Sunday, September 29, 2013

How To Become Powerfully Social & Socially Powerful!

How Become Powerfully Social and Socially Powerful!

In the next few weeks, BoomLife will be announcing the beta launch of our GPS Theory App and I wanted to take a few minutes to communicate how it represents an opportunity for you to be both Powerfully Social and Socially Powerful. I like to break systems down to their simplest forms so I can understand how the components relate to each other and learn how they can be best combined to create more value than they could on their own. So, let's take a look at what it means to be "Powerful" and "Social" and how they create value together.  Since we're talking about creating value, let's discussion the concept of "Value" first.

Value

Life is all about satisfying the human craving for success in the form of creating or preserving value. The underlying reason any of us does anything is to realize a net-positive value. Value is
Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
a complex concept with many meanings. Our craving to realize a net-positive value, or success, relates to all forms of the word, it relates to getting what we want and being the person we want to be. I can promise you this, though, you can't get what you want if you are not, first, the person you want to be. But, what does "the person you want to be" look like? How can you achieve your ideal-self? Finding the answer to questions like these is where GPS Theory becomes a powerful tool. The simplest way for me to help you understand where to start is to advise you to know the answers to the following question and do the things it takes to represent, or personify, them so you can be the person you want and live the life you dream of.  

What words do you want others to use to describe you and the life you've lived?

The answers to this question, if you've taken the time to answer it fully and deliberately, equal your Core Values. Chances are, you have an idea of what success looks like but the fear of failure has driven you from doing what it takes to realize the success you seek. The problem lies in the gap between what you say you value, or how you say you want to create value in your World, and the value, positive or negative, you've actually created through your behaviors.

Become Powerful

Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
 Do you want to be powerful?  Or, do you want to do things that are powerful? Here's an example that relates to creating value within your World: Let's say you value "Honor". There are two ways you can approach honor. You can say you honor the people in your World whom you have relationships with. Or, you can show them honor through your actions and prove it to them! What do you want? Honor? Or, the illusion of honor? The same thought process can be applied to any Core Value to help you understand whether you're willing to do what it takes to personify it.

GPS Theory provides the means to be able to tell the difference between living your Core Values and creating the illusion that you are. The articles in the BoomBlog communicate the concepts behind GPS Theory; how you can identify and define the Core Values that can drive your success and the importance of being consistent in doing what it takes to personify them. The GPS Theory App is designed to help you understand if your decisions, actions and behaviors are in alignment with your stated Core Values. The term "stated Core Values" implies that you share the person you want to be with the people in your world.  Do you do that? Does it sound kind of scary? Does it sound like you might be putting yourself in a vulnerable position? You will. Just remember, the key to achieving success is breaking through the barriers your imagination creates when you perceive others may judge you harshly for living for what you believe in. 

So, how can you feel powerful and vulnerable to the judgment of others at the same time? The first step in the GPS Theory App helps you prepare for this by identifying and defining your Core Values.  This exercise is empowering!  With every meaningful Core Value you add to your "What words...?" list (your answer to the question, "What words do you want others to use to describe you and the life you've lived?") you will recognize that you CAN personify that word, especially as you seek to understand its meaning. You will see there is nothing stopping you from doing things that allow you to be that word in your own eyes and in the perspective of the people in your World. Now, that's empowerment! That's knowing how to do things that are powerful! Once you know how to do powerful things you will not need to rely on the judgments of others to determine what you can or cannot do.

Become Social

Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
The adjective definitions of the word "Social" provided by visualthesaurus.com 
Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
communicate what it means to be social. Terms like, "enjoying life," "friendly companionship," and "live together," evoke the sense of community we have the ability to build and share as human beings.  But, those terms are placed next to phrases in the definitions like 
"organized groups," and "groups or colonies of the same kind," which reflect the human tendency to separate into groups based on characteristics that make us different. Can you recognize how we've used the concept of social to organize ourselves by focusing on what makes us different from others? Is it possible to find common ground based on what makes us fundamentally the same through our human condition? But, what is common to all human beings beyond just our state of being human?  The answer, I believe and propose, is Core Values. 

I've already stated that we all seek to create or preserve a net-positive value. The fact that you're still reading this article implies, or assumes, you agree with that premise.  Take a look at the picture of the visualthesaurus.com rendering of the word "Value," above, and you will find one definition stating it is " the quality that renders something desirable...." That definition connects the concept of "Value" with "Social" through Core Values.  Core Values, remember, represent the words you want, or desire, other people to use to describe you. You choose your Core Values as representative of what you believe to be "good" and "right". So, here's the connection: You can only believe other people will use the words you want them to if you interact with them and show them the words you want them to use to describe you through behaviors that align with them.

Become Powerfully Social

Does the belief that people will use the words you want to describe you and the life you've lived mean they will? As we interact with people our intentions and motives are only known to us. How they are perceived by others through their observations of our behaviors is unknown. Often, our behaviors communicate different values than we intend to others as we interact with them. The GPS Theory App creates the opportunity to find out whether other people perceive our actions as representative of our Core Values.  How? It allows you to share your Core Values with the people in your World while you ask them to rate how well you personify them based on their observations.  


You will be amazed at they way others will react to you and how powerful your social network will become in helping you achieve success.

Become Socially Powerful

When people give you the gift of trust by asking you to rate them with the GPS Theory App, provide them with honest and accurate ratings. They cannot change if they don't recognize the need to do better. They will not change unless you show them gaps between actions they want to be perceived as "good" and "right" and the value they actually create. 
That's why the GPS Theory App doesn't ask you to:

  • Judge others based on what you think of them. 
  • Tell them how they've done you wrong.
  • Tell them what to do. 
The GPS Theory App asks you to:

  • Show the people who ask for your help which of their Core Values they already personify.
  • Show them through your ratings whether you'd use the words they want to describe them and the life they've lived.
  • Compel them to think more about how their behaviors will affect the people in their World before they decide to act in the future. 

The GPS Theory App provides you with a safe and secure environment to communicate without fear of conflict or reprisal. The ratings you provide are confidential. The person you are rating will never know what feedback you, specifically, provide. Your responsibility is to be honest and accurate.   

You can become socially powerful through the legitimate use of the influence you have in helping others recognize what aspects of their decision-making they need to change in order to do what it takes to get what they want AND be the person they want to be.
 

GET YOUR COPY NOW!
If you want to become:
  • Powerfully Social
  • Socially Powerful
Read Finding Success for strategies on how to define your values and doing the things that reflect them!

Then, try the GPS Theory App on our website at: www.goboomlife.com




Friday, September 20, 2013

How to Provide Feedback to a GPS Theory Subscriber Who Has Requested It

How to "Rate" A GPS Theory Subscriber Who Has Asked For Your Help

Someone you know has just asked you to "rate" them through BoomLife's GPS Theory web-application.  

You received this request through one of the following sources:
  • An email addressed directly to you and sent from BoomLife (at their request).
  • A Facebook request they recently posted.
  • A Tweet they recently sent on Twitter.
You've been given a very valuable gift!  The gift of Trust!  You now have the opportunity to give them something even more valuable! Honest and Accurate Feedback that could change that persons life in positive ways! At this point, you can't even imagine the magnitude of the positive effect your ratings could have on their life...or yours for that matter.

Success is getting what you want.  Life-Long Success is getting what you want AND being the person you want to be.  You can't get what you want if you are not, first, the person you want to be. You can identify the person you want to be by answering this question: What words you want other people to use to describe you and the life you've lived?  The words you use to answer this question are your Core Values, they identify and define the person you want to be. 

It takes courage to share "the person you want to be" with the people in your World so they can help you understand if your behaviors reflect your Core Values. It took a lot of courage for this person to share their Core Values with you.  It took even more courage for them ask you for help!

What's in it for you?

This is an opportunity to:
  • Help Someone Grow!- Doesn't it feel great when you help someone? 
  • Help Yourself...
You're thinking, "What? How does giving someone feedback, especially feedback they probably won't like, going to be helpful to me? Doing that can only create trouble for me!" Well, what if their behavior has not been in alignment with one of their Core Values AND it's been having a negative impact on you in some way. You've never told them about it because you feared it would hurt their feelings or would make them mad. You've always feared saying something would only make things worse. But, hasn't maintaining the status quo by allowing their behaviors negatively affect your life already caused enough trouble for you?  

Here's the good part: Providing feedback via the GPS Theory web-application is safe and confidential.  You can provide ratings with the security of knowing they will not know who gave them what score on any given value.  You are not alone. They have asked other people to provide the feedback they need. They only see the data. There is no way they can determine from whom each dot (data point) on their GPS Check Report (chart) came from.

Here's the really great part!: What if they actually change because of the ratings you provide them!?!  How much better would that make your own life and your relationship with them? Your trust in them will grow as they show you how important your feedback is...by changing their behaviors...by closing the gap between the standard their Core Values represent and the ratings the people in their World...people like you...have given them!

What's in it for them?

When you provide honest and accurate ratings based on your observations of their behaviors in relation to each of their stated Core Values you are giving them the gift of being able to see what the people in their World see: The person they show the world versus the person they want to be! This is the most valuable information a person who really wants to live the life of their dreams can ever receive! You have the ability to give it and it will cost you next to nothing to give them what they're asking for.

Remember this: Because they're taking the risk of asking for your help, they recognize they will only gain and keep your trust if they change. So, give them what they're asking for and help them change in ways that are meaningful to both of you. 
They will grow only if they step outside of their comfort zone and have the courage to change. They may only find the courage to change if you help them. You have an opportunity to make a difference in someone's life and in your own World!

How long will it take?

The GPS Theory web-app makes it so easy!  It will only take a few minutes.

How do I "measure" or "rate" a person based on their Core Values?

A Core Value represents a standard.  For example, let's say "Truth" is one of the Core Values you're being asked to rate someone on. This person is telling you, "I want to be honest!," and that 100% honest behavior is the standard of conduct they are trying to live by.

The first question you need to answer: Has (place their name here) been (place Core Value here) 100% of the time I've had the opportunity to observe them?
  • If Yes, you can confidently give them a 100% rating.
  • If No, you have some thinking to do.  Anything less than 100% means they've compromised when it comes to deciding what actions they should take in certain situations.  What message do you want to send them? A higher rating that is less than 100% and indicates it's not that important they change? Or, a lower rating that let's them know their behaviors have impacted you, one of the people in their World, negatively? The answer is up to you.  
Source: http://www.languagemonitor.com/new-words/
number-of-words-in-the-english-language-1008879/
The folks at BoomLife want to remind you of this fact: This person has told you the word you're rating them on is so important to them that they've chosen it as one of only a dozen, or so, words out of over a million words in the English language. It is a word they want other people to use to describe them. You should only use this word to describe them if their behaviors allow you to. This person will only change if the data the people in their World (like you) provide them indicates they need to. Can you see now just how valuable your answer really could be to them? If you don't give them an honest and accurate rating, and their behavior needs to change in some way, they will keep making the same mistakes they've made in the past.

Remember these important things:

  • Success is getting what you want.
  • Life-Long Success is getting what you want AND being the person you want to be.
  • You can't get what you want if you are not, first, the person you want to be.
  • This person has given you a valuable gift! They're trusting you to help them be the person they want to be!
  • It took a lot of courage to ask for your help!
  • The gift you can give them in return could be PRICELESS to them...and to you!
  • You can help them without the fear of conflict or reprisal- They will never know how you answer!
  • They are asking for the truth. Give it to them!
  • The help you provide this person could make your relationship with them stronger than you ever thought possible! 
  • You have the same opportunity as this person does to live the life you truly want! Why not take it! 
If you want to be:
  • INSPIRED by your Core Values
  • The person you WANT to be.
Then try the GPS Theory App on our website at www.goboomlife.com

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Getting what you want and being the person you want to be can seem complicated and confusing! Together, we'll define what you want, what it takes to get it and help you realize the kind of success you never been able to achieve before! Sign up for personal one-on-one coaching. You can sign up for a program or a single-session. It's up to you!:
The GPS Theory Model

Saturday, September 14, 2013

Three Simple Words = The Path to Success

Three Simple Words = The Path to Life-Long Success

Something is not quite right...

Be. Know. Do. I am not the one who identified those three simple words to describe the character and competencies of an effective and genuine leader. It was someone else. I learned them from FM-22-100 (now, FM-6-22) the U.S. Army Leadership Manual years ago and these words were "at the heart" of my training and experiences. I've never forgotten them. They've helped countless people achieve success in many ways. 

I recalled "Be. Know. Do.," the other day during a conversation with a woman who was asking for my coaching services. I've invoked them many times to help people understand how to be successful in situations where the changes they need to make seem confusing and overwhelming. This time, an interesting thing happened, I recognized after all these years there's one critical problem with these three words.  Can you see it?


"Be" Success

Try it. "Be" success. It's a simple instruction, what are you waiting for?

You can't do it with the instruction provided, can you?

My client told me, "Happiness is the top value in my life but I am miserable most of the time...I want the rest of my life to have some good value...I have no idea as to how to do that right now..." Her problem was obvious. She has been living her life following the Be-Know-Do model as her path to Life-Long Success. She wants Life-Long Success and happiness is of major importance to her. It's achievable, but not the way she's been trying to get it.

Here's the problem: You can't "Be" success (happy) if you don't "Do" things that will lead to your success (happiness).


"Know" Success

Try this one. "Know" success. I suggest this instruction is easier to answer. You may not "Know" yet exactly what success (happiness) looks like, but I guarantee you "Know" whether, or not, you're feeling it at this very moment.

If you don't yet "Know" what success looks like, especially Life-Long Success, then your first step is cut out for you.  Figure it out. Focus. Take your time. Don't rush it.  My understanding of it has taken over twenty years to develop and I'd be a fool to claim I have it nailed yet. Just keep working at it, getting ever closer. Think!

"Do" Success

Try it. "Do" success. This instruction is just as simple as the last one, isn't it?  My first response to my client was, "You can't "Do" happiness."  Go ahead and try.  "Do" things that make you happy. Can you "Do" it?

It's possible.  It might just work for you...if you're lucky.  If you hope for it, there's a chance it will work. 

The point is, you can't "Do" things that will lead to success (happiness) if you don't "Know" what success (happiness) looks like. 

Success is getting what you want.


Life-Long Success is getting what you want AND being the person you want to be.

Why Be-Know-Do Doesn't work

As I said earlier, the three words themselves are the key components to the path to success through genuine self-leadership. The problem with Be-Know-Do as a model for anyone to follow is: the probability of success is only influenced by chance. Why? The words are not quite in the right order and it makes a world of difference.

Let me illustrate with a logical test.



Assumptions:

"Be" = The emotion(s) you feel.
"Know" =  The inputs (facts, beliefs) to the reason and logic behind the decisions you make.
"Do" = The actions you take.
"Value" = The intrinsic and/or extrinsic worth you place on any single person, place, thing, or emotion; or any combination of those conditions present in a given situation.

Now, let's test those assumptions for the Be-Know-Do Model (Warning: Thinking is required if you wish to proceed):

The emotions (Be) you seek lead to the knowledge required to logically decide what creates value (Know) for you which leads to taking actions (Do) that will create value.  
OR
Feeling (Be) successful leads to knowledge required to logically decide of what it takes to be successful (Know) which leads to doing what it takes (Do) to be successful.
OR
Feeling (Be) happy leads to knowledge required to logically decide what it takes to be happy (Know) which leads to doing what it takes to be happy (Do).

Is there an acceptable level of probability you can you get what you want and be the person you want to be with the logic provided in those three statements ? 

Photo Source: http://www.srh.noaa.gov/images/
bmx/significant_events/2000/02_13/tree_on_car.jpg
If you answered, "Yes," you can stop reading here if you'd like. I've recognized the folly of trying to help people who don't recognize the need for continuous improvement. But, just the same, put my phone number, 1-888- 743-6838, in your contacts list so you can call me when you recognize you've made yourself, and probably some of the people in your World, "miserable most of the time." The choice is yours. I urge you to read on though. I'd prefer to help you now before the seeds of hubris completely germinate and grow into some big tree that falls down on the people and things around you because it didn't grow deep enough roots.



If you answered, "No," we're on the same page, so far.

When you follow the Be-Know-Do model, because your focus is on "being" or maintaining a particular emotion, you have a tendency to do things mainly because you think it will feel good. 
You skip right over understanding, or knowing, what it really takes to feel good about yourself. Without self-satisfaction, there is no real satisfaction in anything else. Keep looking for satisfaction externally and your internal craving will grow and grow. You will eventually feel miserable and your craving for success becomes stronger and more powerful, driving you to do more things you think will make you feel good. But, you probably won't.







Here's what my client had to say about this, "Thanks for what you said about not being able to "do" happy. What you said makes sense and helped me see that maybe I am unclear about just what "values" are."

Do you know what "values" are?  Do you know what your Core Values are?

Know. Do. Be.

Now, let's test the Know-Do-Be model. Same words, different order. Same assumptions as before, we just change the logical path.

The Know-Do-Be Model test:

The knowledge required to logically decide what creates value (Know) leads to doing what it takes to create value (Do) which leads to the emotions you seek (Be).
OR
The knowledge required to logically decide what creates success (Know) leads to doing what it takes to be successful (Do) which leads to feeling successful (Be).
OR
The knowledge required to logically decide what makes you happy (Know) leads to doing what it takes to be happy (Do) which leads to feeling happy (Be).

Are these statements realistic? Is there an acceptable level of probability you can you get what you want and be the person you want to be with the logic provided in those three statements? 


Hope by Ryan Russell Design
Photo Source: http://socal.reliefposters.com/rp/2008/01/02/hope-2/
If you start with "Know" the odds get significantly better.  Once you think you "Know" what to do, if you "Do" (try) and keep evaluating and refining what you "Know" and "Do" your odds increase significantly over time.

Some people just get it. They "Know" right away, so they "Do" the right things.  Some people are just lucky. It's really hard not to get frustrated and think "I can't do it," if you don't fit into one of those two categories and compare yourself with people who do.  Stop measuring yourself against them.  Measure yourself against the person you want to be.




Know-Do-Be = GPS Theory = The Path to Life-Long Success:




 "I want the rest of my life to have...value. I want to help other women who have struggled as I have."

She will need to do the work. I will help her. I started BoomLife with one simple but audacious mission: Helping people achieve Life-Long Success! I'm the Success Engineer.

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What do you want? What are you willing to LIVE for?

I
Sign-Up for GPS Theory on our website: www.goboomlife.com

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Thursday, September 5, 2013

Four Tips for Identifying YOUR Core Values

Four Tips for Identifying YOUR Core Values

I'm writing a book titled, "What Do You Want?," right now. There is a section in the book where I ask the question, "What are you willing to die for? Are you willing to live for it?"  The first time I considered these two questions together it hit me that most people do not really understand what is truly important to them.  I can say with absolute certainty that up to the point of the birth of GPS Theory, I really didn't know how to find the answers to those questions either.  Oh sure, there were areas of my life that I had a grip on, but when it came to getting past the obstacles between my current "place" in life and my Life-Long Success destination, I didn't even realize what the real obstacles were. It turned out I had left some of the answers up to the people in my world, I had abdicated some of the responsibility of determining the person I was going to be to others, their perceptions and their opinions. Their expectations of what I should do and what I'm capable of accomplishing somehow had bled into my expectations. I didn't even see it at the time. I can't blame anyone but myself for it.

How are you allowing the people in your world to influence your own path to Life-Long Success?



My last article covered the critical insights you need if you want to achieve Life-Long Success. I wouldn't be the Success Engineer if I didn't keep breaking down the concept of success and what it takes to get it, now would I? Those insights are critical, you need to believe them if you want to chase your dreams with conviction, but they don't help you figure out who you want to be, and figuring that out has to be the first step!

These tips will help you identify and define the words you would want other people to use to describe you and the life you've lived:


TIP #1- Identify what you like to do more than anything else in the world. 

What makes you most happy while you're doing it or just after you've finished it? What word would you use to describe the source of that feeling? Here's an activity, fill in the blanks:


I feel ______________(feeling/emotion) when I  _____________ (favorite thing) because in that moment I am a/an ______________ person (the Core Value you fulfill).

Start a list. Write that last word down.

TIP #2- Repeat Tip #1 thinking about your second most favorite thing to do.


I feel ______________(feeling/emotion) when I  _____________ (favorite thing) because in that moment I am a/an ______________ person (the Core Value you fulfill).

Add that last word to your list.

TIP #3- Do it again and again until you think your list is complete! 

Feels good doesn't it? Now you're thinking! You're feeling like you're on to something BIG, you can begin to picture yourself experiencing those feelings all the time.  The good news is, it's entirely possible!

I feel ______________(feeling/emotion) when I  _____________ (favorite thing) because in that moment I am a/an ______________ person (the Core Value you fulfill).


Keeping writing the third word in that sentence down as you complete it!  When I first started writing down my answers to the question, "What words do you want other people to use to describe you and the life you've lived?," or, what I call the "What words...?" question, before I knew it I had written down 64 words. I quickly realized that was way too many "criteria for success" to keep track of. So, I just figured out how to use most of the words to define a few key words, Core Value words (see graphic, below).  This way, I didn't lose any resolution with regard to the ideal-self I envisioned and I was able to pare my "What words...?" list down to eight Core Values ...a more manageable number of success criteria.



TIP #4- Start! Begin! Change your thinking! Get going!

Don't worry or wait if your list of Core Values is not perfect.  Waiting for perfect conditions to begin will only waste more of your precious time (See Critical Insight #3)! It's OK to keep refining your Core Values.  As you focus on your Core Values, you'll find yourself making more decisions that align with them.  You'll also start to gain a different, more refined understanding of some of the words on your "What words...?" list.  Don't be afraid to change a word or two as time goes by.  It doesn't mean you were lying, or wrong, it means you were learning! Life-Long Success requires a life-long journey.  My current eight Core Values were twelve up until about a week ago. I hope to keep making the list smaller as time goes by through continuous improvement efforts at understanding and implementing. Why? I want to keep things as simple as humanly possible.


The journey to Life-Long Success isn't about just doing what feels good.  It's about feeling good because you know the things you're doing are good. It's feeling good about what you're doing.  It's about believing in what you're doing.  This is how we find the conviction to live the lives we want, my friends!                    



A person who looks at these tips at the surface level may respond sarcastically, "Yeah, Tom, great tips, a kid could have come up with those!" The point of the exercise is to THINK!  And, why shouldn't we listen to kids, or take a kid's approach, when it comes to understanding the possibility of being happy? It seems to me we've forgotten how to think like we did when we were kids- when we were happy and the world of possibilities wasn't influenced by the fears of failure we learn from our culture & society. Think for yourself! What do you want?


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Use these Tips to prepare before you use GPS Theory 

If you're planning to interact with BoomLife's GPS Theory application on our website (www.goboomlife.com), I strongly urge you to follow the first three tips from this article first.  Don't even create an account until you've done this! You'll find the experience so much more meaningful when you get the feedback you really seek from the people in your world!  Why? Because you owe it to yourself to put forth real and deliberate effort into identifying your Core Values, the criteria for your Life-Long Success you actually care about! You can interact with GPS Theory on a superficial level if you want to, but just like with any other process: Garbage In = Garbage Out.

Our Newsletter can keep you informed on the status of the GPS Theory web-app, new articles, workshops, events, etc. SIGN UP HERE


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Getting what you want and being the person you want to be can seem complicated and confusing! Together, we'll define what you want, what it takes to get it and help you realize the kind of success you never been able to achieve before! Sign up for personal one-on-one coaching. You can sign up for a program or a single-session. It's up to you!: