful, driving you to do more things you think will make you feel good. But, you probably won't.







Here's what my client had to say about this, "Thanks for what you said about not being able to "do" happy. What you said makes sense and helped me see that maybe I am unclear about just what "values" are."

Do you know what "values" are?  Do you know what your Core Values are?

Know. Do. Be.

Now, let's test the Know-Do-Be model. Same words, different order. Same assumptions as before, we just change the logical path.

The Know-Do-Be Model test:

The knowledge required to logically decide what creates value (Know) leads to doing what it takes to create value (Do) which leads to the emotions you seek (Be).
OR
The knowledge required to logically decide what creates success (Know) leads to doing what it takes to be successful (Do) which leads to feeling successful (Be).
OR
The knowledge required to logically decide what makes you happy (Know) leads to doing what it takes to be happy (Do) which leads to feeling happy (Be).

Are these statements realistic? Is there an acceptable level of probability you can you get what you want and be the person you want to be with the logic provided in those three statements? 


Hope by Ryan Russell Design
Photo Source: http://socal.reliefposters.com/rp/2008/01/02/hope-2/
If you start with "Know" the odds get significantly better.  Once you think you "Know" what to do, if you "Do" (try) and keep evaluating and refining what you "Know" and "Do" your odds increase significantly over time.

Some people just get it. They "Know" right away, so they "Do" the right things.  Some people are just lucky. It's really hard not to get frustrated and think "I can't do it," if you don't fit into one of those two categories and compare yourself with people who do.  Stop measuring yourself against them.  Measure yourself against the person you want to be.




Know-Do-Be = GPS Theory = The Path to Life-Long Success:




 "I want the rest of my life to have...value. I want to help other women who have struggled as I have."

She will need to do the work. I will help her. I started BoomLife with one simple but audacious mission: Helping people achieve Life-Long Success! I'm the Success Engineer.

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What do you want? What are you willing to LIVE for?

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