Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label courage. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Quit Tomorrow!

Quit Tomorrow!

Resistance to change in the status quo.
People who don't think about why it's important to them.
Indifference, fear of ambiguity, and the desire to get back into your comfort zone.
Physical, mental and spiritual fatigue.
Worry over damaging relationships.
Uncertainty.
All are conditions which exist everywhere, everyday. The overwhelming situation makes you want to quit trying to do something new and amazing, doesn't it?
Quit tomorrow, then.
The_rib_cracker
 There I was: Day two of U.S. Army Ranger School at Fort Benning, Georgia. I hadn't slept in the past 48 hours. The entire time was filled unrelenting vigorous physical challenge in a program intended to weed out the weak. I was exhausted. I'd cracked two ribs on one of the sections of the obstacle course earlier that day. I hurt.
The first four days of Ranger School is where 60% of dropouts occur. Our class had already lost a large number of strong, determined soldiers who'd prepared for months by sundown on day two.
It had been a hot day and now that the sun had gone down the temperature was dipping into the 40's. We were on Malvesti Field slogging through the red Georgia clay. Malvesti Field is that place you always see on television. You know the scene, bald-headed soldiers crawling with their miserable faces pushed down in the mud beneath  a ceiling of barbed wire. To add to my exhaustion and the ribs, which shot bolts of excruciating pain throughout my body everytime I raised my right arm over my shoulder, I now had what felt like a half-gallon of red Georgia clay underneath my eyelids. I was almost blind and trying to negotiate the challenges Malvesti and the Ranger Instructors (RI's) delivered while I begged my eyes to produce enough tears to wash out the sticky mud.
While I pushed my body, there was a war going on in my head. I was thinking about the fact that it was only day two and I had over two months to go! I thought; with all of these forces lined up against me, if I am feeling this weak and vulnerable on day two, how can I possibly last? A feeling of despair came over me. I had a choice to make, hide my weakness, or tell someone about it in an environment full of the toughest people on the planet.
I decided to take a risk.
"I'm not sure I can make it through this course," I whispered to my Ranger buddy, Arjmandi. He was going through the same things I was. He also knew about my ribs and my eyes. 
"Come on, Eakin. I'm going to help you through this."
"No, I'm telling you. I'm not sure I can get through the next 60 days."
"Eakin, I'll make a deal with you. Get through tonight, with me, and we'll both quit tomorrow."
Getting through the night seemed possible. How much worse could it get? Besides, Arjmandi was going to help me. What if he needed me later on? I couldn't help him if I wasn't there, could I? I committed myself in the moment to that short-term goal. "OK. I'm with you, buddy."
"OK, Eakin, these RI's want to break us if they can. This next time through, let's scream like madmen and show them they can't break us."
"Roger that!"
We screamed like banshees! We laughed the whole way through the suck! We made it through every event that night brought us. For our efforts, we got a few hours of sleep that night.
When we woke up, I looked at Arjmandi.
He was grinning from ear to ear. "You still going to quit tomorrow, Eakin?" 
I smiled back at him. "Yeah buddy, I'm going to quit tomorrow."
  • When you're feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of your situation or the challenges you've taken on. Find something productive and meaningful you can focus on and do it.
  • Remember, there is someone out there who believes in you and what you're doing. Lean on them when you need them. The love, brotherhood, and trust you create in those relationships will always be the core of your success.
  • If you don't take a risk and ask for help, you won't get what you really want. Real strength is not shown in facing your problems alone, it comes from having the courage to let others know you need them. 
  • Sometimes you're the weakest, sometimes the strongest. Give what you can, when you can.
  • Quit tomorrow. Why? It is always today. Tomorrow never comes.
I haven't talked to Arjmandi since we graduated from Ranger School in February, 1999 (Class 2-98), two months after he gave me this powerful gift. If I knew how to get in touch with him today, here's what I'd say:
"Thank you, Arjmandi, for being worthy of my trust in a time where I was most vulnerable. You taught me a lesson which has served me well and has helped me accomplish more than I ever thought possible. I will always love you like a brother for that. It's been fifteen years, but I still know I can count on you and that, my friend, is priceless. For you, and because of you, I will always quit tomorrow." 
I hope this article finds you some day. When it does, drop me a line. We'll catch up.

If you're tired of feeling overwhelmed by the challenges life throws at you, it's time to pick new challenges. Find people who will support you and show you the way. Download our Success Planning Guide for FREE! This guide is full of tools designed to help you through GPS Theory's process of changing the way you think and is a companion to my new book, Finding Success: Get what you really want. 

At BoomLife We Want To Share Values-Driven Success

BUY THE BOOK  NOW! 

If you're looking for inspiration, take a look at our BoomShare! videos. We wanted to share stories about people who are inspired to do great things so we created this series of interviews. These people want to help people find success. Hear their stories and learn how you can connect with them...and help. 

If you know someone who is doing great things to help others in meaningful ways, we'd appreciate it if you'd make an introduction so we can connect and feature their story in a future BoomShare! episode. You can email your submission to: tom@goboomlife.com



BOOM!

Tom Eakin
Success Engineer, BoomLife
Author of Finding Success


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    Sunday, September 7, 2014

    Tear Away the "Veneer of Uncomfortable Truths"


    Tear Away the "Veneer of Uncomfortable Truths"


    It is a courageous person, indeed, who is willing to break down the illusions we often turn into "truths". I wanted to share a few quotes from the moving and courageous human story in this TEDx video. 










    Here are a few points to watch out for in the story:

    ~7:42- "The old adage, 'With age comes wisdom,' is not true. With age comes the veneer of respectability and a veneer of uncomfortable truths." 

    ~17:45- "There are no such things as facts. There are only versions. We all tell ourselves the version of the story we can best live with. Each...builds up an edifice which they are reluctant to, or sometimes unable to, disassemble."



    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05jJodDVJRQ&feature=em-subs_digest

    A veneer, like a facade, is designed to hide the truth about something...or someone. 
    Finding Success
    PRE-ORDER THE BOOK NOW!


    Are you willing to tear away the "veneer" with which you cover your "uncomfortable truths" about who you are and what you can be so you can live the life you dreamed of when you were a kid?


    BOOM!

    -Tom

    If you're the kind of person who wants to find the kind of satisfaction that only comes from living by your values sign up for BoomLife's mailing list, below. We'll keep you informed on when are where you can get my upcoming book, Finding Success and what we're doing at BoomLife to help people find values-driven success with GPS Theory.



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    Sunday, September 29, 2013

    How To Become Powerfully Social & Socially Powerful!

    How Become Powerfully Social and Socially Powerful!

    In the next few weeks, BoomLife will be announcing the beta launch of our GPS Theory App and I wanted to take a few minutes to communicate how it represents an opportunity for you to be both Powerfully Social and Socially Powerful. I like to break systems down to their simplest forms so I can understand how the components relate to each other and learn how they can be best combined to create more value than they could on their own. So, let's take a look at what it means to be "Powerful" and "Social" and how they create value together.  Since we're talking about creating value, let's discussion the concept of "Value" first.

    Value

    Life is all about satisfying the human craving for success in the form of creating or preserving value. The underlying reason any of us does anything is to realize a net-positive value. Value is
    Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
    a complex concept with many meanings. Our craving to realize a net-positive value, or success, relates to all forms of the word, it relates to getting what we want and being the person we want to be. I can promise you this, though, you can't get what you want if you are not, first, the person you want to be. But, what does "the person you want to be" look like? How can you achieve your ideal-self? Finding the answer to questions like these is where GPS Theory becomes a powerful tool. The simplest way for me to help you understand where to start is to advise you to know the answers to the following question and do the things it takes to represent, or personify, them so you can be the person you want and live the life you dream of.  

    What words do you want others to use to describe you and the life you've lived?

    The answers to this question, if you've taken the time to answer it fully and deliberately, equal your Core Values. Chances are, you have an idea of what success looks like but the fear of failure has driven you from doing what it takes to realize the success you seek. The problem lies in the gap between what you say you value, or how you say you want to create value in your World, and the value, positive or negative, you've actually created through your behaviors.

    Become Powerful

    Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
     Do you want to be powerful?  Or, do you want to do things that are powerful? Here's an example that relates to creating value within your World: Let's say you value "Honor". There are two ways you can approach honor. You can say you honor the people in your World whom you have relationships with. Or, you can show them honor through your actions and prove it to them! What do you want? Honor? Or, the illusion of honor? The same thought process can be applied to any Core Value to help you understand whether you're willing to do what it takes to personify it.

    GPS Theory provides the means to be able to tell the difference between living your Core Values and creating the illusion that you are. The articles in the BoomBlog communicate the concepts behind GPS Theory; how you can identify and define the Core Values that can drive your success and the importance of being consistent in doing what it takes to personify them. The GPS Theory App is designed to help you understand if your decisions, actions and behaviors are in alignment with your stated Core Values. The term "stated Core Values" implies that you share the person you want to be with the people in your world.  Do you do that? Does it sound kind of scary? Does it sound like you might be putting yourself in a vulnerable position? You will. Just remember, the key to achieving success is breaking through the barriers your imagination creates when you perceive others may judge you harshly for living for what you believe in. 

    So, how can you feel powerful and vulnerable to the judgment of others at the same time? The first step in the GPS Theory App helps you prepare for this by identifying and defining your Core Values.  This exercise is empowering!  With every meaningful Core Value you add to your "What words...?" list (your answer to the question, "What words do you want others to use to describe you and the life you've lived?") you will recognize that you CAN personify that word, especially as you seek to understand its meaning. You will see there is nothing stopping you from doing things that allow you to be that word in your own eyes and in the perspective of the people in your World. Now, that's empowerment! That's knowing how to do things that are powerful! Once you know how to do powerful things you will not need to rely on the judgments of others to determine what you can or cannot do.

    Become Social

    Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
    The adjective definitions of the word "Social" provided by visualthesaurus.com 
    Source: www.visualthesaurus.com
    communicate what it means to be social. Terms like, "enjoying life," "friendly companionship," and "live together," evoke the sense of community we have the ability to build and share as human beings.  But, those terms are placed next to phrases in the definitions like 
    "organized groups," and "groups or colonies of the same kind," which reflect the human tendency to separate into groups based on characteristics that make us different. Can you recognize how we've used the concept of social to organize ourselves by focusing on what makes us different from others? Is it possible to find common ground based on what makes us fundamentally the same through our human condition? But, what is common to all human beings beyond just our state of being human?  The answer, I believe and propose, is Core Values. 

    I've already stated that we all seek to create or preserve a net-positive value. The fact that you're still reading this article implies, or assumes, you agree with that premise.  Take a look at the picture of the visualthesaurus.com rendering of the word "Value," above, and you will find one definition stating it is " the quality that renders something desirable...." That definition connects the concept of "Value" with "Social" through Core Values.  Core Values, remember, represent the words you want, or desire, other people to use to describe you. You choose your Core Values as representative of what you believe to be "good" and "right". So, here's the connection: You can only believe other people will use the words you want them to if you interact with them and show them the words you want them to use to describe you through behaviors that align with them.

    Become Powerfully Social

    Does the belief that people will use the words you want to describe you and the life you've lived mean they will? As we interact with people our intentions and motives are only known to us. How they are perceived by others through their observations of our behaviors is unknown. Often, our behaviors communicate different values than we intend to others as we interact with them. The GPS Theory App creates the opportunity to find out whether other people perceive our actions as representative of our Core Values.  How? It allows you to share your Core Values with the people in your World while you ask them to rate how well you personify them based on their observations.  


    You will be amazed at they way others will react to you and how powerful your social network will become in helping you achieve success.

    Become Socially Powerful

    When people give you the gift of trust by asking you to rate them with the GPS Theory App, provide them with honest and accurate ratings. They cannot change if they don't recognize the need to do better. They will not change unless you show them gaps between actions they want to be perceived as "good" and "right" and the value they actually create. 
    That's why the GPS Theory App doesn't ask you to:

    • Judge others based on what you think of them. 
    • Tell them how they've done you wrong.
    • Tell them what to do. 
    The GPS Theory App asks you to:

    • Show the people who ask for your help which of their Core Values they already personify.
    • Show them through your ratings whether you'd use the words they want to describe them and the life they've lived.
    • Compel them to think more about how their behaviors will affect the people in their World before they decide to act in the future. 

    The GPS Theory App provides you with a safe and secure environment to communicate without fear of conflict or reprisal. The ratings you provide are confidential. The person you are rating will never know what feedback you, specifically, provide. Your responsibility is to be honest and accurate.   

    You can become socially powerful through the legitimate use of the influence you have in helping others recognize what aspects of their decision-making they need to change in order to do what it takes to get what they want AND be the person they want to be.
     

    GET YOUR COPY NOW!
    If you want to become:
    • Powerfully Social
    • Socially Powerful
    Read Finding Success for strategies on how to define your values and doing the things that reflect them!

    Then, try the GPS Theory App on our website at: www.goboomlife.com




    Friday, September 20, 2013

    How to Provide Feedback to a GPS Theory Subscriber Who Has Requested It

    How to "Rate" A GPS Theory Subscriber Who Has Asked For Your Help

    Someone you know has just asked you to "rate" them through BoomLife's GPS Theory web-application.  

    You received this request through one of the following sources:
    • An email addressed directly to you and sent from BoomLife (at their request).
    • A Facebook request they recently posted.
    • A Tweet they recently sent on Twitter.
    You've been given a very valuable gift!  The gift of Trust!  You now have the opportunity to give them something even more valuable! Honest and Accurate Feedback that could change that persons life in positive ways! At this point, you can't even imagine the magnitude of the positive effect your ratings could have on their life...or yours for that matter.

    Success is getting what you want.  Life-Long Success is getting what you want AND being the person you want to be.  You can't get what you want if you are not, first, the person you want to be. You can identify the person you want to be by answering this question: What words you want other people to use to describe you and the life you've lived?  The words you use to answer this question are your Core Values, they identify and define the person you want to be. 

    It takes courage to share "the person you want to be" with the people in your World so they can help you understand if your behaviors reflect your Core Values. It took a lot of courage for this person to share their Core Values with you.  It took even more courage for them ask you for help!

    What's in it for you?

    This is an opportunity to:
    • Help Someone Grow!- Doesn't it feel great when you help someone? 
    • Help Yourself...
    You're thinking, "What? How does giving someone feedback, especially feedback they probably won't like, going to be helpful to me? Doing that can only create trouble for me!" Well, what if their behavior has not been in alignment with one of their Core Values AND it's been having a negative impact on you in some way. You've never told them about it because you feared it would hurt their feelings or would make them mad. You've always feared saying something would only make things worse. But, hasn't maintaining the status quo by allowing their behaviors negatively affect your life already caused enough trouble for you?  

    Here's the good part: Providing feedback via the GPS Theory web-application is safe and confidential.  You can provide ratings with the security of knowing they will not know who gave them what score on any given value.  You are not alone. They have asked other people to provide the feedback they need. They only see the data. There is no way they can determine from whom each dot (data point) on their GPS Check Report (chart) came from.

    Here's the really great part!: What if they actually change because of the ratings you provide them!?!  How much better would that make your own life and your relationship with them? Your trust in them will grow as they show you how important your feedback is...by changing their behaviors...by closing the gap between the standard their Core Values represent and the ratings the people in their World...people like you...have given them!

    What's in it for them?

    When you provide honest and accurate ratings based on your observations of their behaviors in relation to each of their stated Core Values you are giving them the gift of being able to see what the people in their World see: The person they show the world versus the person they want to be! This is the most valuable information a person who really wants to live the life of their dreams can ever receive! You have the ability to give it and it will cost you next to nothing to give them what they're asking for.

    Remember this: Because they're taking the risk of asking for your help, they recognize they will only gain and keep your trust if they change. So, give them what they're asking for and help them change in ways that are meaningful to both of you. 
    They will grow only if they step outside of their comfort zone and have the courage to change. They may only find the courage to change if you help them. You have an opportunity to make a difference in someone's life and in your own World!

    How long will it take?

    The GPS Theory web-app makes it so easy!  It will only take a few minutes.

    How do I "measure" or "rate" a person based on their Core Values?

    A Core Value represents a standard.  For example, let's say "Truth" is one of the Core Values you're being asked to rate someone on. This person is telling you, "I want to be honest!," and that 100% honest behavior is the standard of conduct they are trying to live by.

    The first question you need to answer: Has (place their name here) been (place Core Value here) 100% of the time I've had the opportunity to observe them?
    • If Yes, you can confidently give them a 100% rating.
    • If No, you have some thinking to do.  Anything less than 100% means they've compromised when it comes to deciding what actions they should take in certain situations.  What message do you want to send them? A higher rating that is less than 100% and indicates it's not that important they change? Or, a lower rating that let's them know their behaviors have impacted you, one of the people in their World, negatively? The answer is up to you.  
    Source: http://www.languagemonitor.com/new-words/
    number-of-words-in-the-english-language-1008879/
    The folks at BoomLife want to remind you of this fact: This person has told you the word you're rating them on is so important to them that they've chosen it as one of only a dozen, or so, words out of over a million words in the English language. It is a word they want other people to use to describe them. You should only use this word to describe them if their behaviors allow you to. This person will only change if the data the people in their World (like you) provide them indicates they need to. Can you see now just how valuable your answer really could be to them? If you don't give them an honest and accurate rating, and their behavior needs to change in some way, they will keep making the same mistakes they've made in the past.

    Remember these important things:

    • Success is getting what you want.
    • Life-Long Success is getting what you want AND being the person you want to be.
    • You can't get what you want if you are not, first, the person you want to be.
    • This person has given you a valuable gift! They're trusting you to help them be the person they want to be!
    • It took a lot of courage to ask for your help!
    • The gift you can give them in return could be PRICELESS to them...and to you!
    • You can help them without the fear of conflict or reprisal- They will never know how you answer!
    • They are asking for the truth. Give it to them!
    • The help you provide this person could make your relationship with them stronger than you ever thought possible! 
    • You have the same opportunity as this person does to live the life you truly want! Why not take it! 
    If you want to be:
    • INSPIRED by your Core Values
    • The person you WANT to be.
    Then try the GPS Theory App on our website at www.goboomlife.com

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