Why People Give More and Why They Don't- A Love Story

I Searched for a Decade for an Answer to This Question

As a Ranger and Combat Engineer Officer, I learned how to make values-based decisions every day…even when it was really hard…especially when it was really hard.  In that culture, success absolutely depended on relationships and trust.

Later, I learned that success in the corporate culture was often limited by the desires of the individual and for years my frustration with that attitude drove me to seek a solution. If I had a dollar for every relationship I messed up trying different things...

I didn't realize it at the time, but I was constantly asking this question, "Why were the soldiers I served with so much more willing to give such tremendous effort and serve so selflessly when so many of my corporate colleagues who were making so much more money were just putting in their time?"

The Answer Finally Came to Me In a Book

In 2012, I read a story in the book, They Fought for Each Other, by Kelly Kennedy, and I was soon able to put all of the pieces of the values-based system that had been floating around in my head for years. It was a true story about  a soldier named Ross McGinnis who saved the lives of his friends by purposefully blocking them from the blast of a grenade that was inside their vehicle. I later analyzed a part of McGinniss' story in my own book as an example of someone who finds inspired values-driven success.

Kennedy is so genuine in telling the stories of McGinness and his brothers in Charlie company as they help each other live through a series of devastating experiences that I'll leave the details to hear. I highly recommend her book. If we want to grow as human beings, we need to read stories like this one, stories about real human beings that break our hearts while reminding us of the spirit that drives people to do incredible things.

Every soldier wonders if they'll do what it takes to do what their friends need them to do when it matter most…especially when it’s really hard.

If You're Struggling With Following Me So Far, Here's Why

People have asked me many times, “How can such a tragic story possibly illustrate the real meaning of success? He was killed! Nobody wants that!” And, they wonder, "What does a story about soldiers have to do with success in business, anyway?"

I get it. It doesn't appear to be a very good example. But appearances can be deceiving.

So, I reply, "Think. What words would you use to describe Ross’ actions?"

They invariably use words like Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage (These words, by the way, are U.S. Army Core Values) and others like them. I hear words which any human being would want others to use to describe them even more than they'd like to hear themselves defined by their job title, the company they work for, how much money and power they have, the car they drive, the clothes they wear, etc. You know, all the things that appear to be measurements of success in our culture. 

But, the reason why Ross did what he did was much more significant.

Why Did He Do It?

What Ross McGinnis sacrificed his life for was LOVE. You see, every virtuous value leads back to Love.

Ross saw the grenade go into the Humvee. He tried to keep it from getting in.

He could have jumped out immediately after alerting everyone. He’d done his duty, right?

But, McGinnis recognized that no one inside the vehicle saw the grenade, they didn't immediately react after he screamed, "Grenade!", and he saw it sitting right in the middle of four people he couldn’t imagine the world without: These were people he Loved.

Ross knew in that split second what he was willing to live the rest of his life for.

The fact that the rest of his life lasted only a split second longer isn't the point. He made a choice to live for LOVE and in his critical moment, Ross McGinnis gave four lifetimes worth of it.

Love reminded him of his loyalty and his duty and gave him an overwhelming respect for the lives of others. Love compelled him to serve selflessly and on the honorable path.

Love provided integrity within his decisions and actions and created the personal courage Ross needed to face the consequences of his dilemma.

In Case You're Still Not Convinced

Think about it this way: What if Ross had made the different choice? What would the rest of his life had been like? Would he have considered himself a success if he'd jumped out knowing he could have done something to save his four friends? Would he have gotten what he really wanted?

Ross McGinnis believed in what he was doing, he was satisfied with his actions. He died, and it's tragic. But, he died with Love in his heart. His example is truly one of values-driven success.His is a story about Love- A Love Story.

What Does This Mean in the "Real" World?

We are each faced with dilemmas great and small every day and fail to recognize the opportunity to create value by being vulnerable.

After I read Kennedy's book, I realized what is lacking in corporate cultures where success is limited so much by the desires of the individual- Real relationships based on trust. The reason so many employees are not engaged is because nobody has given them reason to care about anybody else but themselves. What they get from the organization, their leadership and their colleagues is relegated to a transactional level, so they reciprocate.

In other words: If people don't feel the Love, why would they fight for you? Not all Love stories have happy endings. Some are tragic. Some leave you longing for something more.

Still, people say, "But, McGinnis' story is about war where lives are at risk! It's not like that in the "real" world!"

Really? Are you going to tell me finding meaningful success in your personal and professional life doesn't depend on doing what you Love with people you Love? Do you really believe you can do it without authentic relationships? Without trust? Without Love? Isn't it always relationships in which trust and Love do not exist that lead to war in the "real" world?

I promise you this, my friend, your life absolutely depends on it! And, your stake in it grows exponentially with every person you genuinely care about. 

Think about it. If I haven't convince you by now, don't bother reading the next section. It won't help you. I wish you well.

I Want to Share This Simple but Amazing "Trick"

Success is getting what you want (Look it up, see if come to the same conclusion as me). I'm not satisfied with that definition and you shouldn't be either! Something very important is missing!

It’s really hard to always know the right thing to do in every situation especially with such an incomplete definition of success, so here’s a simple "trick" that will always help you: Expand your definition of success. I call the expanded version, "Values-driven success".

Values-driven success is getting what you want and being the person you want to be. Here’s the catch, you can’t get what you really want, if you are not first the person you want to be.

Actually, it's not a trick, at all. It's a clear and logical way of thinking and acting. So, if you use it, you'll actually be clearing away all of the crap that has been limiting your success. You limit your success with confounded thought process that makes things (money, power, position, etc.) the main characters in your Love story. Are they really the reason why you're here?

If You Want to Lead Anyone...Anyone at All, You Need a System

The practice of values-driven success is scalable and can work in any cultural context if you know how to build a system for communication, measurement, and continuous improvement. 

Build that system and you can begin to build trust. Eventually, people will Love working with you. Think about it this way. I told you Ross' story and explained why he did it. The truth of the matter is, that story is as much about the other guys, the people he saved. He did it because he felt Love for them...which means up until that critical moment they did things that caused him to trust them...to Love them.

Once you've given people a reason to engage and satisfied the conditions for Trust and Love, they will lead you to your greatest opportunities for growth. There's just no telling how much value you'll get from the Love they'll give because of what you give them!

How will your Love stories end?

Will people will do amazing things because what they value aligns with what you need them to do?

Will your staff give the effort you need them to?

Will your board focus and lead the way you need them to?

Will your customers and members give what you need to fund your efforts to help more people?

Do you know why they will or won't?

It all starts and ends with Love.

I'm interested in your thoughts and insights. Why not give some Love and share them in the comments section below? And, remember, Love doesn't always mean agreement. If you disagree with anything I've shared here, I'd Love to hear your logic and reasons.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tom Eakin is the author of Finding Success and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...

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Don't Be Confused About Why People Leave

Do you have key employees who, if you lost them, would leave such a hole in your company or team that you're not sure you could ever fill it? Do you know what would make them want to stay with you? Do you know the real reason about why they might leave?

A friend of mine started working for a startup company a few years ago. She managed the operation as the company grew from less than 50 employees to over 200. It's easy to see that she's been critical to the company's growth and financial success. She recently gave her boss two week's notice. She accepted another job and took a large pay cut. 

The Awesomeness...and the Confusion 

First, I'm happy for her because she found the courage to make this difficult decision. She had to conquer her fear that she and her husband would not be able to make ends meet. In the end, they decided the most important influencing factor was her satisfaction in the work she was doing. I want to celebrate their level of faith that fulfilling the human spirit is more important than filling the bank account. You see, they recognize they have a challenging money problem. They also recognize they're capable of finding solutions. BOOM!! (picture a fist bump explosion here)

On the other hand, I also know her boss. He's confused and never saw it coming. Why did she leave? He's concerned about how he's going to make things work, although he won't admit it. I can hear it in his voice. Meanwhile, he's doing what entrepreneurs have a tendency to do, focusing on the best solution to this complex problem. 

My concern for him is this: I'm quite sure he recognized the opportunity that's been lost for him and his company. The future value of the value she'd helped him create in just a few short years instantly turned to zero.

In his rush to fill the vacuum, has he taken the time to understand why that opportunity was lost and how he could have seen it coming? 

Was it About the Money?

When she was hire, in the early days of the company, he pitched her a value-proposition that looked like this: "I can't pay you very much right now. But, if you help me grow this company, your compensation could more than double in the next few years."

He gave her a few small raises along the way. He provided a few perks and she appreciated them. But, as the Company realized the success he envisioned, the ratio between the rewards he promised in relation to the growth and the rewards he provided were miles apart.

It's easy to think this means it was about the money. But, actually, it wasn't. She heard that initial value-proposition, she bought into it, she delivered what she promised. He delivered part of it. But, it was easy for her to see the gap and it caused her to wonder if she could trust him, especially while she watched him spend money on things the company didn't really need.

So, money was a part of the problem, but not the real root cause. It was trust. He offered her more money the minute she told him she was leaving. She turned his offer down. Nobody who takes a job that pays them less money than they're currently making does it because of the money.

Other Key Factors

My two friends think in different ways. 

She knows that you can't make everyone happy so the best you can do is build a structure that creates accountability and be consistent so that people can be satisfied that they are being treated as fairly as is reasonably possible. 

He wants everyone to be happy and have fun at work. He thinks the way to do that is not create cumbersome rules and structure.

She values the personal relationship and puts it in front of the transaction.

He values the things success brings and prioritizes the transaction over the relationship.

Here's how things went down:

• She quickly became dissatisfied when he didn't allow her to create a structure with which she could lead the staff and hold them accountable.
• He became dissatisfied any time he recognized a gap between the things the employees on their staff did and his definition of acceptable professional behavior...a definition that was never documented and never fully communicated.
• Her dissatisfaction turned to frustration as she watched his emotional reactions and suggested solutions which he rejected.
• His dissatisfaction turned to frustration as he failed to solve the same problems over and over again.
• As he continued to react to situations based on emotions, he never felt he could trust his employees.
• Employees became confused about what they were supposed to be doing because no clear expectations were ever given. A lot of turnover in the staff resulted. 
• She became frustrated in her efforts to create the kind of high-performance work environment he said he wanted, and she knew how to deliver, because he wouldn't allow her to create the structure needed. So, she lost trust that she would be able to lead in his company the way she envisioned she could.
• She worked extremely long hours through the growth, the turnover, the shortage of resources, and her personal need to fulfill her responsibilities. No matter how many unplanned problems she had to help solve throughout the day, employees still needed to get their paychecks, invoices still needed to be created and sent to customers, the bills needed to be paid. She arrived at six thirty and often worked until ten at night for weeks and months at a time. He worked a normal work day.
• He failed to recognize the gap between the value-proposition he promised and what he delivered. The loss of trust weakened the connection for her.
• He failed to help her be the leader she really wanted to be. His lack of trust in her abilities further strained the connection.
• He failed to recognize her efforts and to reward them in meaningful ways. It's important to say, "You're doing a great job," but there comes a point where that's just not enough. She felt her efforts were unnoticed, under-valued, and unappreciated. One day she asked herself, "Why should I continue doing this?"  The love was lost.

Could He Have Prevented it?

The simple answer is, yes. But only if he'd seen it coming. 

Could He Have Seen it Coming?

Again, yes. But, only if he was looking...and listening...only if he valued his relationships with all of his key stakeholders more than the transactions that created wealth for his company...only if he were willing and able to measure the strength of the relationship as much as he measured the bottom line.

Business success is based on the value of the transaction. 

The transaction only happens if the relationship is seen as mutually beneficial by all involved. So, which is more important? The transaction or the relationship? Which one sets the conditions for success for the other?

I know you're smart. You know the real answer.

How to Create Mutually Beneficial Relationships

1. Create Connection- Strengthen the attraction!
• Define your value-propositions with every key stakeholder so expectations are in alignment on all sides.
• Employees as well as customers as well as vendors....
2. Create Trust- Strengthen the bonds of connection!
• Build the structure that creates accountability.
• Engage key stakeholders so they can help you identify your greatest opportunities for Innovation, Growth, and Profits.
• See what they see.
• Listen!
3. Create Love- Help them to love working for you!
• Deliver what is promised. 
• Be honest when you can't and about why.
• Show you're willing to do the work to fill the gap.

I use a system I call GPS Theory to create meaningful and lasting mutually beneficial relationships. The system is based on the principles of Connection, Trust, and Love and has allowed me to expand my definition of success so I can create values-driven success for the people with whom I love to spend my personal and professional time! The magic happens for me because I create if for others. I'm able to create if for other because they help me see what I need to see instead of what I want to see. This helps me actually meet their needs instead of trying to convince them that what I'm giving them does. It works in every personal, professional, and organizational situation. My clients see it this way too!

How do you ensure you're creating mutually beneficial relationships based on Connection, Trust, and Love? 

My friend, Peter Beaumont, from ConnXN, and author of The Relationship Roadmap, just published an article on building trust with customers. He's a relationship expert so you may want to check it out.

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Tom Eakin is the author of Finding Success and the Success Engineer at BoomLife. LEARN MORE ABOUT TOM...

READ A SAMPLE CHAPTER FROM THE BOOK

The Perfect Blend of Life and Work

The Perfect Blend of Life and Work

I am immersed, heart-deep, in the greatest challenge of a lifetime.

How do I make what I do for a living align as completely as possible with what I value most?

I am a veteran. I have worked in the corporate world for over a dozen years. During that period, I’ve experience the following results.

• I have achieved professional success while simultaneously experiencing significant failures and problems in my personal life due to values misalignment.
• I have experienced significant professional failures during prodigious periods of positive personal growth.
• I've been able to blend personal and professional success only for very brief moments in corporate environments. I want more than that...really.

Two years ago, I started a small business because, at the age of 41, I finally figured out what I want to do with my life- I want to help people find values-driven success. My own experiences and frustrations have driven me to ask hard questions about myself and my career path. My values have inspired me to continue to move forward, to break out of the thinking that my personal and professional lives cannot be blended. I'm convinced they can be through thoughtful, deliberate effort because I've experienced it before. I want to get it back and I know I cannot do it on my own. I need people-values-driven people.

Like almost every veteran I've talked with over the years, what I miss most was being a part of a culture where people did great things for each other. In that culture brotherhood and trust are earned. It is a culture based on love, the kind that compels one to action.

So, even though I still work for someone else…someone who seeks financial success while giving little more than lip service to values…I continue to develop my own business. I keep working at setting the conditions for my own values-driven success.

I volunteer with several organizations. One of them is an online mentoring program for veterans. In that role, I usually focus on developing one-on-one relationships and action plans with people I can help instead of spending a lot of time in discussion threads. Recently however, I came across a thread that caught my attention. The question that started it all related to the challenges veterans are facing as they work toward finding success in the corporate world. Veterans are struggling with finding satisfying careers.

Veterans and values-driven thinkers have a common problem to solve

After we transition out of the military, how do we fit in so we can be successful in a results-driven world? Is this what we really want?

First, let’s get to the core of the real issue- Veterans were taught how to think in a way that puts values before results. Many corporate leaders and hiring managers are conditioned for results-driven thinking. The difference between values-based and results-based thinking is the real problem.

Every human being on this planet can recognize when someone else's actions don’t match up with the stated values.

Veterans come from a culture where people come first. They care about each other so much that they are willing to point out the gaps between words and actions when they become apparent. The reason why they’re willing to do that is they recognize the real mutually beneficial relationship they seek with their colleagues: They need each other in order to be successful. 

So, values-driven thinkers learn how to tell the hard truths. More importantly, we learn to listen to the hard truths. Listening to honest feedback from the people we care about is so important because it is so easy for us to fool ourselves. Ignoring such feedback leads us to complacency and acceptance of the status quo.

In an environment where people place a higher priority on the results there is less incentive to provide accurate feedback. One could argue there is almost no incentive. The risks are just too high when one works in a culture where cutting to the core and speaking truthfully appear to be judgmental and abrasive. In such an environment, personal results (position, power, financial) are prioritized over purpose (mission, vision, values). Results-driven people value job security and political relationships as the means to get what they think they want (more rewards or maintaining the status quo).

Let's not confound the real problem.

This is not meant to be a polarizing discussion. I’m not saying values-driven people don’t or should not value results. And, I’m not saying results-driven people do not think values are important. It comes down to what is most important in every situation. Everything we do is a value-proposition and our decisions and actions show what is really most important. So, it is a question of priority. What comes first, values or results? Results-driven people tend to create gray area around values by prioritizing results. Here’s the thing about gray area: It expands. Here’s the thing about results: They’re quantifiable and therefore they become the yardstick against which success is measured when they are prioritized. The problem with being primarily results-driven is there is a great risk one will expand the values gray area beyond what is acceptable. Every human being is susceptible to this risk.

What does a successful blend look like?

What I'm really trying to say is success is a blend of both values and results. In my new book Finding Success, I tell stories to illustrate how the kind of success each person on this planet really seeks isn't as simple as just getting what you want (results). The kind of success each person is really after is values-driven success- Getting what you want and being the person you want to be (or the leader, or the organization). Values-driven success is the perfect blend of values and results; the perfect blend of life and work. Perfection is not possible, but we can always keep moving toward it...but only if we know what it looks like.

So, here are the conditions present for the problem I'd love to solve:

• Veterans have learned to say the hard truths because we seek values-driven success through continuous personal, professional and organizational improvement. Because we've learned how to prioritize values first, we’ve been inspired to achieved results that have exceeded expectations. The satisfaction we get from our efforts drives us to want to continue to improve and achieve more in the future- We see and we seek the opportunities for success beyond the status quo.
• Results-driven leaders have learned to become both risk and conflict averse. They are looking for safety and security. This is apparent when performance is measured and recognized only in relation to a budget and financial statements. Why do I say this? Budgets are generally created based on performance in previous years, especially the successful years. In other words, by wanting to repeat what's been done before results-driven leaders expect to make the same mistakes they made the year before (think about it). So, a previous level of performance has been identified as successful by people who hold power they recognize it as such. Here are a few examples:
• Staying safe = maintaining the status quo = meeting the budget = success.
• Staying safe = maintaining the status quo = keeping your job safe = success.
• Staying safe = maintaining the status quo = keeping political allies = success.

Why do veterans and values-driven thinkers even want to fit in?

There has been much discussion on focusing on encouraging businesses to hire veterans, especially with the recent passing of Veteran’s Day. The conditions I listed above cause me great concern as I don’t see things working the way everyone intends. If no one is willing to acknowledge that these conditions are present things will not end well. The conflict alreadyexists. The fact that it is publicly not acknowledged does not make itotherwise, but it does make the problem more difficult to solve.

I want to ask the veterans and other values-driven thinkers- values-driven thinking is not exclusive to veterans- these questions:

• Why do we even want to fit in?
• Is results-driven safety really what we're after? 
• Given our experiences, are sustainable safety and security even possible?
• Don’t we really want to find ways to help people find satisfaction in their efforts? Don’t we want to help people find values-driven success?
• How do we accomplish values-driven success in a world where the very resources everyone needs to survive are constrained? Resources are always either limited or unevenly distributed- This is the ultimate root cause of results-driven thinking!
• Again, why are we trying to fit into cultures where actions are primarily driven by the prospect of results (position, power, financial) when we know it’s not what we really want?
• Why would we fall into that trap when we know what truly makes us satisfied, happy, and successful is the personification of our values? (We know this because we have experienced it before!)
• What better way is there to find the blend between our personal and professional lives than to continue to put values at the forefront of our decisions and help others do the same?

Why would results-driven leaders even want to hire veterans and values-driven thinkers?

I want to ask results-driven leaders these questions:

• What is more important to you, continuous improvement or maintaining your status quo?
• What if you were given the opportunity to hear how you could achieve more personal, professional, and organizational success than you currently expect and accept?
• What would you do with that opportunity? Would you listen? Would you recognize it as help? Or, would you perceive it as abrasive, as a threat? (Actually, it is a threat, but not the in the way you might think: Every values-driven thinker wants to threaten the status-quo, not you. They want to help you.)
• What difference would it make in your organization if you hired people who know how to achieve values-driven success and you let them help you improve your:
• Culture?
• Performance?
• Profitability?

(Hint: The order of those last three sub-bullet points is not coincidental.)

Why am I asking these abrasive questions?

I am a veteran. I once left an organization by choice despite great success with regard to results (performance, position, power). I was once fired from an organization despite great success with achieving values-driven success which exceeded everyone’s performance and profitability expectations (even mine). It took me a long time to reconcile what happened but once I did, I found the conviction to do something about it.

I have real reasons for my concern with bringing values-driven thinkers into organizations that are primarily results-driven because I have been experiencing the frustrations created by the conditions I described for over 12 years in the corporate world. That’s why I started a business focused on solving the problem. That's why I wrote a book about the problem and what every individual can do to change the world by thinking and acting according to real values.

Today, I still work in a corporate environment because of personal resource constraints and I have not yet created the business model for helping others achieve values-driven success that can provide a living wage. But, I get closer every day. I keep working at it. I remember what is most important to me. I do not accept the status quo and I keep trying to do things that I can be satisfied with so I can find the values-driven success I seek. I don't want to fit in, I want to help make things better. I know that kind of success can only come in the form of helping others do the same.

Important questions for everyone. 

If you’re a veteran or a values-driven thinker, consider your answers to these questions  before you decide to accept a job offer. 

• What kind of success do you really want?
• Do you know what to do to get it?
• Are you willing to do what it takes?
• Tell the hard truths?
• Listen to the hard truths?
• Put your emotions aside and solve the real problems?

If you’re a results-driven leader, consider your answers to these questions before you decide to hire a veteran or values-driven thinker.

• What kind of success do you really want?
• Do you know what to do to get it?
• Are you willing to do what it takes?
• Tell the hard truths?
• Listen to the hard truths?
• Put your emotions aside and solve the real problems?

Yes. The questions for each group are the same. We all really want the same thing- success. The key is to become aligned on the kind of success we seek. We can create a world, a culture, a company, a community, a family where the objective is the perfect blend of values and results; the perfect blend of life and work.

It is not what we have today. We must challenge the status quo.

Values-Driven Success.

BOOM!

Tom Eakin
The Success Engineer, BoomLife

Quit Tomorrow!

Resistance to change in the status quo.
People who don't think about why it's important to them.
Indifference, fear of ambiguity, and the desire to get back into your comfort zone.
Physical, mental and spiritual fatigue.
Worry over damaging relationships.
Uncertainty.
All are conditions which exist everywhere, everyday. The overwhelming situation makes you want to quit trying to do something new and amazing, doesn't it?
Quit tomorrow, then.

 There I was: Day two of U.S. Army Ranger School at Fort Benning, Georgia. I hadn't slept in the past 48 hours. The entire time was filled unrelenting vigorous physical challenge in a program intended to weed out the weak. I was exhausted. I'd cracked two ribs on one of the sections of the obstacle course earlier that day. I hurt.

The first four days of Ranger School is where 60% of dropouts occur. Our class had already lost a large number of strong, determined soldiers who'd prepared for months by sundown on day two.

It had been a hot day and now that the sun had gone down the temperature was dipping into the 40's. We were on Malvesti Field slogging through the red Georgia clay. Malvesti Field is that place you always see on television. You know the scene, bald-headed soldiers crawling with their miserable faces pushed down in the mud beneath  a ceiling of barbed wire. To add to my exhaustion and the ribs, which shot bolts of excruciating pain throughout my body everytime I raised my right arm over my shoulder, I now had what felt like a half-gallon of red Georgia clay underneath my eyelids. I was almost blind and trying to negotiate the challenges Malvesti and the Ranger Instructors (RI's) delivered while I begged my eyes to produce enough tears to wash out the sticky mud.

While I pushed my body, there was a war going on in my head. I was thinking about the fact that it was only day two and I had over two months to go! I thought; with all of these forces lined up against me, if I am feeling this weak and vulnerable on day two, how can I possibly last? A feeling of despair came over me. I had a choice to make, hide my weakness, or tell someone about it in an environment full of the toughest people on the planet.

I decided to take a risk.

"I'm not sure I can make it through this course," I whispered to my Ranger buddy, Arjmandi. He was going through the same things I was. He also knew about my ribs and my eyes. 

"Come on, Eakin. I'm going to help you through this."

"No, I'm telling you. I'm not sure I can get through the next 60 days."

"Eakin, I'll make a deal with you. Get through tonight, with me, and we'll both quit tomorrow."

Getting through the night seemed possible. How much worse could it get? Besides, Arjmandi was going to help me. What if he needed me later on? I couldn't help him if I wasn't there, could I? I committed myself in the moment to that short-term goal. "OK. I'm with you, buddy."

"OK, Eakin, these RI's want to break us if they can. This next time through, let's scream like madmen and show them they can't break us."

"Roger that!"

We screamed like banshees! We laughed the whole way through the suck! We made it through every event that night brought us. For our efforts, we got a few hours of sleep that night.

When we woke up, I looked at Arjmandi.

He was grinning from ear to ear. "You still going to quit tomorrow, Eakin?" 

I smiled back at him. "Yeah buddy, I'm going to quit tomorrow."

• When you're feeling overwhelmed by the enormity of your situation or the challenges you've taken on. Find something productive and meaningful you can focus on and do it.
• Remember, there is someone out there who believes in you and what you're doing. Lean on them when you need them. The love, brotherhood, and trust you create in those relationships will always be the core of your success.
• If you don't take a risk and ask for help, you won't get what you really want. Real strength is not shown in facing your problems alone, it comes from having the courage to let others know you need them. 
• Sometimes you're the weakest, sometimes the strongest. Give what you can, when you can.
• Quit tomorrow. Why? It is always today. Tomorrow never comes.

I haven't talked to Arjmandi since we graduated from Ranger School in February, 1999 (Class 2-98), two months after he gave me this powerful gift. If I knew how to get in touch with him today, here's what I'd say:

"Thank you, Arjmandi, for being worthy of my trust in a time where I was most vulnerable. You taught me a lesson which has served me well and has helped me accomplish more than I ever thought possible. I will always love you like a brother for that. It's been fifteen years, but I still know I can count on you and that, my friend, is priceless. For you, and because of you, I will always quit tomorrow." 

I hope this article finds you some day. When it does, drop me a line. We'll catch up.

If you're tired of feeling overwhelmed by the challenges life throws at you, it's time to pick new challenges. Find people who will support you and show you the way. Download our Success Planning Guide for FREE! This guide is full of tools designed to help you through GPS Theory's process of changing the way you think and is a companion to my new book, Finding Success: Get what you really want. 

At BoomLife We Want To Share Values-Driven Success

BUY THE BOOK  NOW! 

If you're looking for inspiration, take a look at our BoomShare! videos. We wanted to share stories about people who are inspired to do great things so we created this series of interviews. These people want to help people find success. Hear their stories and learn how you can connect with them...and help. 

If you know someone who is doing great things to help others in meaningful ways, we'd appreciate it if you'd make an introduction so we can connect and feature their story in a future BoomShare! episode. You can email your submission to: tom@goboomlife.com

BOOM!

Tom Eakin

Success Engineer, BoomLife
Author of Finding Success

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The Agony & The Ecstasy Of Being Genuinely Me

The Agony & The Ecstasy Of Being Genuinely Me

Anyone who has created anything understands what I mean when I say there is both agony and ecstasy in sharing oneself with the world. I am experiencing these two emotions as I prepare my first book, Finding Success: Get What You Really Want, for publishing.

Source:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0058886/

About twenty years ago, I read Irving Stone's, The Agony and the Ecstasy: A biographical novel of Michelangelo (it was also made into a 1965 movie with the same title starring Charlton Heston and Rex Harrison). Michelangelo has always been one of my favorite artists because he changed the way the world looked at art. You see, Michelangelo painted people differently than anyone else. He showed the human form in a way no one in his culture had ever seen before in works of art. He depicted the curves and shadows formed by muscle and bone structures and it brought his subjects to life. He accomplished this by illegally learning about how the human body is formed through the dissection of human cadavers. Michelangelo risked severe punishment to improve his art. He took this risk because the culture he lived in forbade the level of learning he sought about the human body.

When he shared his new work with the world, I can imagine how Michelangelo agonized over whether people would accept his work and the ecstasy that comes from believing you are creating something that helps humanity take another step toward an understanding of the truth about each and every one of us.

These thoughts occurred to me this morning and I wanted to share them. I am in ecstasy over the work I've done to create a system that helps people find values-driven success in their personal, professional, and organizational lives. Yet, I agonize. I am sharing myself, the person I've been and the person I want to become. With Finding Success and with GPS Theory I am asking all of humanity to do the same. I am challenging the status quo.

Finding Success Launched
in December, 2014
BUY THE BOOK NOW! 

I agonize over the fear that no one will value the ecstasy of being genuine more than the deceptive comfort one perceives from avoiding the agony of being ignored or rejected. I have a deep concern that no one will be willing to even consider the question, but the ecstasy I feel in delivering what I believe will genuinely help people think about and see success differently so they can live the lives they dreamed of when they were children powerfully overcomes the following fears:

• Outside of my circle of family and friends, virtually nobody knows me. How will I be able to find the people who need...and want... the help I can provide with GPS Theory to help them satisfy their craving for success?
• I have proven time and again that I am not very good at marketing. How will I be able to find the people who can help me make Finding Success a success?

I honestly do not know the answers to those two questions? I am scared to death I may never find them. But, I will invest my self, my love, my time and my resources tirelessly into this work because whether they are the answers I want, or not, I will get answers from the people in my world. I am trusting in them (in you). I will learn. I will react and adapt. I will keep trying. I will always get back up. I will never give up. Because I have conviction, I am committed.

Conviction comes from what you believe in. I walk my path feeling both the agony and ecstasy that comes from believing Finding Success and with GPS Theory are the most powerful and positive gifts to humanity I can give. I present them from a position of love. They are a part of what is genuinely me. My greatest hope is my creations will help people share their genuine self with the people in their world so they can experience the values-driven success that comes from relationships based on love, brotherhood and trust. It starts with you. Thank you for reading this.

BOOM!

-Tom

If you're the kind of person who wants to find the kind of satisfaction that only comes from living by your values sign up for BoomLife's mailing list, below. We'll keep you informed on when are where you can get my upcoming book, Finding Success and what we're doing at BoomLife to help people find values-driven success with GPS Theory.

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