Ever Do What You Said You Wouldn't?

 

EVER DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T?

I was recently asked if I could facilitate a workshop intended to help align an executive team that had gone through an enormous amount of change. Almost half of the dozen, or so, team members had joined the organization within the past six months. 

I said I could facilitate the process and provided a proposal that included a team alignment workshop. 

They hired me.

Oh, the workshop happened. But, I did anything but facilitate.

You see, I had just re-engineered my content. I had a new workbook full of new stuff that I couldn't wait to share with everyone. That "stuff" included information, activities, and videos all identified, crafted, and assembled to facilitate a new process through which a team could become aligned in a way that would be meaningful for the organization and to each individual.

Then, a funny thing happened.  I started talking.

I started sharing my pearls of wisdom and the gold verbal nuggets I'd thought up in the previous weeks while I was developing this "new and improved" team alignment process. 

Apparently, I liked the sound of my voice so much...I kept on talking...and sharing...I felt so generous!

What I Planned To Not Do

My client didn't need me to talk and share so much. He needed the people on his "new" team to talk and share.

He gave me a few signals throughout the afternoon. He tactfully urged me several times to get to the part where his people could start to define the reasons why they would want to connect with each other. He wanted them to discover why they might start to develop trust so that some day they'd love working with each other enough to ask more of, and give more for, each other when they really needed to.

But, by that point, the train (a.k.a. my mouth) had gained a lot of momentum. I'd gotten far and deep enough into the minutia of most of the concepts that I was compelled to take them the rest of the way despite his polite and respectful signals. 

So, when the afternoon was almost over and we only had about a third of the time needed to start the process I had planned to facilitate I put myself in a position where I had to make a choice: Start the process at the beginning knowing it won't be finished? Or, skip a few steps and get to the heart of the process?

I chose the latter. It didn't go well. 

I tried to pull everyone straight to the climactic point in my process where they would all join hearts and hands and make up a team song, or something. Meanwhile, they struggled to build a framework on top of something they hadn't had a chance to build a foundation under. Thanks to me, they knew everything there is to know about the building materials for that foundation, but I didn't give them a chance to put their hands on them.

What I Said I Wouldn't Do

I didn't facilitate a workshop! To facilitate is to "make easier or less difficult," "to assist the progress of." I didn't do that. I didn't make it easier for my client's team members to progress in the development of connection, trust, and love. I didn't make it harder for them either...but that's not the point.

Instead, I did what I'd always said I didn't want to do if I were going to get into this kind of business: regurgitate. I puked "wisdom" all over them. Not once, not for a short period...for several hours!

How I Felt About It After

I felt like anyone who, drunk on his own wine, threw it back up on people he wants to be his friends- Disgusted and dissatisfied with myself. 

When the workshop ended, at first, I wasn't sure how well it had gone. As I was driving home after the workshop, I kept asking myself, "Are they even going to have me back?" The inquiring voice was my subconscious trying to force the question to a conscious level. Was I successful at facilitating the workshop? Did I give them a reason to continue the conversation? I just didn't know. I felt terrible as if I'd broken a promise. The truth of the matter was, I did not do what I'd said I'd do. Not completely anyway.

I'm glad I listened to that voice and heeded the subconscious signal...or else I'd still feel disgusted and dissatisfied with myself today.

What I Did About It

First, I had another workshop with another client five days later. I changed my whole approach. I followed the plan I'd envisioned but didn't prepare well enough to execute in the previous workshop. I could tell by the level of engagement, the animated conversations, the singing (OK, there wasn't any spontaneous singing...but it would have been really cool if there was!)

Second, I went back to that first client and I told him the truth about my dissatisfaction. I said, "I apologize if my learning curve compromised the value of the day in terms of your team's ability to align with its newer members. I know I could have done better. I recognize I wouldn't be able to live up to my own core values of serving, being trustworthy, supportive, seeking, creative, and courageous if I didn't reach out to communicate these thoughts with you, even if doing so is difficult."  And, yes, it was really difficult.

In the end, I thanked him for his patience and for the grace he showed during the workshop and told him I looked forward to seeing where the relationship might progress. 

What Happened Next

Well, so far, nothing. I haven't heard back from him. Not yet. Maybe never, although I am eager to see whether the "relationship might progress" from here. 

But, it's not always about the results you get. I feel better. I'm still not satisfied with the way I conducted myself during that workshop, but I can't turn back and change that. Instead, I created the possibility for the truth to become a part of the conversation and I followed a path from failure to values-driven success:

1) I felt like I'd failed and paid attention to the signals which indicated so. You see, I gave a workshop. It would be easy to call it a success.

3) I asked why it felt like I'd failed even though it appeared I'd done what I'd been hired to do. It's difficult to argue with success, you know.

4) I determined what I could do better the next time.

5) I did it better the next time.

6) I told the truth. I admitted that in that workshop I did not perform like the expert I said I was...that I did not act like the facilitator I've been for others countless times before and should have been for my client that day. 

7) I found satisfaction in my actions regardless of the results and the conviction to keep moving forward...even though it's really hard.

"Success is getting what you want. Values-driven success is getting what you want and being the person you want to be. Here's the catch, you can't get what you really want if you are not first, the person you want to be." (from Finding Success).

I may not be as self-aware as I need to be in the moment...I'm human...but I'm thankful to be willing and courageous enough to hear the voice I often want to drown out with self-served "atta boys;" the one that tells me I could have done better. Shame cannot be overcome without facing it.

Onward; full of fear and imperfection. Yet, I go.

What Did You Plan to Do and Didn't...or Not To Do and Did?

Ever not do what you'd said you'd do even though, technically, you could call it a success? What happened? What did you do about it and how did that change things for you for the better...or worse? 

I'd love to hear your story and so would everyone else, so why not share it in the comments section, below! What's the matter? Afraid we'll laugh at you? It's hard to laugh at what we see in the mirror.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tom Eakin is the author of Finding Success and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...

READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER FROM THE BOOK

On Confidence, Conviction, and Finding Success

On Confidence, Conviction and Finding Success

As a U.S. Army Ranger-qualified Combat Engineer Officer, I learned how to find the confidence and conviction to do what it took to accomplish the mission even when it was really hard…especially when it was really hard.

Later, I applied what I’d learned in the corporate environment. I developed a values-based approach that helped my team increase performance by over 300% and was awarded at the highest level by my company. Two years later, I was fired. Even though I had proven my values-driven approach increased employee engagement, I was doing something others just weren’t ready to try to understand.

Why Confidence Can Be Good

Decision-making is the most critical aspect of achieving success: A decision precedes every act. Everything we do leads to what we have, and will, become.

Confidence comes from past successes and learning. Our experience teaches us we can be successful. We need confidence to make decisions in uncertain situations.

The Problem with Confidence

We have a tendency to become lazy in our confidence. Relying more on what experience has taught us and ignoring relevant facts can trick us into thinking that just because something worked in one situation, it will work in another.

My own confidence proved to be deceptive as I tried to expand my values-driven approach beyond my span of authority.

Confidence can leave us without a solid foundation in times of failure. If I only had confidence to rely on as I introduced my new concept to the world, I would have quit long ago.

Where Conviction Fits In

Conviction comes from what you believe and compels you to inspired action.

While it was difficult for me to reconcile the organizational success I’d created with the personal result I’d reaped by getting fired, I believed in my new approach. I forged ahead. I developed “GPS Theory” and launched BoomLife.

Conviction has driven me past the frustrating failures and entrepreneurial loneliness that come with creating something that is not yet commonly understood.

The Challenge with Conviction

It’s very easy to inappropriately apply conviction to the means instead of the end.

When I launched the “GPS Theory” application on my website, people didn’t interact with it as I had expected. If all of my conviction was focused on this tool I would have given up. Instead, I realized I needed to find different ways to present the concepts behind “GPS Theory” in order for others to recognize its real value.

See what I did there?

Find the Perfect Blend

Confidence and conviction are not mutually exclusive. You need confidence in what you’re doing, so you can repeat what works. You need conviction to compel you to keep moving forward even when things don’t go your way so you can find what works. You need to find the perfect blend to find values-driven success.

For more thought-provoking discussion on finding values-driven success, inspiring stories of people who’ve achieved it and strategies you can apply, read my new book, Finding Success: Get what you really want.

Have a story about a time when you may have had too much confidence for the situation? Too much conviction? Why not share your story in the comments section? Who knows...sharing your pain may spare someone else theirs.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tom Eakin is the author of Finding Success and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...

READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER FROM THE BOOK

Why People Give More and Why They Don't- A Love Story

I Searched for a Decade for an Answer to This Question

As a Ranger and Combat Engineer Officer, I learned how to make values-based decisions every day…even when it was really hard…especially when it was really hard.  In that culture, success absolutely depended on relationships and trust.

Later, I learned that success in the corporate culture was often limited by the desires of the individual and for years my frustration with that attitude drove me to seek a solution. If I had a dollar for every relationship I messed up trying different things...

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was constantly asking this question, "Why were the soldiers I served with so much more willing to give such tremendous effort and serve so selflessly when so many of my corporate colleagues who were making so much more money were just putting in their time?"

The Answer Finally Came to Me In a Book

In 2012, I read a story in the book, They Fought for Each Other, by Kelly Kennedy, and I was soon able to put all of the pieces of the values-based system that had been floating around in my head for years. It was a true story about  a soldier named Ross McGinnis who saved the lives of his friends by purposefully blocking them from the blast of a grenade that was inside their vehicle. I later analyzed a part of McGinniss' story in my own book as an example of someone who finds inspired values-driven success.

Kennedy is so genuine in telling the stories of McGinness and his brothers in Charlie company as they help each other live through a series of devastating experiences that I'll leave the details to hear. I highly recommend her book. If we want to grow as human beings, we need to read stories like this one, stories about real human beings that break our hearts while reminding us of the spirit that drives people to do incredible things.

Every soldier wonders if they'll do what it takes to do what their friends need them to do when it matter most…especially when it’s really hard.

If You're Struggling With Following Me So Far, Here's Why

People have asked me many times, “How can such a tragic story possibly illustrate the real meaning of success? He was killed! Nobody wants that!” And, they wonder, "What does a story about soldiers have to do with success in business, anyway?"

I get it. It doesn't appear to be a very good example. But appearances can be deceiving.

So, I reply, "Think. What words would you use to describe Ross’ actions?"

They invariably use words like Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage (These words, by the way, are U.S. Army Core Values) and others like them. I hear words which any human being would want others to use to describe them even more than they'd like to hear themselves defined by their job title, the company they work for, how much money and power they have, the car they drive, the clothes they wear, etc. You know, all the things that appear to be measurements of success in our culture. 

But, the reason why Ross did what he did was much more significant.

Why Did He Do It?

What Ross McGinnis sacrificed his life for was LOVE. You see, every virtuous value leads back to Love.

Ross saw the grenade go into the Humvee. He tried to keep it from getting in.

He could have jumped out immediately after alerting everyone. He’d done his duty, right?

But, McGinnis recognized that no one inside the vehicle saw the grenade, they didn't immediately react after he screamed, "Grenade!", and he saw it sitting right in the middle of four people he couldn’t imagine the world without: These were people he Loved.

Ross knew in that split second what he was willing to live the rest of his life for.

The fact that the rest of his life lasted only a split second longer isn't the point. He made a choice to live for LOVE and in his critical moment, Ross McGinnis gave four lifetimes worth of it.

Love reminded him of his loyalty and his duty and gave him an overwhelming respect for the lives of others. Love compelled him to serve selflessly and on the honorable path.

Love provided integrity within his decisions and actions and created the personal courage Ross needed to face the consequences of his dilemma.

In Case You're Still Not Convinced

Think about it this way: What if Ross had made the different choice? What would the rest of his life had been like? Would he have considered himself a success if he'd jumped out knowing he could have done something to save his four friends? Would he have gotten what he really wanted?

Ross McGinnis believed in what he was doing, he was satisfied with his actions. He died, and it's tragic. But, he died with Love in his heart. His example is truly one of values-driven success.His is a story about Love- A Love Story.

What Does This Mean in the "Real" World?

We are each faced with dilemmas great and small every day and fail to recognize the opportunity to create value by being vulnerable.

After I read Kennedy's book, I realized what is lacking in corporate cultures where success is limited so much by the desires of the individual- Real relationships based on trust. The reason so many employees are not engaged is because nobody has given them reason to care about anybody else but themselves. What they get from the organization, their leadership and their colleagues is relegated to a transactional level, so they reciprocate.

In other words: If people don't feel the Love, why would they fight for you? Not all Love stories have happy endings. Some are tragic. Some leave you longing for something more.

Still, people say, "But, McGinnis' story is about war where lives are at risk! It's not like that in the "real" world!"

Really? Are you going to tell me finding meaningful success in your personal and professional life doesn't depend on doing what you Love with people you Love? Do you really believe you can do it without authentic relationships? Without trust? Without Love? Isn't it always relationships in which trust and Love do not exist that lead to war in the "real" world?

I promise you this, my friend, your life absolutely depends on it! And, your stake in it grows exponentially with every person you genuinely care about. 

Think about it. If I haven't convince you by now, don't bother reading the next section. It won't help you. I wish you well.

I Want to Share This Simple but Amazing "Trick"

Success is getting what you want (Look it up, see if come to the same conclusion as me). I'm not satisfied with that definition and you shouldn't be either! Something very important is missing!

It’s really hard to always know the right thing to do in every situation especially with such an incomplete definition of success, so here’s a simple "trick" that will always help you: Expand your definition of success. I call the expanded version, "Values-driven success".

Values-driven success is getting what you want and being the person you want to be. Here’s the catch, you can’t get what you really want, if you are not first the person you want to be.

Actually, it's not a trick, at all. It's a clear and logical way of thinking and acting. So, if you use it, you'll actually be clearing away all of the crap that has been limiting your success. You limit your success with confounded thought process that makes things (money, power, position, etc.) the main characters in your Love story. Are they really the reason why you're here?

If You Want to Lead Anyone...Anyone at All, You Need a System

The practice of values-driven success is scalable and can work in any cultural context if you know how to build a system for communication, measurement, and continuous improvement. 

Build that system and you can begin to build trust. Eventually, people will Love working with you. Think about it this way. I told you Ross' story and explained why he did it. The truth of the matter is, that story is as much about the other guys, the people he saved. He did it because he felt Love for them...which means up until that critical moment they did things that caused him to trust them...to Love them.

Once you've given people a reason to engage and satisfied the conditions for Trust and Love, they will lead you to your greatest opportunities for growth. There's just no telling how much value you'll get from the Love they'll give because of what you give them!

How will your Love stories end?

Will people will do amazing things because what they value aligns with what you need them to do?

Will your staff give the effort you need them to?

Will your board focus and lead the way you need them to?

Will your customers and members give what you need to fund your efforts to help more people?

Do you know why they will or won't?

It all starts and ends with Love.

I'm interested in your thoughts and insights. Why not give some Love and share them in the comments section below? And, remember, Love doesn't always mean agreement. If you disagree with anything I've shared here, I'd Love to hear your logic and reasons.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tom Eakin is the author of Finding Success and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...

READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER FROM THE BOOK

Three Books Every Graduate Should Read

Three Books Every Graduate Should Read

It's that time of year. A point in the lives of people of all ages who are getting ready to graduate. So you're thinking, "What should I give them? There's always cash. But, isn't there something else that would be of more value to them?" 

The answer is, yes. 

Here is a guide to a few gifts that provide powerful tools every graduate on your list can use. I've made it even easier by helping you decide which of these books would be the best gift for the graduate you're thinking about.

There are three kinds of graduates:

1. The Completely Confident.

They have a plan, they know what they want to do, and what they will do next. You know who I'm talking about, the students who were active in clubs and student leadership while in school. They're excited about moving on to the next step! 

Now, as this graduate leaves the networks that have helped them gain success in their academic endeavors, they're going to re-structure their network to fit their future needs. 

This graduates need to develop or expand their network so they can make connections with the people who will help them. 

The Ties That Bind: Networking With Style, by networking expert, Danny Beyer is a great gift for the graduate on your list who fits this description. It is the consummate guide to networking. Whether your graduate is new at it, or a seasoned connector, they'll learn something new and significant!

Q: How can I know which graduate on my list needs this book? 

A: Don't worry, their parents will be bragging about them. There's your sign.

2. The Confidently Confounded. 

They have a plan and they think they know what they want to do, but they're not quite sure. 

There is a little voice inside them that keeps asking whether they've chosen the career path that's right for them. That little voice is a signal. They will probably end up taking a job, "Just to get started out," and then a few years later may find themselves stuck. That voice is actually confirming what they already know, They sense their plan isn't refined enough to get them where they really want to go...unless they're lucky (and some people are), but they don't know exactly how to change that.

It's OK to take that first job to make ends meet, the key is to avoid getting stuck.

This graduate needs a refined plan. So, when they take that first job so they can systematically plan exactly what they need to do, over time, so they can work toward what they really want to do. 

Cracking the Career Code provides the structure this graduate will need to assess, plan, and implement, so they find satisfaction in life. Tom Henricksen is the career planning expert who wrote this book to share his system.

Q: How can I know which graduate on my list needs this book? 

A: When you ask them, "What's next?" Look in their eyes. Listen to their language. If they kind of have that, "I'm good, thanks," attitude but they also look like a deer blinded by headlights and they use words like, "hopefully" a lot, you'll know.

3. The Completely Confounded. 

They're simply overwhelmed by the changes that are right in their face. They don't have a plan, they don't have a useful network, and they're scared to death, right now. Others, especially their parents, are really concerned about them and wonder if they're even capable of stepping out into the great unknown. 

This graduates is capable, I can assure you of that. They need to find conviction. They don't know what they value and because of that, they don't know what career path will align best with the person they really want to be. 

The truth is, right now, they think they need to figure everything out all at once. They can't wrap their minds around the fact that they don't need to. 

Why not?

Because, right now, success is being measured, for them and their peers, by the strength of their plan. Everybody is shaking their hand, slapping them on the back and congratulating them on accomplishing this milestone.  These well-wishers are also asking, "What's your plan?" 

It feels like their entire future...their whole life...is staring them in the face. Scary stuff. Especially when their friends and peers have answers! I know this...I've been there. 

Finding Success: Get What You Really Want can help people define their own destination: the person they really want to be. Without a destination, it doesn't matter how you get there, right? In other words, if you don't want to go through life with "no more control" over your "direction than a paper airplane has over its flight path," figure out who you want to be so you can do things that will make you that person. 

Help the graduates you know make decisions and take actions that align with what they truly value at their core.

READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER from Finding Success

Q: How can I know which graduate on my list needs this book?

A: Again, their parents will let you know. They'll say things like, "I just know know what he's going to do," or, "We told him he's going to have to figure it out because he's not staying with us," or "It's like he doesn't know what's about to happen."  The graduate, might even tell you. Too easy.

A Question for You

When you made a major life-transition like graduating from high school or college, what resources do you wish you had available to help you get where you really want to be without so much pain? 

I'd love to hear your story. Please share it in the comments section, below!

Final Thought.

Is it possible all three categories of graduates could use all three books? The world changes. People change their minds. Unexpected things happen. The resources available to a person dealing with major life changes can make a world of difference.

If you were thinking about giving them a $50 bill, here's an opportunity to spend about the same amount and provide something much more valuable.

Here are your options:

1. Cover a tiny fraction of your graduate's college tuition, or maybe their electric bill for about a month if they're entering the workforce. 
2. Add significant values to their life and their livelihood with a powerful toolbox consisting of these three books which are chock full of the kind of help they'll need.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tom Eakin is the author of Finding Success and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...

Don't Be Confused About Why People Leave

Do you have key employees who, if you lost them, would leave such a hole in your company or team that you're not sure you could ever fill it? Do you know what would make them want to stay with you? Do you know the real reason about why they might leave?

A friend of mine started working for a startup company a few years ago. She managed the operation as the company grew from less than 50 employees to over 200. It's easy to see that she's been critical to the company's growth and financial success. She recently gave her boss two week's notice. She accepted another job and took a large pay cut. 

The Awesomeness...and the Confusion 

First, I'm happy for her because she found the courage to make this difficult decision. She had to conquer her fear that she and her husband would not be able to make ends meet. In the end, they decided the most important influencing factor was her satisfaction in the work she was doing. I want to celebrate their level of faith that fulfilling the human spirit is more important than filling the bank account. You see, they recognize they have a challenging money problem. They also recognize they're capable of finding solutions. BOOM!! (picture a fist bump explosion here)

On the other hand, I also know her boss. He's confused and never saw it coming. Why did she leave? He's concerned about how he's going to make things work, although he won't admit it. I can hear it in his voice. Meanwhile, he's doing what entrepreneurs have a tendency to do, focusing on the best solution to this complex problem. 

My concern for him is this: I'm quite sure he recognized the opportunity that's been lost for him and his company. The future value of the value she'd helped him create in just a few short years instantly turned to zero.

In his rush to fill the vacuum, has he taken the time to understand why that opportunity was lost and how he could have seen it coming? 

Was it About the Money?

When she was hire, in the early days of the company, he pitched her a value-proposition that looked like this: "I can't pay you very much right now. But, if you help me grow this company, your compensation could more than double in the next few years."

He gave her a few small raises along the way. He provided a few perks and she appreciated them. But, as the Company realized the success he envisioned, the ratio between the rewards he promised in relation to the growth and the rewards he provided were miles apart.

It's easy to think this means it was about the money. But, actually, it wasn't. She heard that initial value-proposition, she bought into it, she delivered what she promised. He delivered part of it. But, it was easy for her to see the gap and it caused her to wonder if she could trust him, especially while she watched him spend money on things the company didn't really need.

So, money was a part of the problem, but not the real root cause. It was trust. He offered her more money the minute she told him she was leaving. She turned his offer down. Nobody who takes a job that pays them less money than they're currently making does it because of the money.

Other Key Factors

My two friends think in different ways. 

She knows that you can't make everyone happy so the best you can do is build a structure that creates accountability and be consistent so that people can be satisfied that they are being treated as fairly as is reasonably possible. 

He wants everyone to be happy and have fun at work. He thinks the way to do that is not create cumbersome rules and structure.

She values the personal relationship and puts it in front of the transaction.

He values the things success brings and prioritizes the transaction over the relationship.

Here's how things went down:

• She quickly became dissatisfied when he didn't allow her to create a structure with which she could lead the staff and hold them accountable.
• He became dissatisfied any time he recognized a gap between the things the employees on their staff did and his definition of acceptable professional behavior...a definition that was never documented and never fully communicated.
• Her dissatisfaction turned to frustration as she watched his emotional reactions and suggested solutions which he rejected.
• His dissatisfaction turned to frustration as he failed to solve the same problems over and over again.
• As he continued to react to situations based on emotions, he never felt he could trust his employees.
• Employees became confused about what they were supposed to be doing because no clear expectations were ever given. A lot of turnover in the staff resulted. 
• She became frustrated in her efforts to create the kind of high-performance work environment he said he wanted, and she knew how to deliver, because he wouldn't allow her to create the structure needed. So, she lost trust that she would be able to lead in his company the way she envisioned she could.
• She worked extremely long hours through the growth, the turnover, the shortage of resources, and her personal need to fulfill her responsibilities. No matter how many unplanned problems she had to help solve throughout the day, employees still needed to get their paychecks, invoices still needed to be created and sent to customers, the bills needed to be paid. She arrived at six thirty and often worked until ten at night for weeks and months at a time. He worked a normal work day.
• He failed to recognize the gap between the value-proposition he promised and what he delivered. The loss of trust weakened the connection for her.
• He failed to help her be the leader she really wanted to be. His lack of trust in her abilities further strained the connection.
• He failed to recognize her efforts and to reward them in meaningful ways. It's important to say, "You're doing a great job," but there comes a point where that's just not enough. She felt her efforts were unnoticed, under-valued, and unappreciated. One day she asked herself, "Why should I continue doing this?"  The love was lost.

Could He Have Prevented it?

The simple answer is, yes. But only if he'd seen it coming. 

Could He Have Seen it Coming?

Again, yes. But, only if he was looking...and listening...only if he valued his relationships with all of his key stakeholders more than the transactions that created wealth for his company...only if he were willing and able to measure the strength of the relationship as much as he measured the bottom line.

Business success is based on the value of the transaction. 

The transaction only happens if the relationship is seen as mutually beneficial by all involved. So, which is more important? The transaction or the relationship? Which one sets the conditions for success for the other?

I know you're smart. You know the real answer.

How to Create Mutually Beneficial Relationships

1. Create Connection- Strengthen the attraction!
• Define your value-propositions with every key stakeholder so expectations are in alignment on all sides.
• Employees as well as customers as well as vendors....
2. Create Trust- Strengthen the bonds of connection!
• Build the structure that creates accountability.
• Engage key stakeholders so they can help you identify your greatest opportunities for Innovation, Growth, and Profits.
• See what they see.
• Listen!
3. Create Love- Help them to love working for you!
• Deliver what is promised. 
• Be honest when you can't and about why.
• Show you're willing to do the work to fill the gap.

I use a system I call GPS Theory to create meaningful and lasting mutually beneficial relationships. The system is based on the principles of Connection, Trust, and Love and has allowed me to expand my definition of success so I can create values-driven success for the people with whom I love to spend my personal and professional time! The magic happens for me because I create if for others. I'm able to create if for other because they help me see what I need to see instead of what I want to see. This helps me actually meet their needs instead of trying to convince them that what I'm giving them does. It works in every personal, professional, and organizational situation. My clients see it this way too!

How do you ensure you're creating mutually beneficial relationships based on Connection, Trust, and Love? 

My friend, Peter Beaumont, from ConnXN, and author of The Relationship Roadmap, just published an article on building trust with customers. He's a relationship expert so you may want to check it out.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tom Eakin is the author of Finding Success and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...

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